Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Kyotospade]

I'm lost and alone , it's been a year since my ex boyfriend ctb. My mind isn't what it was and I'm drowning in the memories of what once was.

 

[The_Hunter]

I feel disappointed and frustrated. Also I feel like I letdown some people. I got sick right on the day of New Years. And there was some plans made, now it all goes down. I could see it as some kind of a sign, but honestly, I just feel sad.

I'm sorry to hear that. Know it's not a sign, sometimes bad things happen and it feels bad, and that's ok.

Please take all the time you need to rest and take care of yourself through this period of sadness.

Your plans may not have worked now, but they can work out in the future.

There is no greater explanation to your plans or feelings being down; sometimes bad things happen, and things don't go as planned. But that's part of life, too, and there can be good occurrences after the bad ones.

Best of luck. Remember that one day, maybe you'll just randomly remember the pain you are currently in right now and think "huh, that sure was bad then, but it's not so bad anymore."

Know your pain can pass; and one day or a week is just one small piece of a whole new year. Hope you get well soon :) and hope you keep well in your current sadness.

...

There are times we feel like a hollow shell and even good things seem to be poisoned. We just survive those times. We take distractions and little joys to get through that depression. [ ... ] Music helps as well. Catharsis helps. [...] Art helps.

We really need both to value things we take for granted and also to have a tiny bit of hope for what's to come. [...] Only you can find your reasons to live there are worth it to you, things that make each day worth it. I'm still trying to figure out my own. It's hard and it's a process and you take it a bit at a time. I hope you find what you need to and that you take care of yourself. [...]

—u/justice4winnie

 

[thinkingofdeath]

Sad, anxious, heavy, fearful. Trying to sleep it off but I know I'm going to wake up in a few hours feeling tender, with the pain intensified.

 

[Electra]

Overwhelmed, anxious, uneasy. Don't know what to do. Feel like something is swallowing me whole.

 

[Lullaby]

I'm so freaking embarrassed. I don't want to be too specific about this, but I tried putting myself out there and really just failed spectacularly.

I shouldn't have even bothered to begin with, but I did, and it just sucks so much watching others get what you hoped would happen to you. I just feel so humiliated.

Can't wait to get off this stupid rock.

 

[SA1994EC]

l can't believe I am still here alive. Everything in the universe has been telling me I should have died a very long time ago. And I am getting more and more suffering every day. I need to get ready & kill myself now. Too painful…

 

[roboteulogy]

i'm scared i won't get better. i haven't gotten better despite things changing. i'm terrified of the future. i feel like it's only going to get worse.

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

I feel absurd knowing I need to go against s prevention in order to achieve peace. It feels cruel
and unusual

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Low. Confused. Slightly angry... irritated?

Considering how certain people talk about me I must be a monster.

 

[Lullaby]

So, before my ECT sessions start, I have these brief check ins with my doctor.

This morning, I was just really honest and mentioned I haven't been doing much because my ideation has been so horrible. I'm really trying my best, but it's hard when you're constantly thinking about wanting to die 24/7 throughout the day…

I'll be in a car hoping it'll crash, or out walking and hoping one will just hit me. I feel like that's no way for anyone to live, it sucks.

But he thinks it's not a big deal — as long as i'm not planning anything, I just need to push through it and it's so frustrating to hear that. I literally wanted to cry.

He wants me to deal with that, all while trying to apply to vet school…

Maybe I am making excuses for myself, I'm not sure. If I really wanted to die, I guess I would've done it by now. Most of my close friends on here are gone.

It's just hard to do these things when you've lost all the drive to live. Every time I fight back, I get kicked down and I'm exhausted.

Anyways, hope everyone on here is hanging on the best they can

 

[sorrymyfault]

I feel so behind in life again. How could I be so bad at something everyone seems to be perfect at? I can't make a human connection yet these people are having the best fun of their lives. I am just ungrateful for everything this life gave me, that's how I feel. I'm short, I'm ugly, I stink because I rarely shower, my teeth are horrible, my lungs are in horrible health due to my parents smoking since I was a baby, my mind is destroyed from anything I have done to capture joy in this life, I am so fucking deformed I don't look like a homo sapient, I'm overweight because of all the anxiety eating, I'm always sick and my nose is stuffed because of reasons doctors can't pinpoint. How am I supposed to even feel.

 

[33-vertebrae]

I am so tired of having to defend myself in some capacity every fucking day.

I'm tired of people trying to police my emotions, facial expressions, and the fact that I SIGH in exasperation.

Like, you should be fucking lucky that ALL I do is sigh, and that I'm not acting out violently against your daily bullshit.

My God, standing up for myself shouldn't have to be a daily occurrence over the most frivolous shit, and it's not like it does me any good, considering I still won't get respected and people will keep acting the same fucking way regardless.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My bf is cute! He makes me so happy.

 

[Sockeye Salmon]

i'm so fucking tired
of everything

 

[SA1994EC]

I can't do this any more. I can't go on either ways. I just can't…

 

[iset]

alone, sad, lonely

 

[Electra]

I feel pressed. Anxious. Panick-y. I feel like my chest is being pressed by some external force and it's so difficult to breathe. To just expand my lungs fully. To relax. To calm down. I feel like I want to understand what is going on, where does it come from. I feel.

 

[yearofluigi]

I wish I could actually not think and just type. I think too much. I tire myself out overthinking the most stupid trivial things because every time a social interaction doesn't go absolutely perfectly I feel the need to convince myself that I'm not an awful person and then other person isn't gonna immediately abandon me. I think normal people deal with similar situations by going like "that was bad, whoops" and moving on but I just can't do that; I have to stay fucking fixated for hours on whatever went wrong and I can't stop myself.

Just gotta stay strong for now. Not allowed to bother anyone irl with my feelings cause I don't want them to think of me as high-maintenance or clingy. I dunno if I actually wanna die but the only thing that brings me comfort when I'm spiralling (and it's very easy for me to start spiralling these days) is the idea that I might not have to deal with it for much longer.

 

[enough of this]

I'm homesick. I just want to go home - my eternal, ethereal home. I'm so looking forward to getting out of this asylum.

 

[sukiduki]

i keep going back and forth on when i should do it. is the end of the year too much? will it ruin peoples holidays? i also feel like i definitely need to be in a hotel bc i don't want my family to see me first. but i feel bad for the staff who will find me. but since the method should be peaceful with sn i feel like it won't be that bad.

 

[Greyhawk]

I feel like a worthless failure, tired of myself and the world. My life is not going anywhere and I don't even have the courage to end it.

 

[human909]

Lazy, dumb and frustrated.

 

[Electra]

I feel pressed. Anxious. Panick-y. I feel like my chest is being pressed by some external force and it's so difficult to breathe. To just expand my lungs fully. To relax. To calm down. I feel like I want to understand what is going on, where does it come from. I feel.

Same.

 

[EndOfTheLine1990]

It's over

 

[CTB Dream]

this lif all wrng me v sad no want exst

 

[HereTomorrow]

People should not be shocked when they bully, belittle, and isolate someone and they become suicidal.

I'm someone.

 

[SA1994EC]

Why do humans live so long? Cats only live up to 20 and dogs live shorter. Many animals are like that. We, human, live for such a long time only to suffer more and longer. It is absolutely unfair. Our existence is cursed.

 

[broken_doll]

I'm reaching new levels of feeling invisible and entirely like I don't matter to anyone than I knew possible cause Jesus Christ on toast it's crushingly despairing rn

 

[ijustwishtodie]

The anxiety that I have around my method potentially failing due to shitty luck is getting to me. I wish that I didn't have to worry about humans even during my final moments. It's so unfair. I wish that I could go to a completely private place where it is okay for me to die and I wouldn't get resuscitated by anybody. I know I'm overthinking this but I really, really, really, really don't want to fail since this is my only chance to get it right

 

[CTB Dream]

this rly awfl lif no know wat do all trap