Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[dhk96]

I'm so pathetic.

I got a small cut on my thumb two days ago while trying to open a plastic container.

It hasn't healed yet but times like these always remind me of when I got a papercut from trying to open a box of bandages to use on a different papercut.

Like damn, Universe. How much more pathetic can I get?

 

[neverexistedd]

awful, frustrated, humiliated, powerless, I'm done with this shitass work but I'm not sure if I'll be able stay there for the next 2-3 months I would love to be gone just now
fuck being a wageslave cuck

 

[Manaaja]

Heaven is the opposite of hell, so only people who are the opposite of hell can go to heaven.

 

[trashhologram]

Annoyed by people who bully others. Yes, I can and am a bitch too, but usually not the instigator. There was a user in one thread here where it belittled others trauma because "there wasn't physical violence so it's not even bad". I really hope people like that get emotionally abused so they will learn how much more and longer it hurts than being punched. Fucking moron.

 

[Dejected 55]

Its all a swirling mist of horrible and hurtful and lonely and frustrating and anxious... over and over and over... day after day after day... and I keep waking up to a new day of more awful, and I keep going to sleep hoping I don't wake up again, but I always do... I always do... and I'm tired.

 

[enne]

anxious. not anxiety. i just want to escape. almost skin crawling desperation.

 

[scordatura]

I'm grieving for something I've not even lost yet. But it's looming and getting closer and closer. It's inevitable. I don't know what I'll do when it comes... I'm scared... I'm already alone... but I'll be even more alone... it's not something i want to lose. it's something i really want to hold onto but I can't... i just can't... I don't want to deal with the loss, another loss. I'll be even emptier than I am now.... and I'm really ... empty... just now

What will I have left and what will I do from then? Time goes so fucking fast it's brutal. Please give me some time to pause, I want to pause on the good parts. I want to pause on the good memories. Why is that way? from the moment it passes the memory starts to fade, until it's not even a haze in your mind, when your desperately trying to cling onto someones voice, and eventually you can't recall it. yet everything else, all the fucked up parasitic stuff, lives in your DNA for your own personal eternity? why? I'm terrified.

and you know the folk who say, along the lines of life is worth living for the few fleeting moments of good and connection... why is that the case? are you not tormented by it? like its there only to make everything else hit harder? when its torn away from you. the pain. the grief. the loses. the isolation. everything you once had...

i have a migraine. im confused. life just is constantly fucking brutal on all my senses. It's been a really rough day. I feel completely empty, i don't know what's worth living for? I'm constantly in fucking pain and peace only exists in one form...

please fucking help me...

but...
you'll never be answered...

 

[Bowerbird]

looks like it might be time for me to start planning my "way out"

things are just gonna get worse

i'll dig my way out... even if that digging ends in a grave

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

The number of "progressive" YouTubers who have seen fit to promote the phenomenon of lolcows or lolcow monitoring is concerning to me. Like... I can understand viewing certain individuals as weird or morally obtuse and wanting to issue a caution against their actions, but said YouTubers still end up encouraging the online stalking they claim to oppose.

 

[Yuja]

nothing. I don't know if it's neutral or not. It's not in a negative way either (I don't think?). Just feels like I'm living in the third person. I know there's a word for this feeling but I don't remember.

 

[buriedinmyhead]

Mildly suicidal

 

[Mio_Kamimachi]

Dizzy

nothing. I don't know if it's neutral or not. It's not in a negative way either (I don't think?). Just feels like I'm living in the third person. I know there's a word for this feeling but I don't remember.

Dissociation / Dissociative?

 

[Dejected 55]

I'm always waiting for shoes to drop. When is the next bad thing going to happen or materialize at my doorstep? When will I get that call or email or letter or knock at the door? Nobody visits me with good news... so anything coming my way is going to be bad at this point. It has all been downhill for a while and it only picks up speed the farther I go.

 

[Yuja]

Dizzy


Dissociation / Dissociative?

ah yes this was the term. thank you

 

[Salvation_]

above all else, tired i guess. i feel like returning to this place is inevitable. well, until you-know-what.... inexplicably, i feel like a dog. a dog that's always sad. i don't blame the dog for being sad, i blame it (myself) for existing. i have work in 9 hours so really, i shouldn't even be worrying about any of this stuff. but sometimes i like to close my eyes and pretend i could die tonight because it makes me feel better. i also know the night i die, it'll be a whimper. there will be no magic message stopping me from taking my last breath, no drama, just silence. it'd probably take a few days for anyone to notice. that's depressing, i guess. but i'm used to it.

 

[tender/branson]

alien

 

[Dejected 55]

I feel pretty much the way I always feel. I am miserable and tired and frustrated at nearly everything. For the moment I have food to eat, water to drink, and a roof over my head. None of that will last. I wish to die in my sleep each night but I never do. I don't like it here, in this world, not even a little bit. I want the end to be here, I want it to be with minimal pain if it can't be entirely without pain. I've had so much suffering and loneliness my entire life, I just want it all to stop. I'm done and no one cares or is coming to save me and show me love that I have never known or allow me to give all the love I have always wanted to give. I'm never going to amount to anything. Nobody will notice when I am gone. I was completely irrelevant. I never needed to be here.

 

[scordatura]

Am I giving myself false memories to cope? False futures, hopeful... hopeful for something that has a slim chance of happening? It makes me feel happy and I can get lost in it. Then, you remember. It's not real...