Resource How to hang yourself

[Mr. Incapable]

I think there should be more than enough constant pressure on the neck as it only takes around 11lbs of pressure to constrict the carotid arteries and after unconsciousness has occurred and the body has gone limp with it's full suspended weight I think it would be unlikely or difficult for a convulsion to move or support the body in a way that would remove that much pressure, especially when asphyxia would also be in function after unconsciousness and the full weight has tightened the ligature. (I'm speaking for pos 2 and 3 partial than pos 4). I think I'm likely going to somewhere between pos 2 and 3. Maybe I'll start more closely to 2 and if I'm able to stretch or kick my legs out before unconsciousness I'll do that? Not sure yet

Edit: I forgot to mention I sometimes struggle to believe people post accurate or true information regarding their attempts. I know many are likely real experiences, but also many seem like exaggeration or fear mongering

 

[Deleted member 847]

I think there should be more than enough constant pressure on the neck as it only takes around 11lbs of pressure to constrict the carotid arteries and after unconsciousness has occurred and the body has gone limp with it's full suspended weight I think it would be unlikely or difficult for a convulsion to move or support the body in a way that would remove that much pressure, especially when asphyxia would also be in function after unconsciousness and the full weight has tightened the ligature. (I'm speaking for pos 2 and 3 partial than pos 4). I think I'm likely going to somewhere between pos 2 and 3. Maybe I'll start more closely to 2 and if I'm able to stretch or kick my legs out before unconsciousness I'll do that? Not sure yet

Edit: I forgot to mention I sometimes struggle to believe people post accurate or true information regarding their attempts. I know many are likely real experiences, but also many seem like exaggeration or fear mongering

Mm. I have an odd question
What do you think happens if you succeed? (lol)
I just want you to visualize the fact that in my failed experience of 4 minutes
I literally teleported on the floor one blink after the 7second mark of the dizzy feeling

That means there will be an infinite amount of years that will pass in the universe
after you hang yourself, and if you were to wake up, the infinite years to you
will happen one second after you've hanged yourself
Just like my four minutes didn't exist to me, I just blinked and I was on the floor

Do you fear that there might be an afterlife?
The fear of one has been one of the reasons why I decided to not attempt anymore,
unless I have no other choice (I'll be homeless the next day if I don't kick the chair or something)
that 0.0000...1% chance that something will recreate my consciousness or brain
after my death gives a certain feeling of uneasiness (who would want to reincarnate as a "stupid mice", or some other living being on some planet living a harsh life, full of physical and emotional pain/discomfort)

I think life is a fucking lottery
I'm not the guy being burned alive by his tribe members in africa, because I got lucky
and I happened to be in this one brain, that lives in europe instead of africa
I don't get the luxury of not being burned alive because I deserve it, it was just given to me by mere circumstance
so if there is an afterlife it could be as random as earthly life
I could lose the bet the next time I respawn

Patterns usually tend to repeat themselves, and I think consciousness is just the function of a pattern, I don't think it's inconceivable
that your theater of my mind could happen again

I made a thread about it (it's kind of dead now, the guy that I was arguing with chose not to respond to my arguments anymore)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...rlife-thread-because-i-like-them.93149/page-3

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Mm. I have an odd question
What do you think happens if you succeed? (lol)
I just want you to visualize the fact that in my failed experience of 4 minutes
I literally teleported on the floor one blink after the 7second mark of the dizzy feeling

That means there will be an infinite amount of years that will pass in the universe
after you hang yourself, and if you were to wake up, the infinite years to you
will happen one second after you've hanged yourself
Just like my four minutes didn't exist to me, I just blinked and I was on the floor

Do you fear that there might be an afterlife?
The fear of one has been one of the reasons why I decided to not attempt anymore,
unless I have no other choice (I'll be homeless the next day if I don't kick the chair or something)
that 0.0000...1% chance that something will recreate my consciousness or brain
after my death gives a certain feeling of uneasiness (who would want to reincarnate as a "stupid mice", or some other living being on some planet living a harsh life, full of physical and emotional pain/discomfort)

I made a thread about it (it's kind of dead now, the guy that I was arguing with chose not to respond to my arguments anymore)

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...rlife-thread-because-i-like-them.93149/page-3

So what was the logical reason for you to end up on the floor? I assume your anchor or ligature must've broke because it doesn't seem possible to be on the floor by any other way?

Afterlife? Honestly, I don't have a hard belief in anything and I'm fine with that. At the end of the day we will all reach the point of death sooner or later so it doesn't warrant much thought or concern for me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If you ask what I would like to happen, absolutely I would like to be reborn again and have another chance to try to live life better and more fulfilling-ly.. but I wouldn't say I believe that rebirth exists because I don't know or have a solid belief in anything that doesn't have evidence to support it..

The main fear I have when it comes to attempting is the innate survival instinct that often overwhelms us, the fear that comes with having to suffer or struggle in those final moments even though it's short and temporary, and also just feeling sad and guilty that suicide is truly my only option when I wish I could've lived better. I can see and recognise all the wonderful things there are in life and I wish I could've had the confidence, motivation, passion and level of happiness to explore and experience that great things or things that peak my curiosity.. even though I know I'll never be able to do those things because I'm limited and overwhelmed by my own innate sadness, anxiety and depression, it still makes it hard to let go. I don't have the self motivation, will or passion to try anymore. It's been 12 years since my first serious suicide attempt and after then I promised to try to live before I make the decision to die and I'm exhausted now.. but it's still so hard to let go even though I'm so desperate to

 

[Deleted member 847]

So what was the logical reason for you to end up on the floor? I assume your anchor or ligature must've broke because it doesn't seem possible to be on the floor by any other way?

Afterlife? Honestly, I don't have a hard belief in anything and I'm fine with that. At the end of the day we will all reach the point of death sooner or later so it doesn't warrant much thought or concern for me. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. If you ask what I would like to happen, absolutely I would like to be reborn again and have another chance to try to live life better and more fulfilling-ly.. but I wouldn't say I believe that rebirth exists because I don't know or have a solid belief in anything that doesn't have evidence to support it..

The main fear I have when it comes to attempting is the innate survival instinct that often overwhelms us, the fear that comes with having to suffer or struggle in those final moments even though it's short and temporary, and also just feeling sad and guilty that suicide is truly my only option when I wish I could've lived better. I can see and recognise all the wonderful things there are in life and I wish I could've had the confidence, motivation, passion and level of happiness to explore and experience that great things or things that peak my curiosity.. even though I know I'll never be able to do those things because I'm limited and overwhelmed by my own innate sadness, anxiety and depression, it still makes it hard to let go. I don't have the self motivation, will or passion to try anymore. It's been 12 years since my first serious suicide attempt and after then I promised to try to live before I make the decision to die and I'm exhausted now.. but it's still so hard to let go even though I'm so desperate to

Anchor did

that's pretty much the only reason why I'm here
(with an ugly stammer too)

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Anchor did

that's pretty much the only reason why I'm here
(with an ugly stammer too)

That's one of my biggest anxieties with hanging, and that's why I placed solid wood supports underneath my bar anchor to give myself the best chance of succeeding. Failing after unconsciousness cannot be an option for me because I don't want to be disabled or end up in a hospital, under constant supervision or becoming a burden on my family since they're not currently aware of the severity of my mental health

 

[Mr. Incapable]

I was reading about some suicides today and one ligature I kept seeing repeatedly was elastic bands. I was a little confused wondering what kind of elastic band.. why an elastic band of all things.. how long is it.. is it even secure or strong.. so I googled it and it's like resistance band for exercising! Well, coincidentally I actually have a bunch of the exact same kind elastic bands detailed in these cases and I had seen from police or forensic photography in a box hidden away in a cupboard at home. So I wanted to test it. I pulled one out, anchored it, wrapped it around my neck then tightened it, and I cannot fathom how much more of a comfortable experience that felt for me. I've tried previous ligature likes belts, scarfs, torn bedsheets, cables, rope and I found all of those to have some level of discomfort like it was pinching or digging into my skin.. sure, CTB by one of those would only be temporary pain and it wasn't unbearable pain either but the elastic band feels really good and really strong. It was compressing my airways enough without fully choking me - probably because there's some stretch to it so I could still breathe - but it was tight enough that the sides of my neck had a lot of constriction to the point I know this could affect my carotids. I could feel it almost immediately. I think because it's a resistance elastic, the material naturally tightens itself as it wants to pull back to its original form. Very glad I found that information, even more glad I already have these bands at home. Can't wait til Wednesday to try it for real.

 

[LeavingEarly]

I just thought this information is better off here now, because the original source has been taken down.
If this violates any rules or if the author doesn't want this information to be reproduced on other sites, the admins or mods are free to delete my thread. I hope you don't mind, this is very useful, and it's not my intention to steal Loe's content.
Source and credit: Loe

Guide to partially suspended hanging:

Warning: Don't try this method unless you're totally sure that:
a) you want to kill yourself
b) that you won't be found for at least 30 minutes after you attempt.

This method is very lethal and quick (quick from your perspective
anyway, as you black out within seconds), but if you're found in time
and 'saved' you can end up with serious brain damage and/or be left a
vegetable.

Why partial suspension?
Because full suspension seems to me to be unnecessary and creates
difficulties. First of all you need to find a place which would hold
your entire weight, which isn't easy, and also you need a stronger
ligature, which isn't always easy to find either. There's nothing
wrong with full suspension, but it may not be a viable method for
everyone, especially if you're looking to use everyday materials from
around the home.

By partial suspension I mean that you hang yourself around the neck
(specifically the carotid artery), and push downwards while kneeling.
This should create enough downward pressure on the ligature to tighten
it and close the carotid artery and stop the blood flow to your brain.
All you need is 3 kilograms of pressure to do this, which isn't much
at all.

Also, with full suspension your entire body weight is pressurizing
your neck, and this would probably be more than enough to not only cut
off the blood supply to your brain, but break your neck as well. I'm
not too sure if that's a good or a bad thing. I do know though, that
statistically people who've attempted via hanging have more often been
found kneeling and partially suspended than being fully suspended.

Where is the carotid artery?
Before you start you have to know this. If you place your hand around
the middle of your neck, around your Adam's apple, with one thumb on
one side and all fingers on the other, you should feel a strong pulse
and heartbeat. If you close your hand now fairly firmly, you'll
probably make yourself pass out. It might be a good idea to try this
to make sure you've got the right spot.

What type of ligature?
You need a ligature that's strong, but not too elastic. It doesn't
have to be very long, 1 meter or more would be plenty. I'd advise
against nylon rope, string, fishing wire, etc.
Neckties on the other hand, are perfect Smile .

It may also be a good idea to lubricate the ligature with soap. This
would help the noose tighten even quicker, especially if you're using
a rough ligature such as a rope. Lubricating it in this way will
increase the friction once you push your head down and tighten the
noose, and could make it a little more effective and faster.

What type of knot?
A slipknot. It's one of the most basic knots around, and you make it
with one end of your ligature. The other end should go around your
hanging place.

Many people have the misguided idea that a hangman's knot should be
used, but they're wrong. A hangman's knot is for a completely
different purpose, and won't work for this method.

Where should I hang?
You should hang from a support which will hold part of your weight.

You should test this by tying the loose end of your ligature around
the support several times, sticking your hand (NOT your head) in the
noose and pushing down with it. If the noose holds, you're fine. If
not, then you'll have to find another spot.

A great and easy place to hang is from the thick horizontal metal bar
which you find in wardrobes in most homes.

When should I do it?
When no one else will be in the same area, for at least 30 minutes.
You lose consciousness within seconds but your body doesn't completely
die for around 15-20 minutes. The extra 10-15 minutes is for
preparation time and just in case.

How?

When you're completely ready, kneel down, stick your head in the
noose, position it around the carotid artery and push downwards with
your head.

Good luck...

You can use a neck tie? So just a neck tie tied to some rope and around the horizontal pole in your closet?

 

[Worndown]

is there a way to limit severe neck pain during full suspension?
and if I lose consciousness is death assured?

Use a large enough rope.

is there a way to limit severe neck pain during full suspension?
and if I lose consciousness is death assured?

A larger rope will make it more comfortable. If you pass out during full, you will die.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

it might be uncomfortable.
I've never tried full suspension.I have no idea how it would feel. The only thing I know is that your whole body will press on your neck with full.
I did a partial that became a full when I was already unconscious.
It's all I can tell you know.
and obviously the biggest disadvantage is that you can't change your mind. I changed my mind, but the dizziness didn't care about my opinion.

In my opinion the biggest adventage of full suspension is that you cannot change your mind. I know that I don´t have the willpower for partial hanging.

 

[Hangman]

What about hanging from a fixed ladder? I'm trying to find a way to do full hanging with the possibility of backing out. Hanging from a ladder would allow me to step on it and climb up if I change my mind, especially if I botch it and would otherwise end up hanging for an extended period without being able to pass out.

Chair, stool or such next to the hanging spot has the risk I end up toppling it over. There could be a solution to fix the chair into the ground as well.

 

[SeekingPeace2000]

Could a pullup bar like this be efficient as a anchor point setup? Or is it too risky? It isn´t drilled into the wall

 

[Deleted member 847]

Could a pullup bar like this be efficient as a anchor point setup? Or is it too risky? It isn´t drilled into the wall

It's designed to hold your weight, which is a good thing

 

[SeekingPeace2000]

It's designed to hold your weight, which is a good thing

Yes it is. I was thinking in case I started trembling when I am hanging. Is there a high possibility of that happening?

 

[Worndown]

Most people pass out quickly with full. Unless your SI got you to back out almost immediately, stepping on the ladder to escape is unlikely. It all is secure and no rescuer us about, it is a one and done situation.

Yes it is. I was thinking in case I started trembling when I am hanging. Is there a high possibility of that happening?

Grab the bar so it supports your full weight and wiggle around a lot. If it holds you are good to go.

 

[Never lived]

First post, and potentially dumb question but - what is it supposed to feel like when you know you're constricting your carotid arteries, or can it differ between people?
trying to desensitize myself to the whole process of partial hanging to overcome SI, while doing it just makes my entire face feel extremely pressurized
didn't do it for more than 10 seconds and didn't pass out in the slightest or anything, though I've never before actually passed out for any reason in my entire life, so I'm not sure if I'll know when I'm doing it right or not

 

[Deleted member 847]

First post, and potentially dumb question but - what is it supposed to feel like when you know you're constricting your carotid arteries, or can it differ between people?
trying to desensitize myself to the whole process of partial hanging to overcome SI, while doing it just makes my entire face feel extremely pressurized
didn't do it for more than 10 seconds and didn't pass out in the slightest or anything, though I've never before actually passed out for any reason in my entire life, so I'm not sure if I'll know when I'm doing it right or not

It's like vertigo and euphoria combined
you won't miss it when you feel it for the first time
it's something you've never felt before
it feels good and bad at the same time
I don't know how to explain it in words

It will be like the first time you masturbated
you didn't miss that one, and you won't miss this one either

I've felt this feeling at least 50 times
loved it every single time

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Is a slipknot enough to hold my weight in full suspension from q tree?
My rope is shibari/bondage one 10 meters long but doesn't say anything about weight limit
I'm 48 kg

I will test my complete setup, rope, knot, branch, etc as follows: Put something like a broomstick instead of your neck in the noose, grab the stick with both hands, make some chin ups and swing around. This way you test also whether the noose is high enough for full suspension, your feet have to be off the ground when you are at the highest position of your chin up.

If you are not sure whether your rope takes your weight you can use a double rope.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

Yeah that's my gripe with the partial suspension since it's a bit tricky to compress the carotids without crushing the windpipe. The night-night method seems like an easy solution since you are essentially simulating two big hands squeezing your neck.

As for passing out, personally whenever I stand up real quick, I start to see "tv static" in my vision while simultaneously wobbling. Never actually passed out aside from a Diphenhydramine OD, that situation I have no memory of at all except for when I took it.

im planning on adding diphen to my 'passive hanging' method, so that's good to know - basically take a lot of sedating shit after putting noose around my neck, and wait for the inevitable fall

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

First post, and potentially dumb question but - what is it supposed to feel like when you know you're constricting your carotid arteries, or can it differ between people?
trying to desensitize myself to the whole process of partial hanging to overcome SI, while doing it just makes my entire face feel extremely pressurized
didn't do it for more than 10 seconds and didn't pass out in the slightest or anything, though I've never before actually passed out for any reason in my entire life, so I'm not sure if I'll know when I'm doing it right or not

If your entire face feels extremely pressurized the pressure to your neck is not high enough to constrict your carotid arteries, only your jugular veins are constricted a little but not completely otherwise you will pass out within 10 seconds.

If you want to know how it feels to pass out throw the free end of the rope over a branch and hold it with your hands and than lift your legs until you hang free. When you pass out you will fall on the ground which should be as soft as possible. The pressure to your neck is in the range of partial hanging because your hands take about half of your wight.

In any case it is important that you never fix the free end of the rope unless you really want to die. If your carotids are constricted completely unconsciousness comes without warning, many auto-erotic deaths should be a warning.

 

[BasqueClown]

If you are not sure whether your rope takes your weight you can use a double rope.

In any case I'll test first partial. If I don't pass out with that, I plan to setup the rope to full suspension, test like you suggest, then going up to the tree, put the noose in my neck. I'm considering to take some sleeping pills to be drowsy or near sleep and then jump
I hope no one pass in that forest in that night

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

why is anyone going with partial, when a sedated full would definitely kill you with only half the consciousness? I don't understand this obsession with getting partial right, when you could get into a position for a full, then drink or take something extremely sedating, and then fall, and you're done

 

[BasqueClown]

why is anyone going with partial, when a sedated full would definitely kill you with only half the consciousness? I don't understand this obsession with getting partial right, when you could get into a position for a full, then drink or take something extremely sedating, and then fall, and you're done

I think media has the reason of this popularity. Since some celebrities achieved their deaths with that method, why not us? But I'm pro full too.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

I think media has the reason of this popularity. Since some celebrities achieved their deaths with that method, why not us? But I'm pro full too.

i think to do a partial you've got to really REALLY want to die, and most people don't, they want a solution so they can live again, which is what i want, so i know i have to full, so that i can't back out even if i want to, which i likely will, because i want to live, but i want to live pain free, which is becoming an impossibility

 

[Worndown]

First post, and potentially dumb question but - what is it supposed to feel like when you know you're constricting your carotid arteries, or can it differ between people?
trying to desensitize myself to the whole process of partial hanging to overcome SI, while doing it just makes my entire face feel extremely pressurized
didn't do it for more than 10 seconds and didn't pass out in the slightest or anything, though I've never before actually passed out for any reason in my entire life, so I'm not sure if I'll know when I'm doing it right or not

Testing is less intense than doing it for real. If doing full, the tightness of the noose will be much greater and shut you down quickly. That is the goal, fast and with as little discomfort as possible.
Partial will have less pressure, likely more discomfort and take longer to pass out.

 

[Deleted member 847]

Why do you need to be sedated?
Isn't the whole weight of your body pressed on your neck enough to make you pass out, regardless of the diameter and strength of your neck?
Less than that was good enough to make me lose consciousness.
The leg out of chair technique works wonders

 

[BasqueClown]

Why do you need to be sedated?
Isn't the whole weight of your body pressed on your neck enough to make you pass out, regardless of the diameter and strength of your neck?
Less than that was good enough to make me lose consciousness.
The leg out of chair technique works wonders

Well, in my case, is for being in the middle of mental state between dreaming and partially conscious about what I'm doing. If in full hanging I achieve unconsciousness in less than 10 seconds, I'll give a try.

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

Why do you need to be sedated?
Isn't the whole weight of your body pressed on your neck enough to make you pass out, regardless of the diameter and strength of your neck?
Less than that was good enough to make me lose consciousness.
The leg out of chair technique works wonders

so im not aware of the fucking horrendously painful end to my disastrously shite life

 

[Mr. Incapable]

why is anyone going with partial, when a sedated full would definitely kill you with only half the consciousness? I don't understand this obsession with getting partial right, when you could get into a position for a full, then drink or take something extremely sedating, and then fall, and you're done

I plan to go by partial and there's different factors for why I chose partial over full.
The main reason is I want to be in control of my experience before I fall unconscious. I'd rather fall unconscious due to hypoxia (lack of blood flow to the brain) than asphyxia (suffocation/inability to breathe). You could say "but you want to die anyway, so just do full and you can't back out" but I personally believe, contrary to the media or personal opinion, hanging doesn't have to be violent or painful, I believe it can be a peaceful and relatively painless method when unconsciousness is bought on by hypoxia first. Not only is it meant to be euphoric (according to some reports) but there's also less struggle or immediate panic compared to asphyxia when the body is suddenly unable to breathe. Whatever happens after unconsciousness I don't care about as I won't be conscious to feel or experience it. It seems a lot of people on this forum are all trying to seek the most peaceful or painless method to CTB - I don't think any of us really want to suffer on our way out since we've suffered so much in life already and that's why a lot of people are trying to get hold of SN as their 'peaceful' exit. Hanging is my personal preference to CTB and if there's a relatively peaceful and painless way to go about it, I'm all for it.

In addition to that 1. The rooms in my home aren't really tall enough for me to fully suspended even if I wanted to. 2. I don't want to CTB outside. 3. The immediate panic and struggle with full frightens me compared to a more gentle approach with partial. 4. I don't have sedative drugs

I think a lot of people misunderstand what partial hanging is. One of the most common or notable ways to hang is tying a ligature to a door handle, throwing it over the door to the other side and hanging with your back against the door. In the majority of those cases, the person is standing or touching the floor with their feet so it's still considered partial.

I think there's also something telling about both methods. With full suspension, you could infer the person was brave and courageous enough to commit to their decision to drop from their step/stool. They were so desperate to die they took the approach that you cannot back out from.

And equally with partial suspension, you could infer this person was so desperate to end their life, even though they had the option to back out if they wanted to, they didn't and it shows their full intent to CTB.

That's how I see it anyway

 

[HopefulButPrepared]

I plan to go by partial and there's different factors for why I chose partial over full.
The main reason is I want to be in control of my experience before I fall unconscious. I'd rather fall unconscious due to hypoxia (lack of blood flow to the brain) than asphyxia (suffocation/inability to breathe). You could say "but you want to die anyway, so just do full and you can't back out" but I personally believe, contrary to the media or personal opinion, hanging doesn't have to be violent or painful, I believe it can be a peaceful and relatively painless method when unconsciousness is bought on by hypoxia first. Not only is it meant to be euphoric (according to some reports) but there's also less struggle or immediate panic compared to asphyxia when the body is suddenly unable to breathe. Whatever happens after unconsciousness I don't care about as I won't be conscious to feel or experience it. It seems a lot of people on this forum are all trying to seek the most peaceful or painless method to CTB - I don't think any of us really want to suffer on our way out since we've suffered so much in life already and that's why a lot of people are trying to get hold of SN as their 'peaceful' exit. Hanging is my personal preference to CTB and if there's a relatively peaceful and painless way to go about it, I'm all for it.

In addition to that 1. The rooms in my home aren't really tall enough for me to fully suspended even if I wanted to. 2. I don't want to CTB outside. 3. The immediate panic and struggle with full frightens me compared to a more gentle approach with partial. 4. I don't have sedative drugs

I think a lot of people misunderstand what partial hanging is. One of the most common or notable ways to hang is tying a ligature to a door handle, throwing it over the door to the other side and hanging with your back against the door. In the majority of those cases, the person is standing or touching the floor with their feet so it's still considered partial.

I think there's also something telling about both methods. With full suspension, you could infer the person was brave and courageous enough to commit to their decision to drop from their step/stool. They were so desperate to die they took the approach that you cannot back out from.

And equally with partial suspension, you could infer this person was so desperate to end their life, even though they had the option to back out if they wanted to, they didn't and it shows their full intent to CTB.

That's how I see it anyway

Fair enough - to be honest, I'm partly going with FULL because I'm lazy and can't be bothered to learn the partial technique - I don't really want to have to think about what I'm doing; carrying out my own death, so I'd rather just fall into a situation I can't escape from and be done with it, but that's where the sedation comes in; like you, I'm petrified of the FULL hang panic - but if I'm quite drunk, and I fall because chemicals are making me fall asleep, I'm hoping I won't be aware of much - maybe I'll be panicking somewhat, but not really knowing what the hell's going on, hopefully! Maybe I've misjudged this and it will all go terribly wrong, but I know I can't cope with trying techniques in my room, and really THINKING about what I'm doing - because I know I don't really want to die, I just want to live pain-free.

 

[Mr. Incapable]

Fair enough - to be honest, I'm partly going with FULL because I'm lazy and can't be bothered to learn the partial technique - I don't really want to have to think about what I'm doing; carrying out my own death, so I'd rather just fall into a situation I can't escape from and be done with it, but that's where the sedation comes in; like you, I'm petrified of the FULL hang panic - but if I'm quite drunk, and I fall because chemicals are making me fall asleep, I'm hoping I won't be aware of much - maybe I'll be panicking somewhat, but not really knowing what the hell's going on, hopefully! Maybe I've misjudged this and it will all go terribly wrong, but I know I can't cope with trying techniques in my room, and really THINKING about what I'm doing - because I know I don't really want to die, I just want to live pain-free.

I get that. That's totally valid. I often wish I hadn't read as much as I have or learned about the different factors and functions of suicides - it would've been so much easier if I had just done it 'blind' without any knowledge or expectations about what will happen - I sometimes wish I had done it when I was in my teens when I was more impulsive - but I can't change the past and everything I've experienced until now has influenced my current decision. I don't have any sedatives but at one point I was considering combining CO poisoning (charcoal burning) with hanging so it would make me fall unconscious to hang and if one doesn't kill me then the other will. I have a few worries with the charcoal though, mainly if it's still potent or toxic to whoever will find me so I plan on necking a bottle of wine instead. Alcohol is technically a sedative so hopefully it'll give me a little extra courage and confidence to finally get it done. The majority of my previous attempts were sober