Help Gathering the courage

[foreverandever]

I'm sorry again for what's likely a common topic. I'm absolutely miserable and worthless, and I want nothing more than to ctb and get it all over with. Get away from this worthless life. Despite that, I never take any concrete steps toward it. I just keep going through the motions, complaining about my life, but never actually working towards ending it all.

Those of you who have made attempts: could I ask for your advice? How do I actually gather what I need and make an attempt?

Sorry for the bother, and thanks for reading.

 

[Midnightkitty]

In my admittedly limited experience, it depends on the method more than anything. Gathering what you need can be as simple as finding a spot high enough and getting there, or could involve accessing stuff like the dark web and ordering the right concoction of whatever substances you plan on using to ctb. Entirely depends on your plan.

My life has felt incredibly stagnant lately as well. Always open to chat if you end up wanting to vent those feelings more

 

[Dontwant2Bhere]

I feel the same way. I wonder if benzos help shut off survival instinct in the brain? Got to be a way to do this s***...

 

[Reza_Kayvan]

What I do to gain more courage is I SH, and each time I do that, I make sure my wounds are worse and worse. At the beginning, I didn't have the courage to hurt myself at all, but slowly after practicing with kitchen knives, which are pretty dull, I moved on to a box cutter, and I used it to cut myself, but not too deep. I was really proud of myself when I first did this, even though the cuts weren't anything major. Slowly I just gained more courage, and I started making more cuts and deeper ones. This will go on until I gain enough courage to CTB, but yeah, if you keep being consistent with your progress, your fear goes away slowly. You don't have to rush it. I'm not suggesting you should SH. Also, my advice could also work for other situations; if you make slow progress slowly, your fear will eventually disappear and so on, but yeah, hopefully this helps. Hope you have a great day!!!!

 

[trudeaufox]

I'm sorry again for what's likely a common topic. I'm absolutely miserable and worthless, and I want nothing more than to ctb and get it all over with. Get away from this worthless life. Despite that, I never take any concrete steps toward it. I just keep going through the motions, complaining about my life, but never actually working towards ending it all.

Those of you who have made attempts: could I ask for your advice? How do I actually gather what I need and make an attempt?

Sorry for the bother, and thanks for reading.

I relate to this heavy. I feel like i'm currently on my last year of being alive. I have a method, a quick and easy one. But despite that, I'm still hesitant. Only because fear is holding me back, but my constant suicidal thoughts get in my way terribly. (During work, when I'm just trying to relax etc.) I want to figure out something that'll turn off all survival instincts. I've heard that people tend to drink alcohol, but even if I wanted to try that I can't. (Legal drinking age is 21) And as someone who's very close to 20, I really don't want to be 20 and it's one of the main reasons why I consider this year to be my last. I hope I can overcome this fear soon.