ohsosleepy
Is that something I ought to do?
- Feb 9, 2026
- 32
Early tomorrow morning, I'll be ingesting SN. I hope this will be my last attempt, in whatever way that may be.
Maybe a whole goodbye thread for me is a little self important, considering I haven't been here very long or contributed much, lol. Maybe it can just be for documentation.
My protocol is as follows:
2am - 10g metoclopramide
10am - 10g metoclopramide
6pm - 10g metoclopramide
7pm - Start dry fast
2am - 10g metoclopramide, 400mg ibuprofen
3am - 25g SN in 50ml water
No backup just in case things go wrong and I'm wheeled off to the hospital. I don't have much SN and I don't want to go through the pain of getting it again, especially now. I'm banking everything on this meto to keep me from throwing up, haha. We will see whether or not that is a mistake on my part!!
It still doesn't feel fully real to me, even when I actively take steps to prepare for it. I feel anxious, relieved, excited, and scared all at once. There are lots of things I'll miss, but I don't really have it in me to do anything about it right now. The last couple weeks have been tolerable, and even fun, but it's not something I can sustain.
If I have the energy, I want to use the time before I take the SN to get dolled up for the occasion. I don't really know the reason why I wanted to do that in the first place anymore, but it might be fun. I'll listen to some music too. Maybe it will help me gather the strength to willingly drink poison.
Maybe a whole goodbye thread for me is a little self important, considering I haven't been here very long or contributed much, lol. Maybe it can just be for documentation.
My protocol is as follows:
2am - 10g metoclopramide
10am - 10g metoclopramide
6pm - 10g metoclopramide
7pm - Start dry fast
2am - 10g metoclopramide, 400mg ibuprofen
3am - 25g SN in 50ml water
No backup just in case things go wrong and I'm wheeled off to the hospital. I don't have much SN and I don't want to go through the pain of getting it again, especially now. I'm banking everything on this meto to keep me from throwing up, haha. We will see whether or not that is a mistake on my part!!
It still doesn't feel fully real to me, even when I actively take steps to prepare for it. I feel anxious, relieved, excited, and scared all at once. There are lots of things I'll miss, but I don't really have it in me to do anything about it right now. The last couple weeks have been tolerable, and even fun, but it's not something I can sustain.
If I have the energy, I want to use the time before I take the SN to get dolled up for the occasion. I don't really know the reason why I wanted to do that in the first place anymore, but it might be fun. I'll listen to some music too. Maybe it will help me gather the strength to willingly drink poison.
peace and love to you, my friend
