Discussion Describe how your day is going

[Squiddy]

Today was ok. I fucked up by scheduling my Nissan car for an oil change online at a Ford place, but they were able to do it and didn't charge too much. I also tried to get my friend to meet up with me so I could get an edible, but they never texted me back so idk what's going on with that.

 

[Lilacmoon]

I have to die please. I can't take it in my head anymore. I can't take being me anymore. Make it stop.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

My day has been complete and utter dog shit.

 

[Squiddy]

My day has been complete and utter dog shit.

What happened?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

What happened?

Just one of those days where the entire world is against me, more so than the usual.

 

[Squiddy]

Just one of those days where the entire world is against me, more so than the usual.

damn

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I had a dream about being 20 again and it was so realistic it took me a while to realize it wasn't real. And now it hurts so much, I just can't force myself out of bed. I don't want this reality.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i still want to punch my sister. she just pushes all of her chores onto me, despite being the older of us two. i have no positive feelings towards that bitch. if she packed up all her things and fucked off, i'd be over the moon.

 

[Lordsudbury]

I'm preparing to go back to Canada tomorrow for a 14 day self isolation so I am just getting mentally prepared to lose my mind even further than it is gone now. So just trying to enjoy my last day at my mom's in Mexico now. It will be good.

 

[llerutem5]

I just got so fucked up to take a brake and go online because nothing works out right for days when I wanted to go outside for a late summers trip it's all raining for days and all my backpack got wet my floor is wet too so couldn't even do the laundry and everything else because it wouldn't dry up in the air and corona doesn't make staying at home nice either, despite enough to do but everyone is pissed so no peace either.

 

[Deleted member 19654]

I feel really sad and I can't stop crying. Stupid hormones.

 

[Squiddy]

Today was okay. Suicidal thoughts were there, but I mainly bing watched Naruto Shippuden

 

[Time Travel]

HORRIBLY BAD

 

[Nem]

Today was not unlike a shit sandwich without the bread. I barely got out of bed, just long enough to eat and then went back to bed. This is fucked up

peace/hugs

 

[PartingGlass]

All day I was tormented by thoughts about people I once cared about who probably don't even remember my name. That's almost every day for me now. Only thing I can do to fight the thoughts is either drink or get high. Makes me forget what a piece of shit I am.

 

[_Kaira_]

Worst it's ever been. I need to ctb so bad, but i'm trapped with no way to safely do so. I can't even hide it anymore.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Found out my husband is sexting and sending pics to someone else. Maybe he is ready to lose me. My decision may have gotten a little easier.

 

[AJ95]

It's been bad since I woke up :/

Had to get up earlier than I wanted to, read some things online that hurt to see, since then I've spent the day trying not to think about the fact that my life is falling apart.

Now it's 9:10pm and I'm trying to repair microsoft word so that I can maybe try and get this assignment in that's due at midnight.

It's so tiring being tired.

 

[Squiddy]

Found out my husband is sexting and sending pics to someone else. Maybe he is ready to lose me. My decision may have gotten a little easier.

He sounds like a piece of shit

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm really nervous because today I should find out news that might keep me trying to live or finally push me to ctb.

I'm really nervous because today I should find out news that might keep me trying to live or finally push me to ctb.

Looks like I'm going to be finally pushed to ctb....I'm so done with this life

 

[Squiddy]

Tonight has been good to me. Since being high, I've had no ctb thoughts at all. Everything seems beautiful. Whenever I think of my incompetence, all I think is I don't care

 

[Lilacmoon]

Thread revival time I guess.

It feels like my mind is breaking. I just want to reach out and vent and scream. But I also deserve to have this weird mental break (is it a breakdown? I'm oddly lucid.) and to suffer and spiral so I don't have the right to vent so I just want to isolate myself and drown in it. I deserve my problems and others have it worse, what right do I have to complain?

But also I'm complaining right now. I'm really the worst. I'm sure it's not even that bad. What am I complaining about?

 

[greebo6]

Started off bad as usual , then got a bit better and then got worse again.
Not an unusual pattern in terms of how I generally feel.

 

[Pho3nix]

It's been an endlessly boring day like every shitty day during this shitty lockdown. I can't believe that I was once healthy and with loads of freedom.

Now it's the same boring cycle of meds, food and sleep. I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow but sadly I know I will. Rinse and repeat over and over again...

 

[Weightoftheworld]

I was able to see/assist with a lot of wounds today, so I actually enjoyed my day.

 

[Lilacmoon]

I'm receiving a lot of kindness from someone I care about but constantly doubting if I really deserve it.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I found a new desk (which I was actually looking for, how cool is that?), a disabled walker and a new friend, all abandoned in back alleys. My knew friend had a brief spin in the washing machine and now he's drying out on the window ledge.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Pretty bad...just waiting on whether I'll *try* to live or ctb. I'm prepared though. I took too much of my meds on purpose to feel numb.

 

[http-410]

In the morning I rode my horse bike through the wet, autumn forest listening to Skyrim OST. It would've been nice if it felt real. Since I woke up too early, the dissociation was uncomfortable as a result. I saw two dead slowworms, one of them was cut in half.

I went to a secluded spot to call a helpline, but they were busy which made me quite down. Went back home and took a nap next to my snoring pet. In the evening I went for a walk and tried again to call the helpline and someone picked up.

I was surprised about the open point of view of the operator. They said that it's a decision that can be made and isn't morally reprehensible. They didn't tell me anything new, but they confirmed my point of view. We even talked about methods.

On the other hand it frustrates me. It seems to me that many people agree that people are allowed to kill themselves, maybe even in mental health sector. So why do they make it so difficult?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Pretty bad...just waiting on whether I'll *try* to live or ctb. I'm prepared though. I took too much of my meds on purpose to feel numb.

I'm sorry you feel like that @Raven Moon My PMs are always open if you want to unload.

In the morning I rode my horse bike through the wet, autumn forest listening to Skyrim OST. It would've been nice if it felt real. Since I woke up too early, the dissociation was uncomfortable as a result. I saw two dead slowworms, one of them was cut in half.

I went to a secluded spot to call a helpline, but they were busy which made me quite down. Went back home and took a nap next to my snoring pet. In the evening I went for a walk and tried again to call the helpline and someone picked up.

I was surprised about the open point of view of the operator. They said that it's a decision that can be made and isn't morally reprehensible. They didn't tell me anything new, but they confirmed my point of view. We even talked about methods.

On the other hand it frustrates me. It seems to me that many people agree that people are allowed to kill themselves, maybe even in mental health sector. So why do they make it so difficult?

I think many people at the pointy end do indeed sympathise, they are just limited by their duty of care and 'the company line.' I've had a similar experience with The Samaritans. I know they take some flack on here, but I found them very sympathetic.