Discussion What stops you from ending yourself right now?

[NoHorizon]

My nephews. They're very young and adore me, and the thought of destroying their childhoods with my suicide breaks my heart. I wish I could erase people's memories of me, but I realise that having a loving family is a privilege that should make life more worth living.

 

[Ineedtodie]

Suicide is brutal and have to be discret, hard to go through. We are wired to survive . Anxiety meds help me cope in the meanwhile and I have this dream of creating my own sanctuary. Its an intention in my head that hasn't collided with the real world. I need to exhaust this optiopn first. No idea of the blockages that will occure in my way but I' m a bit hopefull. How false is this hope. Will see

 

[Ineedtodie]

Idk anymore. I sleep alot.( Sleeping pills)

 

[MovingOn]

I'm literally waiting for my SN to arrive. I don't do anything in life any more except browse suicide related content; I look forward to my death, but I'm too much of a pussy to go a painful route. I'm also trying to "exhaust all options". I'm still forcing myself to consume media, eat tasty food, bla bla bla. But I don't care for any of it, except the food. And what, am I going to remain alive in a shit existence because of mouth pleasure?

 

[etherealdemise]

I don't have the money to buy what I need... that's really all it is.

 

[Idkaho2]

I don't have the money to buy what I need... that's really all it is.

Nanako? I guess Rei's death hit you hard.

 

[PaperGodzilla]

My friends, i'm 24, most of my friends are between 22-30 i'm still able to realize that i matter to them and it just make me feel sick to imagine for 1 second how they would feel if i was dead. Those thought are kind of life saving but they also make me suffer

 

[No longer suicidal😁]

Timing, I live with my parents and siblings. I will do it once they're all out of the house.

 

[Ultracheese]

The (perhaps misguided) belief that my best friend wouldn't want me to die just to be with him again.

 

[ResignationFromLife]

My girlfriend and family

 

[Wannabehappy]

Waiting for the SN delivery, a few little things I want to finish, clean the house, pack my stuff so no one has to do it for me.

 

[Ineedtodie]

I" m on too much pills to ended it. beside ctb in my parent house doesn't sit right with me. Unless I do it impulsively.

 

[Himalayan]

Don't have the means...

 

[ryo the frog]

the people who'd mourn me…. heavily

 

[MidnightDream]

My husband. My degree. My parents - They'd never move forward. My likely naivety that I'll recover

 

[affinity]

My mother

My cats

Delusional optimism that that "thing" might happen and turn my life around

The fear that death will be like a bad trip I had on mushrooms. It was so terrifying. It felt like someone/something was warning me that this is what would happen if I did do what I was planning.

It was super strange, because my first trip was pleasant. The second was bad. All I remember was feeling pure terror and saw this white flash of light beyond my bedroom door and then there I was in pitch black nothing. I had lost my body, but my consciousness was still present and it was just a consistent loop of thoughts where it was like I kept asking questions, but no one would answer. I became terrified and remember saying, "Okay, okay, I won't follow through". At that point my conscious mind started intervening where I kept saying, "You're name
Is …. You live at….. You're in your bed" in a loop and finally I came to. It took me 48 hours to shake it. It still bothers me.

I know substances are different for everyone, but I've seen a couple of people suggest they'll take shrooms or even DMT to counteract SI. One thing I can say is that DMT would be the last drug I'd take for that purpose because it is so hard to figure out the right dose, it's over quickly & further it is supposed to be what your body releases as it's dying. Your body becomes like a radio that just stops taking signals. The experience isn't going to make you feel at ease, I'll tell you that. It positively terrifies many folks and for those who don't mind, they end up taking more and more and it can put you in a very bad place mentally.

That is my Ted Talk for the day. There is a YouTube channel called PsychedSubstances that discusses it further if you're interested

 

[stilhavinightmares]

Can't get a full 8-12 hours alone.

 

[Zegers]

It might get better tomorrow.

thats what i though 10y ago

 

[fallenflower]

One person

 

[StrangePossum]

the thought of my parents seeing my dead body and getting traumatized

 

[Rairii]

Right now, I guess my cat as silly as it may be. She's all I have and I guess I'm all she has though technically she could easily have someone else. She stopped me earlier last week when she got in my lap, I thought that I wanted just a little more time cuddling her. It doesn't make it any easier to live but the cuddle sure was nice.

 

[onestringviolin]

My online friends. Last Tuesday, I thought I would CTB, so I messaged my closest friends that I love and appreciate them very much and began preparing. I ended up stopping out of fear. My friends had been very worried, and seeing how much they cared about me caused a high that lasted until the next day. I realized I can't stand the thought of hurting them, so I've decided to try to stay around for them.

Another thing is that I can't stand the thought of making my parents look at my dead body. Their only child, dead before them - it's too heartbreaking.

 

[nozomu]

Guilt, a lack of planning, and a lack of N.

 

[Wannagonow]

Oddly enough, my dog. I absolutely adore her. She's the only living thing I see and talk to every day. She comforts me on my really sad days. I've delicately asked two friends if they'd take her if something happened to me. They're on to me. Duh. They said no- they already have a house full of pets. But they would bring her to a shelter. Nope. Alot of guilt and sadness at that thought. So, right now she's my reason. Silly...but it is what it is. I'm okay with that- for now.

 

[Fulminare]

I just don't wanna die alone.

 

[Lonerzepam]

I just don't wanna die alone.

Most people do unfortunetely. Ctb or not...
My sister mainly and $uicideboy$ releasing their new Album "DiertiestNastiest$uicide" on the 16 Dez. Sounds like a great day to ctb haha. But it really keeps me going for atleast a few more days

 

[Mixxd]

Lack of a quick & somewhat painless method, my family, & not knowing what happens next. I'm slowly getting over that last one though

 

[LivideLamb]

Only my dog, I don't know who could take care of him.

 

[MissingThyme]

The financial drain on the people around me. The example it would set and people feeling like they failed me.

 

[Shadow Life]

I have what I need to be safe, fed, warm, and clothed. I know that I can overcome challenges - I'm still here, after all. I live life one day at a time, in the present moment, and I focus on what I am grateful for having instead of focusing on what I do not. Our attitude is everything.