Story Off my chest: I finally stood up to my sister today

[slamjoetry]

So here's some context: I'm in my twenties and my sister is in her thirties. I love my sister but I've always held a certain amount of resentment against her. She's very argumentative, addicted to internet discourse, and HATES men with a strong passion (despite being married to one). When I was a kid, I really internalized that, and I hated myself for being born a man. I saw myself as inherently irredeemable, and it contributed to my suicidal depression. And if I ever said anything against her, then I was just "mansplaining" and she would treat my feelings as invalid. It was so bad that for a while, I wanted to cut my own penis off and become a woman just to earn her respect. She has also always nagged me about all of my friendships and relationships and how I'm naive and let people walk all over me.

We're adults now and I've grown up a lot. I still have suicidal depression but it's not nearly as bad, and I've become able to be confident in myself and comfortable in my male body. My sister however is still the same. Still spewing hatred nonstop towards anyone and everyone that doesn't fit her standards. And lately I've stopped tolerating it. The other day, she was bragging to me about how she used to have men take her on dates just to get them to pay for things and then she would block them afterwards. And she said this like it was cool, or funny, or in any way feminist. Thankfully in the past few years, I've gotten the chance to talk with REAL feminists who work hard to improve the world for both women and men, so now I can see my sister's behavior for the bullshit it is. And I called her out on it. I told her how bitter and hateful she is, how it has always affected me, and how I'm going to increase my distance with her if she doesn't make a change.

I don't want to distance myself from my own sister. I still love her despite everything but I just couldn't let everything continue on like this. And the thing is, it felt GOOD. After decades of letting her tell me what I am and how I should feel, it felt so liberating to finally speak my mind. She hasn't responded to me yet but I'm not planning on budging. I'm a man, and I'm valid. And I'm just as deserving of respect as anyone else. And I won't let her bully me just for the genitals I have anymore.

Always stick up for yourself, bros and gals (and everything in between). Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, especially over traits that you didn't choose.

 

[DownwardSpiral]

wow, great job! thats very brave

 

[slamjoetry]

wow, great job! thats very brave

Thanks bub. Do you wanna come to my birthday party? My mom says we can't drink pop though

 

[DownwardSpiral]

Thanks bub. Do you wanna come to my birthday party? My mom says we can't drink pop though

of course! what are we drinking then?

 

[slamjoetry]

of course! what are we drinking then?

ALL OF THIS

 

[DownwardSpiral]

WOOO LETS DO IT

 

[Knives_14]

It's so sad when a noble cause like feminism gets tainted by these kind of behaviours.
You did good and i hope she gets to reflect on it =]

 

[EscThisPlace321]

So here's some context: I'm in my twenties and my sister is in her thirties. I love my sister but I've always held a certain amount of resentment against her. She's very argumentative, addicted to internet discourse, and HATES men with a strong passion (despite being married to one). When I was a kid, I really internalized that, and I hated myself for being born a man. I saw myself as inherently irredeemable, and it contributed to my suicidal depression. And if I ever said anything against her, then I was just "mansplaining" and she would treat my feelings as invalid. It was so bad that for a while, I wanted to cut my own penis off and become a woman just to earn her respect. She has also always nagged me about all of my friendships and relationships and how I'm naive and let people walk all over me.

We're adults now and I've grown up a lot. I still have suicidal depression but it's not nearly as bad, and I've become able to be confident in myself and comfortable in my male body. My sister however is still the same. Still spewing hatred nonstop towards anyone and everyone that doesn't fit her standards. And lately I've stopped tolerating it. The other day, she was bragging to me about how she used to have men take her on dates just to get them to pay for things and then she would block them afterwards. And she said this like it was cool, or funny, or in any way feminist. Thankfully in the past few years, I've gotten the chance to talk with REAL feminists who work hard to improve the world for both women and men, so now I can see my sister's behavior for the bullshit it is. And I called her out on it. I told her how bitter and hateful she is, how it has always affected me, and how I'm going to increase my distance with her if she doesn't make a change.

I don't want to distance myself from my own sister. I still love her despite everything but I just couldn't let everything continue on like this. And the thing is, it felt GOOD. After decades of letting her tell me what I am and how I should feel, it felt so liberating to finally speak my mind. She hasn't responded to me yet but I'm not planning on budging. I'm a man, and I'm valid. And I'm just as deserving of respect as anyone else. And I won't let her bully me just for the genitals I have anymore.

Always stick up for yourself, bros and gals (and everything in between). Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, especially over traits that you didn't choose.

I really appreciate your post. I'm going through the exact same thing with someone trying to like abuse and mistreat and talk shit to me 24/7. I'm totally over it...its like the voices in my head just torment me and talk shit to me 24/7 and I'm kinda over it. I'm just over all this bullshit and I just wanna get out of this. I'm trying to source nembutal in Peru and hopefully I find it. If i do find it I'm totally just fucking leaving this situation because its complete and total bullshit.

 

[violetforever]

The other day, she was bragging to me about how she used to have men take her on dates just to get them to pay for things and then she would block them afterwards. And she said this like it was cool, or funny, or in any way feminist.

this is really lame to be bragging about at all but especially in ur 30s when married. no its not cool or feminist at all and i hate that feminism gets reduced to stuff like this.

 

[enjoytheride]

So here's some context: I'm in my twenties and my sister is in her thirties. I love my sister but I've always held a certain amount of resentment against her. She's very argumentative, addicted to internet discourse, and HATES men with a strong passion (despite being married to one). When I was a kid, I really internalized that, and I hated myself for being born a man. I saw myself as inherently irredeemable, and it contributed to my suicidal depression. And if I ever said anything against her, then I was just "mansplaining" and she would treat my feelings as invalid. It was so bad that for a while, I wanted to cut my own penis off and become a woman just to earn her respect. She has also always nagged me about all of my friendships and relationships and how I'm naive and let people walk all over me.

We're adults now and I've grown up a lot. I still have suicidal depression but it's not nearly as bad, and I've become able to be confident in myself and comfortable in my male body. My sister however is still the same. Still spewing hatred nonstop towards anyone and everyone that doesn't fit her standards. And lately I've stopped tolerating it. The other day, she was bragging to me about how she used to have men take her on dates just to get them to pay for things and then she would block them afterwards. And she said this like it was cool, or funny, or in any way feminist. Thankfully in the past few years, I've gotten the chance to talk with REAL feminists who work hard to improve the world for both women and men, so now I can see my sister's behavior for the bullshit it is. And I called her out on it. I told her how bitter and hateful she is, how it has always affected me, and how I'm going to increase my distance with her if she doesn't make a change.

I don't want to distance myself from my own sister. I still love her despite everything but I just couldn't let everything continue on like this. And the thing is, it felt GOOD. After decades of letting her tell me what I am and how I should feel, it felt so liberating to finally speak my mind. She hasn't responded to me yet but I'm not planning on budging. I'm a man, and I'm valid. And I'm just as deserving of respect as anyone else. And I won't let her bully me just for the genitals I have anymore.

Always stick up for yourself, bros and gals (and everything in between). Never let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, especially over traits that you didn't choose.

You are being very brave and at the same time compassionate and gentle for standing up for yourself without destroying the bridge that unites you. One can tell you feel conflicted - love, on the one hand, and feeling fed up on the other. You did what you had to do and I think you should feel proud. Now it is up to your sister. Hopefully she will have a genuine reflection on what you told her and your bond will come out purer and stronger long-term. That's what I am rooting for!

Cheers

 

[UltraAlter]

So proud of you, bud.

 

[ladidabi]

Oh this is rough. I have a younger sister that seems very similar to your sister. I am not a guy though, but that kind of mindset is genuinely so exhausting.
You're brave for setting your foot down, especially when many tend to think it's okay because "it's family". Shutting down toxic behavior is also an act of love.