Discussion What stops you from ending yourself right now?

[ExtraItem]

Sounds kind of stupid but I have a goal weight I would like to reach and I'd apparently rather live than die fat and ugly. Hate the thought of someone seeing my deceased body and thinking "I can see why" even though I'd be dead and it wouldn't matter.

Plus, failure and possibly my siblings.

 

[thx1138]

I just want to get better. I just want to feel normal. It's all I ever wanted. I want relief from the mental torture. People told me to seek a doctor, so I did.

These desires are making me go to therapy, although it feels pointless. I'm giving it one more try.

 

[absolute]

My 2 year old grandson

 

[icantstopcoughing]

Im seeing my pets in a few weeks as they live with my parents so I need to be around to see my silly little ones, and my bf. But I have started not feeling that bad about attempting or sh ect.. like I've gone pretty numb so I'm not too sure how much longer they will keep me here.

 

[living once]

The few people in my life who I know still care

 

[Source Energy]

In no particular order:

1. lack of Nembutal - I am still fearful of failure with other methods
2. My mother
3. The regret and sadness of ending this life in total failure. There is a part of me who keeps fighting for some success, for the sense of winning.

 

[nembutal]

Sounds kind of stupid but I have a goal weight I would like to reach and I'd apparently rather live than die fat and ugly. Hate the thought of someone seeing my deceased body and thinking "I can see why" even though I'd be dead and it wouldn't matter.

Plus, failure and possibly my siblings.

thought i was the only one bru. except my gw is 20 lbs out and idk how fast i can get there without wanting to desperately end it beforehand

 

[ExtraItem]

thought i was the only one bru. except my gw is 20 lbs out and idk how fast i can get there without wanting to desperately end it beforehand

I believe in you! Unfortunately my gw is very far so I'm going to be here for a while too.

 

[phantomime]

I want to keep following and watching a Vtuber. She streams a lot so most of the time I have something to look forward to, when she takes breaks from it I usually get very lost and desperate without her to distract me from everything else. If one day she decides to stop streaming, singing and making art I believe that'd be my final straw...

 

[toro]

if i had the means to do it right now i dont think i could, im too worried about it possibly managing to traumatize my little brother. idk how ill work around this, hes like 10 right now, i guess im just hoping itll feel easier to do once hes older and like. idk. hes always gonna be my baby, id really hate to hurt him and its one of the main things keeping me around (for now at least lol)

 

[Chemical Animal]

There are three things keeping me from ending my existence atm:

-my parents, they're the only people that care about me and the only ones that I can consider as friends, my wish is to repay everything they've done for me;
-the results of my neuropsychological evaluation, I refuse to die before discovering what the hell is wrong with my brain;
-being constantly exhausted (physically and mentally), it takes me a ton of energy to do the most basic stuff, let alone planning my death.

 

[bijou]

- the fact i've been given the opportunity to pursue my dream job of working with feral cats
- my boyfriend, he will think it's his fault...
- the fact that if i go, my immediate family (sibling, mother, father) will be traumatized and ctb. it's very dark but we all have this weird unspoken, but very real, thing where we know if one of us goes, all of us do...

 

[movinout17]

- parents. They love me too damn much, they'll be devastated
- sisters. They'll suffer someway

 

[Ra4v]

My family. I know they care (maybe they're selfish and just love to have me alive?) I attempted suicide once and... well, it showed they care. I'm considering failing an attempt just to have that attention again (i won't, it's childish af, but i feel i can be honest here) just to feel truly loved. But then i see how preoccupied they were and that stops me, i feel ashamed everytime i remember how sad they were. Also my dog lol.

 

[Spiked_Coffee]

SI. All the time, every time. Tried several times (suspension hanging) and failed every time (luckily).

Dont really care about anything or anyone else because when i will be dead nothing will matter. If to think nothing and nobody matters anyway, we are all gonna die so what kind of difference my life, death or suicide will make? None.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

SI. All the time, every time. Tried several times (suspension hanging) and failed every time (luckily).

Dont really care about anything or anyone else because when i will be dead nothing will matter. If to think nothing and nobody matters anyway, we are all gonna die so what kind of difference my life, death or suicide will make? None.

When I'm really down, I also don't (or can't) care about my loved ones.

My answer may sound childish or delusional but...
I have an imaginary friend (or a tulpa) and she doesn't want to die. I can't murder her against her will...

 

[Spiked_Coffee]

When I'm really down, I also don't (or can't) care about my loved ones.

My answer may sound childish or delusional but...
I have an imaginary friend (or a tulpa) and she doesn't want to die. I can't murder her against her will...

Its kinda cute and beautiful really, i love it. I dont have such a strong imagination to do such stuff and i wish i could have such a friend.
For me its like your imaginary friend is your other part of "You"(personality or self) which subconsciously doesnt really want to die.

 

[LowlyBoy]

My cat. I don't want him to wonder where I went :(

 

[StrawberryBlood]

For me it's the very few people close to me. I wouldn't want to be the cause of someone else's debilitating depression. I want other people to be happy. I don't want to cause pain.

 

[WantsToJumpAlready]

Traumatizing my best friend and my cats - that's it really

 

[FadingSunshine]

It seems so selfish to me, if I were to kill myself the huge negative wave it would have on my family, so many people care about me but I don't care about myself. I wish I could leave without anyone caring.

 

[qwert3948]

i'm not actively suicidal right now, honestly have 0 motivation to cbt but i also wish i was dead.
honestly don't have any other special reasons for it. i don't have anyone or anything i love enough that it'd stop me if i was highly suicidal

 

[uselessness]

Sadly, I don't know if my family or my friends love me enough to be a reason not to CTB. I know they care about me a bit, but I'm paranoid that they don'. I live on in a sad existence, and I restrain myself out of pure spite to people I genuinely hate. I say that one day, things will get better.

 

[brainwormz]

The only thing that stops me is knowing how often suicide attempts fail. I'd really rather not have more brain damage than I already have. Also, I don't know if anyone has mentioned this before, but slitting your wrist is a lot harder than it looks on TV.

 

[venua]

For me it's my mother. I've already attempted before and I saw how sad she was. Didn't know how much she loved me until after that.

It's my partner. Knowing that if I do CTB, I'll never be able to feel his touch. I'll never be able to kiss him, and he'll never be able to kiss me. I won't have those intimate moments with him, and neither would he.
Among other things, just the pain of it. Not only for me, but my family & friends.

 

[Freyja13]

I'm genuinely not actively suicidal rn. I mean I have passive thoughts sure but no will to act on my plan. Mostly worried about making it to work tmr. I'm sure once the winter comes I'll wanna kill myself again though lmao xD

 

[3xplo]

- hope to live till Technological Singularity that should change the world massively
- no easy access to fast/guaranteed ctb method