Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[secretghost]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

I'm feeling a weird mix of denial and acceptance as part of my brain is fixed on making final prep, one part is grieving, and one part is just really happy to get to get ice cream today. I'm thinking also about the phrase catch the bus and it's become sort of a visual that I have all the time of my bus coming to get me with a set ticket time

 

[777cave]

Been thinking I'm not only not good for the world, but I'm actually a detriment.

 

[Soulless_Death]

I'm feeling sad.

 

[fleetingnight]

I don't know how to talk about sadness or emotions at all anymore. I feel like a bad person, but me and my friends basically avoid the subject. I just don't know what to say. My true opinion is "it will never get better and there's no hope." Most people don't react to that opinion well. And maybe it sounds weird coming from me, but I don't want to encourage them to kill themselves. But I'm not good at telling convincing lies, either. I don't know what to do about it. This is the only place I feel like I can be honest about how I feel. I still feel like a burden sometimes, but that feeling is muted enough here that I can tolerate it. Vent threads are made for venting, so I can convince myself to speak. Anywhere else, I feel like I'm being selfish and dragging everyone down. Still, I wish I knew how to talk to my friends about their feelings at least. Hopefully, they can all find a better person to talk to, at least.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I don't know how to talk about sadness or emotions at all anymore. I feel like a bad person, but me and my friends basically avoid the subject. I just don't know what to say. My true opinion is "it will never get better and there's no hope." Most people don't react to that opinion well. And maybe it sounds weird coming from me, but I don't want to encourage them to kill themselves. But I'm not good at telling convincing lies, either. I don't know what to do about it. This is the only place I feel like I can be honest about how I feel. I still feel like a burden sometimes, but that feeling is muted enough here that I can tolerate it. Vent threads are made for venting, so I can convince myself to speak. Anywhere else, I feel like I'm being selfish and dragging everyone down. Still, I wish I knew how to talk to my friends about their feelings at least. Hopefully, they can all find a better person to talk to, at least.

You're not a burden to me. I've read your posts before and I think you're a good person. I'm always willing to lend an ear to a friend like you.

 

[Vlad Tepes]

Empty.

 

[Grog]

I am cozy~

 

[Soulless_Death]

I'm still feeling so depressed.

 

[Grog]

I'm feeling bold today lol~

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I'm feeling bold today lol~

One might say bold...and BRASH.

 

[Grog]

One might say bold...and BRASH.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

If it makes you feel better, Bold and Brash became one of Squidward's most popular pieces! Vindication!
Also that art buying fish is an asshole anyway.

 

[Grog]

I feel sad again. Profoundly sad.
I see couples being cute together, cuddling and giving each other Eskimo kisses, giggling and just enjoying each others' company…
I miss having that connection with someone…
I miss cuddling… I miss being touched. It's been so long now…

No one wants to be with someone who doesn't make a lot of money, so I stay single. I don't blame anyone though. Love doesn't put a roof over your head…

 

[Doll Steak]

I feel peaceful with a weird sense of anxiety dread and depression in the back of my mind, but its like its to scared to show itself right now. I don't know why. It feels like its creeping up more as I type this. I've got something to look forward to tomorrow, hopefully its not a depressed mood day, I cant even tell what I'm feeling anymore sometimes.

 

[CutToRelease]

My scars are itchy but that just makes me want to cut more cause the pain is more prevalent that the itching. Only then when the new wounds start healing then they will itch to. I'm tired. Still itchy.

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

Anxious, but honestly, better than most days

 

[EvisceratedJester]

First off, I apologize for my last post in this thread. Sometimes when I feel like shit I have the urge to lash out a bit. I've had multiple instances in the past where I've felt the urge to make comments about hating people on here purely for the sake of getting myself in trouble or even getting myself banned. Don't know why. This isn't meant to be an excuse, btw. What I said was inexcusable and I shouldn't be projecting my issues onto others because that is unfair. That was the first time that I decided to act on those urges a little bit and it will be the last.

Secondly, I want to lash out so badly and I can't. I want to self-destruct so badly and I can't and it's making me feel awful. I sometimes find myself also alternating between wanting to see my counsellor and wanting to stop seeing them and claiming to be fine, even when I am not. I hate this so much. On one hand, I do like having someone I talk to outside of family since it is nice, but on the other hand I fucking hate it for some reason. It's not their fault. They are actually very nice and good at their job. I don't get why I'm always like this. I have no good reason to be like this. I fucking hate it. I wish I were dead.

In other news, I am also 99.9 percent sure I came across a YouTube comment from somebody on here. They mentioned their username in their comment, for some reason. At first, I was confused and thought that maybe it was just a common username or something, which led me to look up said name to see what the name was a reference to. That then led me to discover someone's account on a site for writing (not going to name the site for privacy reasons), with the n-word with a hard r being used in one of their posts. I was confused and thought to myself that it surely couldn't be the case that this person was also a user on here, until I came across a post where they directly quoted two members on here with links to the original posts. Honestly, I'm not surprised by this member holding incredibly shitty views, nor by their use of the n-word, considering their posts on here, but it was surprising to spot them outside of SaSu.

Anyways, I'm going to go back to wanting to rip my skin off again.

 

[farewell_to_my_mask]

i feel sick. not in like a cold or flu type of way. just like a suffocating feeling. i feel nauseous but also not at the same time. i dont have many friends or anyone at all really. my family doesnt really care to listen. writing me off as just an introvert or a hermit, or whatever else they want to call me. summer supposed to be a fun time but i just feel miserable constantly. my body aches every time i get up and most times i have to use a lot of energy just t get out of bed, and even that doesnt work most of the time.

 

[wham311]

Fed the fuck up. I am fucking hideous to the point where I can't work, and physically unfit, and I can't do a fucking thing abiut it.

It would take two years of perfection to get back in shape and that's not gonna happen because I have no job and all I can do is eat to increase dopamine.

It is hot as fucking shit outside and I'm sick of being locked in that fucking house. I am livid my mom won't help me ctb and I know that's irrational. But I'm just so fucking frustrated. I can do fucking nothing about this. All I have to do all day is deliver food twice a day to people who literally will not respond and look away when I talk to them, and then come home and rot in frustration and knowing I'm going to be homeless soon.

I am OVER THIS. FICKING KILL ME. I DO NOT ENJOY A SINGLE SECOND OF RHE DAY OR NIGHT. IT IS ALL MISERABLE.

Wish it was as easy as just walking as far as you can and dying, your mind really starts playing tricks on you when you get this deep

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Hurt, and a little angry, and a little humiliated.

 

[wham311]

Can't get a job, have to ctb

Can't ctb, have to find a job

Repeat forever

I am so miserable all the time that my brain is obsessed with killing myself and I just cannot, I am completely disfunctional. Every room I walk in I walk out of because I feel so bad there and hoping to move to a new place changed my mood but it doesn't.

Getting a job would make me feel good about myself. And I can't. And it actually wouldn't make me feel good about myself because I'm poison to be aeound and people are incredibly put off by my appearance and personality that it makes me want to dieb100x as bad.

My body has fallen apart. I am in insufferable mental emotional and physical pain. I wish there was a death store, id go there right now. Or a backwards stork to take me back into nothingness

Nothing would make me happier than my mom saying "I figured out a way to get you into pegasos, were leaving tomorrow". I would be so excited.

 

[Nothing Left]

Thinking of going to school for mortuary science to be a funeral director/embalmer.

I was originally apprehensive about getting into more student loans, but I figure if I go back to school with the assumption that I'll be dead by the time I finish, either by cancer or my own hand, then there will be nothing to worry about, and at least I'll have shit to do in the mean time.

 

[777cave]

Numb, a bit detached, pretending to care. Knowing deep in my bones that nothing really matters because I won't be around anyway.
Going through the motions.

 

[S like Siren]

Ho molta paura,mi sento male e non ho nessuno con cui parlare.
Mi sento molto sola.
Stringo il bracciale di Nathan con tutte le mie forze.

 

[Bad Karma]

everything feels dulled, like the volume has been turned down on the world. faces blur, voices echo, my own reflection looks like a stranger who knows too much. i blink and time skips forward. i eat, i talk, i move through rooms, but there is no weight to any of it. nothing lands. nothing sticks. it is like my body is just a shell i am borrowing.

 

[Cavalcade]

Very pettily vindicated by the fact that things are falling apart in my absence.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I'm so tired of being nice; people will talk at me about all of the shit bothering them. It'll go on, and on, and on. They never have that moment of clarity where they think, 'Oh, maybe I shouldn't use this person as my therapist.'

 

[Unbearable Mr. Bear]

I'm so tired of being nice; people will talk at me about all of the shit bothering them. It'll go on, and on, and on. They never have that moment of clarity where they think, 'Oh, maybe I shouldn't use this person as my therapist.'

Maybe they're waiting for you to make them your therapist?

 

[Dejected 55]

Painful headache mixed with waves of nausea, the same as most mornings. I don't usually take painkillers for the headache because I think I deserve the pain, and if I'm honest the headache pain masks some of the inner emotional pain that I also always have. I have no energy, my arms feel heavy, and I have no will to even get out of bed, though I do. Most of the time I stay up all night and go to bed at 6-7am and then sleep until 3-5pm. If this were winter time I would not see much of the sun most weeks. I am almost to the point of being close enough to count down the days until my final exit.

 

[wham311]

Life is excrutiating.

I really, really really wish someone would put me out of my misery. Site needs a hit man. World needs maid.