Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[star.trip]

I always try to help others but I recognize that I have a hard time getting someone to help me. I don't know, it's like I feel I don't deserve it because I make so many mistakes. And the fear is that I will be whipped for those mistakes.

I feel comfortable here, I apologize because I don't think this is the thread to express it but it feels good.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm not feeling great. It took me way too long to catchup on all my school work, so I ended up only getting to study last minute. I am definitely going to be failing this exam. Doesn't help that my prof, as good as he is at teaching, seems to really love making overly difficult exams for this students. The last one was a pain in the ass and I have a feeling that this one is going to be worse. I am screwed...

Well, I definitely failed that exam. Funny, because it was easier than the last one yet I honestly feel like I probably did worse on this one. Probably doesn't help that I studied last minute, lol (mostly because it was taking me a long time to catch up on my lectures for that class). I'm too tired to give a shit.

 

[fleetingnight]

Detached

 

[BlendedHeart]

Even my dreams are tormenting me. Showing me situations that never came to be and never will. Showing me people that doesn't care about me anymore. Giving me useless hope. The moment I wake up, all that optimism vanishes and gives place to sorrow and melancholy.

 

[cicatrezESP]

i'm living inside a nightmare

 

[CTB Dream]

Alws dtriort no stop no know wat do

 

[Phantomygg]

I feel hopeless and feel like everyone around me hates me

 

[cotton]

Anger and restraint at the things I need to do and want to do but I can't deal with the thing that's in my way at the moment.

 

[Thisisnotaname]

I can't even talk about my life and throughts since someone knows I had an account here

 

[delora]

I feel plagued with the burden of living on for the sake of another.

Can't estimate the sheer amount of times I just thought: fuck, none of this would be happening if I was dead. And yet, I live.

I've been struggling with my thoughts again. Every time I think it might be getting better, it's only a matter of time until it all comes back. The uncertainty, the insecurity. The feeling that I might never be fully comfortable or at peace. I am tired.​

 

[Kimlett]

I'm feeling bored, unmotivated, aphathetic. My life makes no sense and I'm struggling to find a reason to keep living other than not hurting my family.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Exhausted and begging for the mercy of death. So fed up with this existence. I so wish I could give it to someone else who wanted it. Like a life transplant. Maybe one day we'll be able to? Donate our entire body everything by euthanasia for parts. How brilliant would that be. Offers benefitting from this waste and it being an honourable thing to do.

 

[trashhologram]

It's so fucking annoying that when you're a sex worker existing online people ask stupid questions about my job in threads that don't have shit to do with it. Ugh. Drinking rooibos and petting a cat is nice though.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm just fed up most of the time. Maybe it's not the worst emotion to have but, it's exhausting when it's almost all the time. I just don't like my reality and I've got it to as good as I think it's going to get! It's clear to me what I should do but, I don't feel that I can right now and I wonder how long I'm going to have to keep fighting to tread water when all I want to say is: F*CK THIS!

Thank you. End of today's rant.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Can't sleep again. I think the emptiness of my soul is keeping me awake. It's so loud. The void is calling to me, or maybe that's just my own inner angst crying to be sedated like some kind of whiny baby.

 

[Proxycake]

There is nothing in this world, or in my own life that could ever push me into wanting to live.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I am scared. I feel nothing but fear. Not just fear regarding suicide (not that I can access any anyway) but fear regarding life itself and having to live. I'm scared that I'm trapped in existence until natural death. I'm scared of all of the suffering that I have to endure. I'm scared of every hardship and struggle that I have to go through. I'm scared that I will go homeless in the future because I am unable to conform to society. I AM SO SCARED AND I WANT A WAY OUT OF HERE :(

 

[xtra_cheesecurds]

I feel very neutral right now. I'm trying to call my friend right now, but he isn't responding (even though he said he would) so I'm a little bit antsy as well regarding that. Nonetheless, I feel fine as of right now. :)

 

[fleetingnight]

Like the stupidest person alive. I've done almost nothing a whole week, despite the fact I've hardly slept, so I'd have more time to do things. I know I'm entirely useless, so why do I keep on trying?

 

[Tuonetar_]

Needed to get some stuff done but I slept the day away, as usual. I wish I didn't find everything in life to be so exhausting.

 

[cinnamonstix]

Heartbroken and defeated. I wish his words had real love behind them, I've never felt more alone

 

[OldManOfTheLake]

Things are bad at my workplace. People are crying because of the election. We have a large LGBTQ+ population at my workplace (I am in that community as well) and it's so bad. I had a nervous breakdown last week and has put me in a horrible position. I may have slammed the door shut on a PhD position from my nervous breakdown.

If I do CTB. It's going to be a long post. I am an old fart and have lived a wild life. I'm preparing my post and preparing my method.


I don't see how things are getting better other than a miracle. These are very dark times.

 

[brickedup]

my family doesn't trust me, and my bf + his family doesn't trust me either. i messed up. i want out, i want to end it all, to restart.

 

[trashhologram]

I hate being broke just because the bureaucratic offices can't understand what I've written to them. I have less than a damn euro and a bitch is like "I'll see what I can do". Well, guess I won't eat. Fuck this stupid recovery from an eating disorder, I'm going back to restricting so I can afford anything else I need. I don't need much food. Fuck this life.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I am pissed I have to go for OCD therapy in a little bit because I don't think I'm capable of making any more progress so what's the point. At least my therapist is super nice.
And I'm kind of freaking out lately because I've noticed my hands shake a lot and my balance is really horrible. I don't know if it's a result of me being 44 and not exercising a single bit my entire life or if I'm getting some horrible disease that is about to make my existence even worse

 

[Diogenetic Ruse]

Ambivalent

 

[general_malaise]

exhausted

 

[TANETS]

Scared about the future. It's not paranoia if it's continuously getting worst everyday.

 

[dqngerous]

tired. so so so fucking tired. alone.

 

[CTB Dream]

Tthis lif me no want rly awfl all exp pain sffr no stop