Valueing things more in life as I'm constantly thinking about death

[EndlessDream]

I feel like I'm appreciating things more in life as I'm thinking more about death. Instead of people saying noooo don't CTB yourself haha, it is helping me more that I'm in a community that supports it, and it's making me happy. I'm still enthused on the idea of CTBing and am forming some plans, but the journey of CTBing so far has been so blissful compared to the ongoing struggles of therapy and friends being concerned of my intentions. I can appreciate life through the lens of death. Rather than the extreme invalidation done of my feelings and self from friends and therapists, I am at peace of the idea of committing to death and a bunch of people that really support me. I feel dopamine rushing and finally a sense of peace in my life since the abuse I have received from my childhood.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be a relief to finally feel at peace, to me it's understandable why people would feel relieved when they are planning to leave this world, as if someone has a method planned they will no longer feel so trapped here, they have the choice of leaving this world.