My older bro died from fent 4 years ago. Tequila bottle dad used it as an opportunity to drink and abuse me for 3 years until he abandoned me altogether for 11 months. Dude died alone in his older bro's funded luxury apartment surrounded by liquor bottles. All this is when shit hit the fan for me. I got super fucking sick and couldn't work. My business failed. My landlord turned predatory and extracted from me and I had to run. I got medical bills. I had to liquidate my retirement fund. IRS is raping my ass. Nobody fucking cares. I get very little to no support. Been living alone for 11 years. I was a very successful software engineer but I hated my life and was suicidal for most of the past decade because my society is paying me great money to rot and build things that are negative influence on humanity. They don't value my art my creativity or any of my real gifts. They want me to die in an office robbing society. I refuse to do it. I'm sick in an apartment alone, no friends no gf no wife, def. never want to date, see no reason to ever want relationship again after the abandonment of my best friends and family. Def feel like the purpose of life is to renounce it. Life is just a trap and we are spiritual beings and our goal here is to exit life because it's ultimately worthless. Think this is prolly a legit view point. Don't have any drug or legal problems, never did anybody wrong, always tried to do our best but honestly just not interested in life anymore. We like 44 magnum revolvers and hollow points. Can't afford therapy anymore, figured out 4.5 years with her she's just a capitalistic extraction device like everything else in America. All these people will tell me they care, call strangers on 988 number, tell me not to blast my brains out... but they'll never give me money, they'll never call, they'll never step out of their social role. We not talking to our family or anyone anymore... no real purpose. I'm in intense physical pain every day been that way for 3 years due to chronic fatigue or lupus. Can't afford cat's vet bills. Looking like my only way out of this is back into the life I just escaped and we'd legit rather be dead, so seriously considering this time. Think it's prolly up to other people to plan their own exit from life and they can join us soon if they miss us.
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