Story Testing SN - How to get to hospital (fast)

[PDAnnie2610]

Thanks for sharing. It helps give me peace already for my upcoming bus ride.

 

[apathetic.]

This could help @gigithecat

 

[artificialpasta]

This is interesting. I hope you are okay now.

Also the fact that you can do this without incurring massive costs make me very envious of the German healthcare system :P

 

[AnotherTragicName]

You Sir, are some badass motherfucker.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

How to measure out approximately 2g? Is it around a teaspoon full? And is it ok to drink it with Coca Cola?

 

[rxleep]

Is SN something that would be routinely checked for or suspected. Would it show up on a typical toxicology screening? In the event I was taken to a hospital in time it would be nice to know if they wouldn't figure out the problem quickly.

 

[MusicToLogIn]

Thank you for your post. Any side effects occurring to you. And where did you get your SN from? Greetings from Germany. Maybe you can pm me. Thx mate. Much appreciated.

 

[icetea15]

Is SN something that would be routinely checked for or suspected. Would it show up on a typical toxicology screening? In the event I was taken to a hospital in time it would be nice to know if they wouldn't figure out the problem quickly.

I had sooooo much toxicological screenings and they investigated my vomit. They couldn't find any any substance like SN. Probably because my dose was so little, so my stomach quickly absorbed it. The only sign was the brownish and thick blood, and in the final report it says "probably, many a lodacaine self-poisoning". Several checkups afterwards couldn't help the doctors to explain this situation.

How to measure out approximately 2g? Is it around a teaspoon full? And is it ok to drink it with Coca Cola?

Around a teaspoon. And I drank it with Coca Cola so it covers the taste. And judging by my story, it had no negative effects.

You Sir, are some badass motherfucker.

I take that as a compliment

This is interesting. I hope you are okay now.

Also the fact that you can do this without incurring massive costs make me very envious of the German healthcare system :P

Yeah... I'm so sorry for people who have to pay for their medical care :/

Thank you for your post. Any side effects occurring to you. And where did you get your SN from? Greetings from Germany. Maybe you can pm me. Thx mate. Much appreciated.

I PM you.

 

[prox777]

Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don't know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm. ​

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:
I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I'm a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud".

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time "I was asleep", my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of "Kammerflimmern", a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers

I found your post in a general duckduckgo search and joined SS because of it. At first I was irritated that you were about to ctb but went to the hospital and let them save you. As I await my sn delivery (expected today!) I have re read this a thousand times and I understand why you did it. Not irritated now, I want to say thank you. Thank you for guinea pigging this and posting your results. You've given me a great deal of comfort in knowing this WILL work; and after thousands of scars and a dozen failed attempts, it's finally almost over.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Thank you for sharing this. This post reconfirms the lethality of SN.

 

[angrywarhol2021]

Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don't know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm. ​

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:
I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I'm a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud".

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time "I was asleep", my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of "Kammerflimmern", a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers

This was incredibly interesting. Great to have firsthand reports with photos and evidence.

 

[Butterflyfree]

Thank you for your long and detailed post with a critical point of view. I can't be sure if any of my previous medications, especially the benzodiazepines, have anything to do with this whole procedere.
But I can give you some side notes:
Lorazepam: In use since 6 years
Diazepam: In use since 7 years
Triazolam: In use since 4 years. No short-term memory effects, the effect of Triazolam holds about 5h max. as you can research.
I know after many, many blood tests that diazepam and lorazepam are always in my body. So I cannot exclude any reactions with SN. But for Triazolam I can calm you/everyone: Triazolam, a very aggressive benzodiazepine, is not included in any reaction.

About breathing problems: I had no breathing problem at all. Like I mentioned in my story I just got a tube around my nose because they knew something in my body causes the lack of oxygen. My breath/perminute rate and the general condition of my "way to breathe" was for me, and for the doctors totally normal. Even in the intensive care unit I could breathe normally with a little help of a ventilator. A full "ventilator based" breathing was not a topic because it may cause panic with the patient because he/she has no control of his airflow even through he is at consciousness. In a short text: I had never any feeling of breathing problems.

EDIT: The protocol. I don't know, and I can't really understand how someone came to the conclusion that 25g is the perfect amount. From my medical point of view, it's just increasing the chances of failing because of an overreaction of your body which leads to strong nausea and vomiting. The officially, scientifically discovered lethal dose is 2g. I don't attack the protocol for itself, that's not my intention. I just questioned the protocol itself. A quiet good example: The decreasing of propranolol. I do have the PPill and in an version it says 2g, now it's 800mg. 2g itself lead, according to many reports (I discussed that in on of my previous threahds), can cause death.

I think also one of the reasons why I criticize the protocol: For my opinion it's excluding too many people out and creates a hemisphere of anxiety if you don't correctly follow the protocol.

Little, maybe dumb example: Why should you drink 15L water in once to CTB if 9L is enoug

Thank you for your post! I already knew before methylene blue is the andidot because of many threads in this forum. I just told nobody about it because it could have broke my whole story which leads to a detention into a psych ward.

They maybe some changes, but at this time the official lethal dose was 2g which was a mix of reports and laboratary examinations after failed attempts. And the early studies about SN Australia where they're were using SN to kill pigs.

Thank you so much for your nice words! <3

Yeah, if you could see my PM's… But I reported some because I think with their attitude, they don't really fit in this forum. The question why I want to CTB is a simple question with an extremly long answer, I try to explain in in keywords:

- PTSD: war refugee as a child (NATO strikes Jugoslavia (Kosovo)
- violent parents
- I was unwanted
- high expectations set for me
- I hate myself
- the lack of feeling love (for my parents, brother, sister, ex-girlfriend, boyfriend, friends etc.)
- my general philosophical view of the world which makes no sense for me

I have no lasting problems. I got a total of 7 checkups afterwards. My heart muscle was the main organ they tried to investigate. But just 10-20 minutes after giving me methylene blue: I had no aftereffects at all. Since today.

Thank you for your long and detailed post with a critical point of view. I can't be sure if any of my previous medications, especially the benzodiazepines, have anything to do with this whole procedere.
But I can give you some side notes:
Lorazepam: In use since 6 years
Diazepam: In use since 7 years
Triazolam: In use since 4 years. No short-term memory effects, the effect of Triazolam holds about 5h max. as you can research.
I know after many, many blood tests that diazepam and lorazepam are always in my body. So I cannot exclude any reactions with SN. But for Triazolam I can calm you/everyone: Triazolam, a very aggressive benzodiazepine, is not included in any reaction.

About breathing problems: I had no breathing problem at all. Like I mentioned in my story I just got a tube around my nose because they knew something in my body causes the lack of oxygen. My breath/perminute rate and the general condition of my "way to breathe" was for me, and for the doctors totally normal. Even in the intensive care unit I could breathe normally with a little help of a ventilator. A full "ventilator based" breathing was not a topic because it may cause panic with the patient because he/she has no control of his airflow even through he is at consciousness. In a short text: I had never any feeling of breathing problems.

EDIT: The protocol. I don't know, and I can't really understand how someone came to the conclusion that 25g is the perfect amount. From my medical point of view, it's just increasing the chances of failing because of an overreaction of your body which leads to strong nausea and vomiting. The officially, scientifically discovered lethal dose is 2g. I don't attack the protocol for itself, that's not my intention. I just questioned the protocol itself. A quiet good example: The decreasing of propranolol. I do have the PPill and in an version it says 2g, now it's 800mg. 2g itself lead, according to many reports (I discussed that in on of my previous threahds), can cause death.

I think also one of the reasons why I criticize the protocol: For my opinion it's excluding too many people out and creates a hemisphere of anxiety if you don't correctly follow the protocol.

Little, maybe dumb example: Why should you drink 15L water in once to CTB if 9L is enough?

@icetea15 May I ask your age please?

 

[darkwater]

I was so convinced to do it but this reads kind of scary. If I take 15g I should really be permanently unconscious in half an hour or?

 

[Eddypaddy]

I would love to have a PM chat with you @icetea15. But i dont have the ability to write PM´S... Im from germany too and cant fight any SN.

 

[darkwater]

I would love to have a PM chat with you @icetea15. But i dont have the ability to write PM´S... Im from germany too and cant fight any SN.

Leider kann ich dir keine PN schreiben aber ich habe eine quelle. Ich lasse das hier 15 Minuten stehen dann lösche ich es wieder:

 

[Eddypaddy]

Danke! Hast du das gleiche?

 

[darkwater]

Nein, ich muss mir erst eine Kreditkarte besorgen um bestellen zu können aber AntHydra soll es erfolgreich bestellt und genutzt haben.
Solltest Du es bestellen lass uns mal wissen ob es irgenwelche Probleme mit dem Zoll gab.

 

[Eddypaddy]

Nein, ich muss mir erst eine Kreditkarte besorgen um bestellen zu können aber AntHydra soll es erfolgreich bestellt und genutzt haben.
Solltest Du es bestellen lass uns mal wissen ob es irgenwelche Probleme mit dem Zoll gab.

Man hat die Option über Banküberweisung zu bestellen. Versuchst du das erst gar nicht?

Hat man? Ich habe da nur polnische Direktüberweisungsysteme und Kreditkarte gesehen.

ja... mache mir jetzt aber gedanken über die konsequenzen. möchte nicht das meine eltern oder die cops das herausfinden..
Würde mich sehr freuen wenn @icetea15 zu Wort kommen würde und uns eine PM schicken könnte!

 

[Apricity]

Crazy how different German is from English considering they are from the same language branch.
@icetea15 thank you for your contribution. I must also say that I admire your composure when you have people speaking to you so rudely.

 

[8evergo]

Noch eine Frage... Warum haben Sie den Ärzten nicht erwähnt, dass Sie SN genommen haben? Wann haben Sie dann im Krankenhaus Ihre Meinung geändert und wollten unbedingt ctb?

Hier merkt man, dass er aus Deutschland sehr schlecht inkompetentes Personal wie typisch in DE ist

 

[NMOP3PISdn]

Hello guys and girls,

First of all: I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I'm from Germany/Austria and unfortunately I'm not a native speaker.
I don't know why it took me so long so tell you my story but today I decided to do exactly that: My story of what happens when you try SN.

WARNING: NSFW, graphical image of my face, wrist and arm. ​

My actual medication is:
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine
200mg modafinil
0,25mg triazolam
10mg diazepam
10mg metoclopramid
45mg mirtazpine
80mg propranolol

(Yes, you read that right. I take a lot, severe depression for 10 years and chronic suicidality…)
It was a thursday evening. I've had my SN for almost a year. I did a blood test long time ago (which was successful) but that evening I thought to myself that I would like to test it myself. No matter how it ends. I weighed the SN exactly. 2g. The minimum "lethal" dose.


I try to make it clear on a timeline.

09:00:
I swallowed lorazepam, modafinil and venlafaxine in the morning. The night before (about 11pm) the rest of the medication.

13:00:
My first meal, cereal with milk, not much but I rarely have breakfast.

19:00:
We had homemade schnitzel with fries, lots of ketchup and coke.

21:00:
I didn't take any other medication 12 hours before. I started taking SN.
I mixed exactly 2g of SN with exactly 250ml of coke. I know it's totally out of the typical schedule (Stan Plan), but like I mentioned earlier, I wasn't really planning to die, even though I have all the medication I need.
I'm a med student and messed my oxygen level about the whole process using a pulse oximeter. The taste was 100% coke. The aftertaste: horrible, like bleach. But the taste could quickly be washed away by more coke.
View attachment 75573

21:15:
Oxygen level: 95%
Heartrate: 81/bpm

21:30:
Oxygen level: 93%
Heartrate: 99/bpm

21:45:
Oxygen level: 90%
Heartrate: 110/bpm
View attachment 75566

22:00:
Oxygen level: 88%
Heartrate: 132/bpm
View attachment 75563

22:15:
Oxygen level: 83%
Heartrate: 154/bpm
When my oxygen level fell below (critical) 85, I decided to smoke a cigarette and then asked my brother if he could drive me to the hospital. My lips were very bluish and my skin was getting lighter and lighter. I just told my brother that I was getting real sick.

22:35-00:10:
We got to the hospital, we went to the emergency room, and I was immediately greeted by two nurses. I had to completely undress, had electrodes taped to my chest and an oxygen tube around my nose. I was asked if I had taken anything (obviously: my arm and my body are full of scars), I said no. During the interrogation they repeatedly took small samples of my blood and tested it for all kinds of drugs. They didn't find anything. Funny though, they had to use a very wide needle to access the blood from the vein, because my blood was brown and very thick at the time. The doctor said: "That looks exactly like mud".

I'm sure you're wondering how I felt meanwhile: Amazingly good. Although my heart rate was consistently over 150, I didn't feel any of this. I was just tired. I even threw up twice but without feeling nauseous.
View attachment 75564

00:10:
I had no overview of my exact oxygen level, I just knew that my heart was beating very fast. Over the time I was given more and more oxygen through the tube, and later I had a mask on. The doctors just told me that although the oxygen level was still falling, they could/had slow it down. At 00:10 everything changed: The monitor behind sent a loud alarm. Two doctors came immediately with an emergency kit and an oxygen tank. I was pushed down the hallways of the hospital with two nurses as if there was a race. I was told on the way that my oxygen level had dropped rapidly to below 65% in a matter of time and that I had to go to the intensive care unit immediately.

Once there, the same procedure began as at the beginning. With the exception that this time a ventilator "helped" me breathing like semi-automatically, and that I was now given an arterial access on my right wrist.

00:30-02:30:
The following 2 hours consist of a mix of my memories and the doctor's stories afterwards. I try to explain it as unmedically as possible.
I was fine, I would even say very well. However, I lost consciousness a total of 6 times over time. It always felt like I just fell asleep for a moment. Only afterwards they told me that every time "I was asleep", my left ventricle was unable to flow enough blood into the right ventricle due to the thickness of the blood. This irritated my heart muscle and led to "ventricular fibrillation" (according to Google, this is the english translation of "Kammerflimmern", a word that every German speaker knows). After the first time, more electrodes were stuck to my chest that can deliver a shock with the push of a button. Yep, they had to use a defibrillator. And another five times after that thought the button. During this whole process, the doctors were connected to the German Poison Center (Giftzentrale) at all times. After several blood conserves (they sucked my blood out of my body and added new one at the same time, like a dialysis but with new blood) and anitdots, I was given exactly the medication: methylene blue. My oxygen levels rose to 97% in about 10 minutes. It was over. The doctors and nurses were finally relieved, full of sweat. Only then everything I write here was fully explained to me.
View attachment 75567

02:30-04:30:
Despite the fact that I kept requested the nurses to inform my brother what was/is happening, my brother was only afterwards informed that I survived it. They didn't want to let him know until I survived or died. 2 more hours passed in which my values were observed. At half past four I decided to leave the hospital voluntarily. I knew that nothing more would happen now and had to sign two contracts that I am at my own risk and that the doctors do not recommend it.
View attachment 75568View attachment 75569
That's me afterwards.

Now I sit here and write down my experiences with the hope that it will eventually help somebody. I can't guarantee it 100% though but: there are NO after-effects. I went to check-ups several times in the same week and no heart defects were found. I feel the same way as before. Still severely depressed, but physically healthy. The only physical after-effect I got and are now gone:
View attachment 75572

Thank you very much if you've read it up to here, I hope my english wasn't toooo bad. I am happy to answer any questions or anything else, and if there are any doubts, I am ready to give the handwritten final report from the hospital to a moderator so that you can be sure that this is not a made-up story. And sorry for the title... I deal depression with humour and everybody who knows the real title of the netflix movie: It was a fcking good movie.


Cheers

Wow! I just want to say that this was a good read. You are literally Godlike for doing this. The details you provided gives me so much confidence in this way of CTB. Thank you for this.

 

[Joker]

Icteas 15 thank you very much for sharing your experience!

 

[blueclover_.]

I want to point out that OP consistently takes a major mix of benzodiazepines; 3 different kinds at once. All benzos increase the risk of breathing problems, especially when combined with another benzo, and even more so when combined again with something else that causes sedation or issues with oxygen. Triazolam especially is a serious medication, it can cause short-term amnesia by itself, nevermind when combined with other things.

OP may have varying levels of tolerance to these meds, depending on how long he's been taking them, but his sensations of feeling totally calm and indifferent during the entire process of taking SN and getting intensive care treatment should *not* be taken as anywhere near what's expected for the average person. There's a lot of potential for those benzos specifically to interact with SN, and his experience after only taking 2g may well be a result of those interactions.

@icetea15 I appreciate you taking the time to write this up so we have this information, but in my opinion no one should disregard the protocol for this experience. We have a lot of written evidence of the protocol's effectiveness, while the average person who isn't taking the same mix of medications as you are can't count on getting the same reaction from only 2g.

I mean he didn't say that everyone should only take 2 g? He said that it's your choice. He didn't follow the regime but still was going to die, it worked for him, not you or anyone else. I don't understand these people going apeshit for no reason.

 

[miserableforever]

Telling the doctors taking SN would have dramatically increased the chance of being detend to closed psychiatry. I've been there once, and I want never have that experience again. I have reached a point in my life in which I do not care whether I die or not. I never changed my mind, the doctors just found a solution.

EDIT: @mentalhealthfighter Nope. Since today they have no clue what exactly caused this.

If they gave you methylene blue it sounds kinda likely that they had an idea what caused the low oxygen levels.

 

[icetea15]

Wow! I just want to say that this was a good read. You are literally Godlike for doing this. The details you provided gives me so much confidence in this way of CTB. Thank you for this.

Thank you for your compliment! Thank you that I was able to take away any possible fears in some way with my story.

For those guys who asked how old I'm, 25.

I was so convinced to do it but this reads kind of scary. If I take 15g I should really be permanently unconscious in half an hour or?

Possibly, yes.

I mean he didn't say that everyone should only take 2 g? He said that it's your choice. He didn't follow the regime but still was going to die, it worked for him, not you or anyone else. I don't understand these people going apeshit for no reason.

That's right. I do not recommend any amount. But from my story you can see what a potential such a small amount represents. I mean, I took less than a 1/10 of the recommended amount...

If they gave you methylene blue it sounds kinda likely that they had an idea what caused the low oxygen levels.

They gave me methylene blue because it is one of the great medications/antidot against a general increased level of methemoglobinemia. What caused it? Nobody knows for sure.

 

[Whale_bones]

I mean he didn't say that everyone should only take 2 g? He said that it's your choice. He didn't follow the regime but still was going to die, it worked for him, not you or anyone else. I don't understand these people going apeshit for no reason.

I don't think any part of my post was "going apeshit", or even close to it for that matter. The OP himself responded and thanked me for my post before continuing the discussion, so he clearly didn't see it as wildly unreasonable. Can you point out what specifically appears that way to you?

Yes, he doesn't flat-out *order* people to follow his method; that would be a very extreme and odd thing to do, and it would cause most people reading to lose all trust in his judgment. What he DOES do is recommend they follow his method, multiple times:

I would recommend a smaller amount and not playing the "quick pass out game".

And in my personal recommendation I wouldn't take so much because it's to overkill and chances of failing is too high because of the sideeffects.

He directly compares his method to the protocol many times, often in response to people's questions about what he thinks is better, always listing the benefits of his method and claiming downsides and dangers of the protocol. Yes, he states it is the person's choice, but at the same time he is recommending to choose his method. In another comment, he states that he doesn't make any recommendations, but this isn't what actually happens, as can be seen throughout the thread.

He also cites his experience as a med student, a fact that gives him stronger credibility in the mind of the reader, as he's coming from his "medical point of view" and we automatically associate this with legitimacy:

The protocol. I don't know, and I can't really understand how someone came to the conclusion that 25g is the perfect amount. From my medical point of view, it's just increasing the chances of failing because of an overreaction of your body which leads to strong nausea and vomiting.

The reality is that we have no idea of his training, credentials, or anything at all that makes him more reliable than any other random person when it comes to medical topics. I'm not saying he's lying about having been in med school; I don't think he is. But when he makes such claims about completely unconfirmed things- such as saying that the standard protocol dose of SN has a high chance of failing- it is irresponsible and potentially dangerous to cite his medical experience as a way to legitimize that.

His first language is not English, but I think it's clear by his level of writing and communication with other posters that he has a good grasp of the English language, and that that is not the issue here.

 

[blueclover_.]

I don't think any part of my post was "going apeshit", or even close to it for that matter. The OP himself responded and thanked me for my post before continuing the discussion, so he clearly didn't see it as wildly unreasonable. Can you point out what specifically appears that way to you?

Yes, he doesn't flat-out *order* people to follow his method; that would be a very extreme and odd thing to do, and it would cause most people reading to lose all trust in his judgment. What he DOES do is recommend they follow his method, multiple times:



He directly compares his method to the protocol many times, often in response to people's questions about what he thinks is better, always listing the benefits of his method and claiming downsides and dangers of the protocol. Yes, he states it is the person's choice, but at the same time he is recommending to choose his method. In another comment, he states that he doesn't make any recommendations, but this isn't what actually happens, as can be seen throughout the thread.

He also cites his experience as a med student, a fact that gives him stronger credibility in the mind of the reader, as he's coming from his "medical point of view" and we automatically associate this with legitimacy:


The reality is that we have no idea of his training, credentials, or anything at all that makes him more reliable than any other random person when it comes to medical topics. I'm not saying he's lying about having been in med school; I don't think he is. But when he makes such claims about completely unconfirmed things- such as saying that the standard protocol dose of SN has a high chance of failing- it is irresponsible and potentially dangerous to cite his medical experience as a way to legitimize that.

His first language is not English, but I think it's clear by his level of writing and communication with other posters that he has a good grasp of the English language, and that that is not the issue here.

This is an open forum which stands for free speech. So everyone, including OP, has the right to state their opinions. You are not obliged to agree with his opinion, no big deal.

He just thinks the 25 g dose reccomendation is unenecessary, which i personally don't agree with, but i respect it because that's his opinion. Others don't have to agree with him, and they should not attack him just because he doesn't agree wih them.

Some people who were hating him and sending personal attacks that have nothing to do with the topic were just lashing out and being irrationally mad. I did not speak specifically to you.

 

[Deardaddy]

i had
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine

for depression same as you, they are worthless to help cope with anxiety for sure

 

[icetea15]

I don't think any part of my post was "going apeshit", or even close to it for that matter. The OP himself responded and thanked me for my post before continuing the discussion, so he clearly didn't see it as wildly unreasonable. Can you point out what specifically appears that way to you?

Yes, he doesn't flat-out *order* people to follow his method; that would be a very extreme and odd thing to do, and it would cause most people reading to lose all trust in his judgment. What he DOES do is recommend they follow his method, multiple times:



He directly compares his method to the protocol many times, often in response to people's questions about what he thinks is better, always listing the benefits of his method and claiming downsides and dangers of the protocol. Yes, he states it is the person's choice, but at the same time he is recommending to choose his method. In another comment, he states that he doesn't make any recommendations, but this isn't what actually happens, as can be seen throughout the thread.

He also cites his experience as a med student, a fact that gives him stronger credibility in the mind of the reader, as he's coming from his "medical point of view" and we automatically associate this with legitimacy:


The reality is that we have no idea of his training, credentials, or anything at all that makes him more reliable than any other random person when it comes to medical topics. I'm not saying he's lying about having been in med school; I don't think he is. But when he makes such claims about completely unconfirmed things- such as saying that the standard protocol dose of SN has a high chance of failing- it is irresponsible and potentially dangerous to cite his medical experience as a way to legitimize that.

His first language is not English, but I think it's clear by his level of writing and communication with other posters that he has a good grasp of the English language, and that that is not the issue here.

Hey, thank you very much for your long and respectful critical post. I do appreciate compliments and positive reviews but I also appreciate critical reviews/post which are very important to open my view on new perspectives.

I try to answer you step-by-step.

My intention with my thread in general had many reasons, one of that was to show you guys the effect of SN in the lowest possible lethal dose. As you can see it was nearly fatal. As you stated: I do not recommend anyone how much SN you should take, I just questioned the protocol itself. There is no legit literature which undermined the huge amount of SN which is stated. The only study about this kind of topic is the official study from the Australia, which is using SN to kill pigs. That's btw the beginning of the whole possibility of taking SN to CTB. That's also the reason I undermined my opinion with my credentials as a med student. I don't have any studies to undermine opinion except for my own experiment which is clearly not a official source of "true information". The statement of "my medical point of you" is just a reason "why" I think it's to much. I'm not a doctor, but I think I have a pretty good knowledge about your body and the potential of poisoning it and the body's natural counterattacks against it. I don't have any real source about how SN effects your body, the reason I brought up my medicine study, was just to clarify why I think about this.

As you mentioned: Stating my knowledge of the human body is of course from the site of reader a possible point to show any credibility. And I do understand your point. Everybody rather believes someone who has any credibility of this topic. And I really apologize for not making it clear, why I brought this up. You can believe me or not: The only reason was to undermine why I think this is the possible solution. You can say anything about this topic because nobody can rely on real information. I just wanted to explain why I have this opinion. I do understand you: I really had to make it clear why I was pointing my medical credibility on this, after reading my response to people I do see my failure regarding this. That's why I want to apologize especially to those people I answered. My intention was not to push my opinion and sounded like I was speaking the "universal truth". So you're right, I really had to point out that my "medical point of view" was just an understatement to give my opinion any kind of reason. But like I mentioned, the answers I have given sounded way to much like "I do know it better".

And yes, in the internet you can say anything you want and I do appreciate your critical point of view to questioned any "facts" anybody gives to you. The internet is full of hoax and you can pretty much say anything and try to undermine it with any points like pseudo-knowledge to give the reader no doubt to questioned it. So I do understand and appreciate your critical setting on a meta level. After all I feel very good that your general opinion is to trust me at this point.
I had no intention to lie you about this topic because I had no reason to do it. Lying about it, is for me personally, just a psychopathic and evil thing to do just to push my statement into your mindset. And that's clearly not my intention, that's why I really do appreciate on your trust in me at this point.

And just to comment my English skills; I do know which words I use and my lack of skills is no reason whatever to "relativize" my failure. I just mentioned it for grammatical errors or using the same words too often. I do know the English language very well… but only when writing, speaking English with the right way on the pronunciation is a other topic I do not want to talk about :D

At the end of my post I just to wanted to make it clear for all: My intention was really to give you any kind of information on how SN effects your body. I tried to tell you in a detailed way with pictures and the amount of detailed information, on how SN effects body. I do really not recommend anyone of how much SN you should take, that's still your decision. And I do apologize to any new reader of this thread for my posts and answers. It was not my intention to influence you on how to do it. I just wanted to state my opinion on this kind of way to CTB and HOW I WILL DO IT. I'm really sorry for anyone who is now confused on the amount of SN you should take. My answers do really seems like a recommendation and I wish could reverse the time and to clarify my use of words. But I can't do it and I stand for my failures. That's why I do not delete any post I had given just to reverse your opinion on me. I failed in many ways and I do take the responsibility, I just hope for everybody they're also reading this post.

Thank you.

i had
2.5mg lorazepam
150mg venlafaxine

for depression same as you, they are worthless to help cope with anxiety for sure

Yes, they are totally worthless, but after trying 99272x kinds of medication I just gave up with the topic "medication". I'm in therapy since almost a decade and tried any kind of medication and models of "talk therapy". Regarding the many psychologists I went to, including the chief doctor of a very well known psychiatric institution: I'm a hopeless case :D
I even tried private ways to cure my depression with ketamine, propofol, ECT which I had to pay myself: Nothing works. Even XTC in really high dosage and a purity of nearly 99% had no effect whatever on me. My psychological mindset is very well equipped because I really tried anything, but my body and my brain just doesn't want cure me.

 

[Whale_bones]

This is an open forum which stands for free speech. So everyone, including OP, has the right to state their opinions. You are not obliged to agree with his opinion, no big deal.

He just thinks the 25 g dose reccomendation is unenecessary, which i personally don't agree with, but i respect it because that's his opinion. Others don't have to agree with him, and they should not attack him just because he doesn't agree wih them.

Some people who were hating him and sending personal attacks that have nothing to do with the topic were just lashing out and being irrationally mad. I did not speak specifically to you.

You DID speak specifically to me. You replied directly to my post and quoted it. That's why I replied to you in the first place. If you had an issue with someone else's post, it doesn't make any sense to quote my words and write under them that "people are going apeshit." I asked you to point out any part of my post that could fit that description, and you didn't.

Both the OP and I have been respectful and civil in our interactions back and forth with each other, and I think our discussion has helped clarify some really important parts of this post. I am not responsible for the words of some other random poster, and I shouldn't be lumped in with any bad behavior just because I discuss disagreements with OP in a civil manner.

Hey, thank you very much for your long and respectful critical post. I do appreciate compliments and positive reviews but I also appreciate critical reviews/post which are very important to open my view on new perspectives.

I try to answer you step-by-step.

My intention with my thread in general had many reasons, one of that was to show you guys the effect of SN in the lowest possible lethal dose. As you can see it was nearly fatal. As you stated: I do not recommend anyone how much SN you should take, I just questioned the protocol itself. There is no legit literature which undermined the huge amount of SN which is stated. The only study about this kind of topic is the official study from the Australia, which is using SN to kill pigs. That's btw the beginning of the whole possibility of taking SN to CTB. That's also the reason I undermined my opinion with my credentials as a med student. I don't have any studies to undermine opinion except for my own experiment which is clearly not a official source of "true information". The statement of "my medical point of you" is just a reason "why" I think it's to much. I'm not a doctor, but I think I have a pretty good knowledge about your body and the potential of poisoning it and the body's natural counterattacks against it. I don't have any real source about how SN effects your body, the reason I brought up my medicine study, was just to clarify why I think about this.

As you mentioned: Stating my knowledge of the human body is of course from the site of reader a possible point to show any credibility. And I do understand your point. Everybody rather believes someone who has any credibility of this topic. And I really apologize for not making it clear, why I brought this up. You can believe me or not: The only reason was to undermine why I think this is the possible solution. You can say anything about this topic because nobody can rely on real information. I just wanted to explain why I have this opinion. I do understand you: I really had to make it clear why I was pointing my medical credibility on this, after reading my response to people I do see my failure regarding this. That's why I want to apologize especially to those people I answered. My intention was not to push my opinion and sounded like I was speaking the "universal truth". So you're right, I really had to point out that my "medical point of view" was just an understatement to give my opinion any kind of reason. But like I mentioned, the answers I have given sounded way to much like "I do know it better".

And yes, in the internet you can say anything you want and I do appreciate your critical point of view to questioned any "facts" anybody gives to you. The internet is full of hoax and you can pretty much say anything and try to undermine it with any points like pseudo-knowledge to give the reader no doubt to questioned it. So I do understand and appreciate your critical setting on a meta level. After all I feel very good that your general opinion is to trust me at this point.
I had no intention to lie you about this topic because I had no reason to do it. Lying about it, is for me personally, just a psychopathic and evil thing to do just to push my statement into your mindset. And that's clearly not my intention, that's why I really do appreciate on your trust in me at this point.

And just to comment my English skills; I do know which words I use and my lack of skills is no reason whatever to "relativize" my failure. I just mentioned it for grammatical errors or using the same words too often. I do know the English language very well… but only when writing, speaking English with the right way on the pronunciation is a other topic I do not want to talk about :D

At the end of my post I just to wanted to make it clear for all: My intention was really to give you any kind of information on how SN effects your body. I tried to tell you in a detailed way with pictures and the amount of detailed information, on how SN effects body. I do really not recommend anyone of how much SN you should take, that's still your decision. And I do apologize to any new reader of this thread for my posts and answers. It was not my intention to influence you on how to do it. I just wanted to state my opinion on this kind of way to CTB and HOW I WILL DO IT. I'm really sorry for anyone who is now confused on the amount of SN you should take. My answers do really seems like a recommendation and I wish could reverse the time and to clarify my use of words. But I can't do it and I stand for my failures. That's why I do not delete any post I had given just to reverse your opinion on me. I failed in many ways and I do take the responsibility, I just hope for everybody they're also reading this post.

Thank you.

Yes, they are totally worthless, but after trying 99272x kinds of medication I just gave up with the topic "medication". I'm in therapy since almost a decade and tried any kind of medication and models of "talk therapy". Regarding the many psychologists I went to, including the chief doctor of a very well known psychiatric institution: I'm a hopeless case :D
I even tried private ways to cure my depression with ketamine, propofol, ECT which I had to pay myself: Nothing works. Even XTC in really high dosage and a purity of nearly 99% had no effect whatever on me. My psychological mindset is very well equipped because I really tried anything, but my body and my brain just doesn't want cure me.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, and for being so open and willing to discuss this. I think it's important to give the most accurate information we can in a post like this, since it can potentially effect people's major decisions about how they CTB, and your willingness to answer questions and make clarifications has helped that a great deal.

I do believe that you had no bad intentions at all in bringing up your history as a med student, and I understand that as part of an explanation for why you've come to the opinion you have, it makes sense to mention that. It's just also important to clarify the things you have in this reply post to me (you clearly state that you're not a doctor, you know there are no studies currently that back this up, etc.) I feel confident that anyone who reads these clarifications will understand that you're not saying you have any medical expertise in SN itself, rather you are referencing your overall medical knowledge about the body as an explanation for why you have come to your opinion.

I also appreciate that you don't delete the post, I think the discussions here are valuable. Whether or not 2g is the right amount to take for the average person, I am definitely unsure of, but with no reliable research published right now, we are valuable sources of information for each other. Without discussing it we only have our own minds to try and figure it out. You have definitely opened up some new ideas for me to consider. And far from failing, I think it takes a really mature person to accept criticism like you did, and to listen to and discuss my points even though we disagree on some things.

Hey, I can only speak one language, along with most of us English-as-a-first-language speakers, so from where I'm standing I have no place to judge!