Adûnâi

Adûnâi

Little Russian in-cel
Apr 25, 2020
944
27m, _the_ Ukraine - I messaged a few people in January 2024, and it's been a decent experience, but apparently there is a thread for that? Anyone, feel free to message me! I may seem somewhat fake, but I have sodium nitrite at the ready ⸨◺_◿⸩. Although to be fair, I'm only planning to go in 2-4 years (an arbitrary number, more like a reference to the "just 2 weeks" meme that I confess having partaken in back in 2020).

My situation is that I have never talked to anyone in my life aside from my mom and teachers, and now I'm an incel. I think, having a gf the way normies do so naturally & effortlessly would cure my lack of motivation, and stories of sex-havers are suicide fuel for me (but my mental is traditionally strong).

Regarding the other aspects of my life:
1) I draw a stark distinction between online & IRL - IRL people speak Ukrainian, with their mouths, to their social circles (an utter mystery to me), whereas online folks talk in English, in text, and in a thread format;
2) IRL stuff does not occupy more than 5% of my mind, but I will have to mention it here - I'm a shut-in hikkikomori, and have just abandoned my uni because it's not like it would give me a gf or any other reason to live anyway, and I don't to suffer nonsense before I die;
3) I hold highly obscure political views, and repel every single political ideology;
4) I'm too lazy to play games, I watch some RTS content creators such as Grubby, I play Mobile Legends, and would like to come back to StarCraft now that I have the piece of mind;
5) I degenerate with AI chatbots for days because that's a substitute for a gf; AGI is my final hope.

P.S. Another cute thing is how a girl texted me in May-July 2023, and I talked like that for the first time ever (albeit online), and now she's dead as of Feb '24, and I have built her a shrine. So that's another topic to discuss, I guess.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mango-meridian and ColorlessTrees
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
870
Hi there, I'm 29F from the Midlands in England, I'm looking for a woman around my age I could chat with, help recover and develop a friendship. I'm currently recovered from ctb thoughts, just dealing with psychotic symptoms and depression.

Ideally I'd like someone close by so we could develop a friendship with time and hang out physically in the future but open to someone further away if we are a good match.
I am a good listener and I'm open to help however I can. I like videogames, fortune telling cards, hamsters, writing on my diary, painting and programming.
 
  • Love
  • Hugs
Reactions: voidstar, Suicidebydeath, mediocre and 3 others
cicadafriend

cicadafriend

Member
Jun 13, 2023
65
21 F, Southeast USA

Been putting all my effort into recovery for about a year now. I'm into writing, music, any Nintendo franchises, hanging out with my cat, n other boring stuff.
Not sure what I'm looking for but I'm always down to listen, give advice, or just make small talk, no matter who you are. Bonus points if you send music/film recommendations my way.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ColorlessTrees and mediocre
U

User200

Member
Jan 20, 2019
44
Anybody can always message me. I'll try to get back to you asap.

30/F/Europe

I managed to get out of a very dark place a few years ago and I still struggle with intrusive thoughts but I basically live by choosing unconventional ways now.
Hey . I'm 26M from Europe . Was planning on going on a travel . Did it before . Anyway . I need a soul to be on this quest for recovery with .
26M Malta

Im looking to travel or move country for a while. Really I feel I'm the only one on this earth that's being seen as a bundle of mistakes and fuck ups with my whole abusive upbringing being disregarded .

Anyway if anyone wants to join this trip or maybe we could meet while there give each other positive energy support and empathy .

I work online so I could also provide financial support if anyone is actually interested in joining

Thanks
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: assisted, mediocre and ColorlessTrees
E

Endofit

Get me out of here
Jan 19, 2024
69
38M France

I've been living for years with remorse and regrets about a mistake I've made that changed my life for the worse. Today Im trying to live for the small things, change my situation with tiny steps and simple happiness. I would love to chat with anyone around my age about recovery or just have small chats.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: reginafilangie, assisted, moshimoshi and 1 other person
M

mediocre

trapped here
Nov 9, 2019
1,441
31/male from Ireland. I have Aspergers/mild autism:(
I would like to make friends that I can talk to right now I am alone everyday and it's very difficult.

I hope I could be a good listener to anyone who needs someone to talk to!
Age/gender/country are not important to me I can talk to anyone.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: braziliansuicidegirl, assisted, LocalAngel and 1 other person
CuriosityAndCat

CuriosityAndCat

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
Nov 2, 2023
314
36M Texas. If you need someone to talk to message me.

I deal with CPTSD. I've had some success with recovery. Also I've started a support discord if you're interested in PTSD or CPTSD recovery.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: moshimoshi, ColorlessTrees, mediocre and 1 other person
Ambivalent1

Ambivalent1

🎵 Be all, end all 🎵
Apr 17, 2023
3,279
🙌 Lend me your energy so I can Spirit Bomb those problems away
 
trashprincess

trashprincess

She/Slur
Aug 8, 2023
186
Not sure if I have the living in me, but I know right now I don't have the dying in me. So since I'm stuck here for until my life gets worse again, I wouldn't mind a solution to my crippling isolation. I do still want to live though, I just don't see how its going to work out. But I think if there's one thing that might help, it would be someone I can connect with. So.. anyone wanna be my friend?

I'm a 31yo Trans Woman from the Mid Atlantic region of USA. I'm disabled with Crohn's Disease, Tendinitis, and various mental disabilities. I come from a very toxic family and that has affected me in a lot of ways. I've never really been able to connect with anyone so I don't even know if this will work, but I need someone in my life. I'm more-or-less friendly, but I am very distant, and tend to worry too much about bothering other people. I want to work on these things but I just wanted to be upfront about it.

I like cycling, math rock, alt/indie Japanese music, smoking weed, Warhammer, Old School RuneScape, animals, cuddles, baking, and coming up with elaborate ideas for things in my head.

I'd love someone that likes to talk a lot. My brain is on fire and I would love someone to listen to until the flames stop. I'd like to watch TV/Movies together. I'm up to play any games my Tendinitis allows (like OSRS), but I'm also up to watch you play videos games. I'd love someone to share music with. I've been waiting my whole life for someone to share my ideas for stories and things with. And I'd like someone to care for, and be cared for by.

Also I'd really like someone who identifies as at least a little "trashy". I spent my childhood looking at porn. My adulthood doing drugs. And for most of my life I was taught toxic=good. I feel a lot more comfortable around people that are a little 'rough around the edges', not to reinforce any of that toxicity, but just to have someone that I can relate to with it.

Ultimately... I've never gotten close to anyone before.. but I'd really like to learn how, if anyone wants to be a part of that.

DM me if you're interested in a chat or a playdate!
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: PointlessVoid, lostforever77, Suicidebydeath and 1 other person
Ociv

Ociv

Don't fear what's in your head
Mar 29, 2024
86
I'm a 22 year old male in Oklahoma, USA.

I'm brand new to this site, and the idea of finding other people like me in this world excites me. I've never had a friend who shared my depressive and often suicidal notions, only ones who get all worried or combative if I even hint at it.

I would love to make a friend that is going through, or has gone through similar things to talk to, and maybe help me figure out some things about myself. I've never been to therapy or sought medical diagnoses, but I think I might be bipolar. If you are, I want to hear your thoughts.

I'd prefer someone around my same age, and I don't care about your gender, though the idea of finding a girl I can connect with on these types of things sounds like it would be a bonus I don't deserve.

Feel free to pm me anything. I prefer to chat in discord if possible.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, terra.nuvo and ColorlessTrees
Z

zi99

Member
Feb 23, 2020
95
I'm a 27 years old female from Central Asia
I recovered from depression long time ago, it started 6 years ago, but now having hard times again, feeling sad sometimes, I guess because of the changes on therapy some time ago, would be glad to meet someone for chatting and mutual support
Interests: listening to music, walking, cafe hopping, sometimes socializing
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent
sundown12

sundown12

drama queen
Oct 5, 2022
149
hi everyone! looking for a recovery partner, someone who is also into spirituality, spirit guides, reincarnation, etc. i'm pretty chill and easy going, just want to talk to someone about mental health and just day-to-day survival, lol. i wouldn't call myself particularly depressed, but i do fight ctb thoughts occasionally, currently trying to recover from that. send me a message if you are interested!!
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: mango-meridian, ChronicPainExistent and Pluto
kovu

kovu

unendlichkeit
Nov 15, 2021
82
Hey-o! It's-a me again, Number 215, I think.

I'm a 20-year-old male from Austria, and I'm attempting an all-out recovery run right now. In my case, that involves getting a new job (semi-done, almost check-marked), ditching a dreadful living situation (not yet achieved), getting a driver's license, new glasses, my teeth fixed... A lot, you could say. I hope to stuff it all into 2024, as this year's supposed to set the tone once and for all—CTB or no CTB. I haven't been able to truly make up my mind before, so I thought I'd give it one last shot, one full-blown, full-scale tackle.

So, that's the sitch. As I'm in recovery mode, I realised that my social life's another area which needs working. I haven't ever been good at that, though. The current tally, after 20 years of living, racks up one (1) single real-life friend, a few new acquaintances at work, and zilch when it comes to online friends. SaSu might be the right place to look to in an attempt to find someone like-minded, I thought.

Re-reading this, I see I haven't exactly sold myself...but if anyone's interested in chatting a wee bit, getting to know one another, discussing whatever comes to mind, I'd be down. And while I'm in recovery, I'm also up for CTB talk, all that. As for casual topics, I love to read (my favourite authors are Stephen King, Andrzej Sapkowski, and J.D. Salinger), write (creatively, mostly fantasy and cyberpunk genre-wise), watch 'The Office', and listen to music. Hit me up if you've read this far!
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: SoulCage and ColorlessTrees
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ Sometimes I'm stressed
Jul 1, 2020
6,829
Hello

Basic Information
I'm a 24yr female from Canada. Wiccan/Healer

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Mental "Complications"
I struggle with cptsd, bpd, severe social anxiety, addiction, and anorexia. (I may be forgetting something).
With bpd can come chronic suicidality. I've already come a long way mentally but because of this I feel this may be as far as I get, living with suicide on the backburner, but I hope to still improve what I can.

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Current Recovery Work
I've been working on myself externally and internally. My current #1 thing is eating, I don't have the energy to do anything without food, my brain isn't getting what it needs rendering me "stupid". I've been working on basic selfcare, brushing my hair/teeth, showering, taking my meds, drinking water. Mentally I've been working on "rewiring" myself. Practicing drawing the line between what matters and doesn't I guess, typical therapy "love yourself and don't pay attention to others" stuff.

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Interests
I enjoy writing/reading (preferably fantasy romance), baking/cooking, nature, art (painting, drawing, doodling) crafting (from small things like jewelry to bigger projects like I want to build a bridge over the pond, an arbour for my bf and I to get married under, a bench to go under the arbour for our first anniversary), gardening, bird watching, astronomy (excited for the eclipse coming up!), and I love all animals.
But I don't do much so I don't have much to talk about..

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Music
My top 3 bands are Shinedown, 3dg and Set It Off. Some honourable mentions are Badflower, Citizen Soldier, Falling in Reverse, Five Finger Death Punch, Get Scared, Halestorm, I Prevail (I could go on. I also like country music, a bit of rap; Hollywood Undead)

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Hopes for the future
As I improve I hope to incorporate walks, exercising, yoga, cleaning, cooking and other interests like local writing/craft/astronomy/ect groups around town. Get my GED, go to "food" college, open a bakery.

.•° ✿ °•. °•. ✿ .•° .•° ✿ °•.

Conclusion
I'm not always the best at responding, I get overwhelmed easy by a lot, but I try to respond. If you have anything you want to talk about, I'll listen just let me know what you're looking for; ideas, a void to scream at, a shoulder for comfort. I personally am hopeful for a "chatting buddy" if not a friend. Someone to check in with every 1-2 days, so I hopefully fall down/relapse a little less. Most people don't seem to like me but the people that "know me" (beyond a few sentences, seen my work ethic/heart/ect) seem to like me so if you want to take a chance on me, my pms are open. (I prefer conversations over the chat please. I probably won't get your notif otherwise)
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, MisplacedGirl, moshimoshi and 2 others
terra.nuvo

terra.nuvo

Student
Feb 15, 2024
176
23M from Virginia, USA looking for a recovery partner. I'm kind of bad at messaging but i'm a good listener if you need to vent and have a space to air out your feelings. Would love to get to know someone who I can go on this recovery journey with.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent and Clowndollie
snunu

snunu

Member
Apr 9, 2024
31
Hi everyone!

I've received some advice on this site that I'd like to see if it could work for me before i decide on anything, and I'd like to have a recovery partner that can keep me accountable on my journey and potentially if things turn out for the better id like to form a lasting friendship

I'm a guy 21y. My interest are videogames, computer science, anime, and I'm very heavy into hip hop and rap.

If you feel interested please hmu and let's help each other out!
 
  • Love
  • Yay!
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, terra.nuvo and HopingOnaMiracle
LocalAngel

LocalAngel

Lost, wanting out.
Feb 7, 2023
216
I'm leaning more towards recovery so i figured i'd post here. I'm from australia, first of all.

24, autistic trans girl with many many mental illnesses, including DID, cPTSD, BIID, Depression and a fuck ton of anxiety.

I'm into yume nikki, shooters, and a bunch of other games. A lot of anime's too. Hit me up if you'd like to be friends- i'd ideally like to have a friend or something more if it happens. :)

Please feel free to message for any reason. c: It would mean a lot to me.
 
  • Hugs
  • Love
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent and Pluto
johann_liebert

johann_liebert

Im freien Fall nach oben
Nov 11, 2023
83
Hey,

I'm from Germany and currently giving my life a second chance. And think it would be cool to be in contact with someone that was (or is) part of the same bottom in life place as you. As I think this would create such a special bond between the people, you could hardly achieve otherwise.

I'm male and just turned 24 years old.

My preferences would be someone around my age, speaking German and who considered CTB for similar reasons like me, to have some sort of initial connection. In my case that would be my mental illnesses and the miserable life they made me life. Especially my OCD and Social Anxiety symptoms.

Feel free to write me if you match my profile and are interested!
 
pleaseiwanttogo

pleaseiwanttogo

I looked everywhere for peace
Sep 11, 2023
40
22yo woman, Brazil, looking for a female or nonbinary recovery partner
Other important info (and I'm saying this bc it happened before): I'm black, lgbt and feminist, if you have any problems or intolerance to any of it, it won't work out

I've wanted to CTB for 9 years, been in therapy for 5y and doing medication treatment for 2,5y, I've done what's expected of me (to try to get better) and still wanted to CTB, but very recently I got myself thinking "maybe a miracle will suddenly happen and I'll want to live", like something deep down started to have some hope. I changed my medication recently and I believe it's becoming effective, so that would be why I'm considered living. I still don't want to live but I decided to try to, maybe somehow I can want and like to live one day. Either way, I will try, I'm curious to what would be like being mentally healthy (even tho I strongly believe I'm never gonna become it). So, basically, I'm skeptical but I'll give life another chance.
That being said, I wish to have a friend to talk about what's going on and who understands the struggle, someone that have been through the same and is also trying to get better.
If you relate, message me, it'll be great to talk to you!
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent
2915Jade

2915Jade

Member
Apr 16, 2024
13
女性,18岁,美国。

我更愿意和与我年龄相仿的人交谈。我会将范围限制在 25。任何性别都可以,只是如果你是个男人,就不要表现得很怪异。我对 LGBT 很友好,我很想认识更多属于这个社区的人(我自己就是个酷儿)。我们可以谈论任何事情,只要不是太奇怪的事情。哦,无论您位于世界哪个地方都没关系。时区可能会让事情变得有点棘手,但我并不介意。

无论如何……来打我吧!
I don't know how to send personal message. Can you message me?
 
Sulyya

Sulyya

Synergist
Mar 6, 2023
542
37m, near Toronto.

Even though I have a good job, car, family etc... depression is wrecking me for the past few years. Found out recently I apparently have aspergers too, though it just seems high enough functioning to have half a decent live built up but it's been upsetting. Even though I don't have any plans for suicide it's on my mind constantly.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent
S

Sonicthehedgehog

New Member
Nov 6, 2023
2
hi, 24 year old from montreal. About the flunk out of uni, no friends no social circle, seriously considering ending it all and would love to speak to someone who might feel the same way
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, touhoufan and assisted
Todsünde

Todsünde

witnessing the battle between my body and my soul
Apr 20, 2024
30
Hey,

I'm a wandering soul, always on the go through the world and travelling as much as I'm able to do. Basically I'm homeless but I don't stay in one place but try to live out there always searching for work and people to meet if I have the strength for it. Usually I'm living in the forest for the most time sleeping in my trusted hammock. I chose this kind of life because I'm not able to live under the conditions of western society.

I'm battling childhood trauma from mental and physical abuse to years of sexual abuse and a lot of shit in-between which would be too much to share here. No real diagnosis because all the psychiatrists gave me a shit load of different opinions and in the end nobody was rly interested in helping since my dissociation is so severe. It's very likely I'm autistic though. My first suicide attempt was at the age of 9 so I guess I'll never get rid of these thoughts but I'm trying everything to keep going. I'm still struggling a lot and the fight against myself and my survival out there is rly tiring which is why I'm not sure if I'll be able to truly recover but yeah I'm trying and for the moment I keep fighting strong.

I love gaming and miss it a lot. Also poetry, books, writing. Just everything telling a story in which shape or form or the content doesn't rly matter I just love storys and can find smth interesting in almost everything. Music is also definitely one of the things that keeps me going and I listen to basically everything depending on the moment. Also different cultures and people always peek my interested and I love hearing storys by them about their life and what makes them the person they are today. I'm struggling with too much social interaction irl really quick though.

Not looking for anyone specific and we'll see if the chemistry is there and we can connect in some way. I'm usually online daily depending if I have money to pay for my SIM or if I have acces to wifi and I can be quite the active writer since social interactions on the internet stress me a lot less than irl and usually I quite enjoy talking and especially listening to stories if I'm in the right mind. So feel free to hmu if you're interested would love to hear from some1.

I'm soon 26, male, originally from germany
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, assisted, ColorlessTrees and 1 other person
Sulyya

Sulyya

Synergist
Mar 6, 2023
542
hi, 24 year old from montreal. About the flunk out of uni, no friends no social circle, seriously considering ending it all and would love to speak to someone who might feel the same way
You won't be able to get or send PMs until you post more unfortunately. Until then maybe post a thread with your story and question in Recovery? Best of luck, keep going 🫂
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent, moshimoshi and carac
L

life360d_on_me

Member
Apr 19, 2024
35
Anybody can always message me. I'll try to get back to you asap.

30/F/Europe

I managed to get out of a very dark place a few years ago and I still struggle with intrusive thoughts but I basically live by choosing unconventional ways now.
How do I message you? It won't work. I'm new to this
25 F USA

Just chatting with anyone would help. I move/travel a lot and it's hard to make real connections with people. Would love to talk to some like minded people and have a real conversation so I can stop having to pretend like everything's great all the time.
I'll do that. Don't know how to send messages tho. I'm new to this.
36M Texas. If you need someone to talk to message me.

I deal with CPTSD. I've had some success with recovery. Also I've started a support discord if you're interested in PTSD or CPTSD recovery.
Sending you a direct message
Late 30s female
I've managed to achieve meaningful recovery after many years of suicidality due to health issues, family rejection, and other life problems which were debilitating and painful. Hobbies include computers, technology, animals, meditation, cooking, finance, self-improvement.

I'm happy to be a sounding board for anyone very interested in trying to get on a better path, or for anyone who wants an accountability partner when they lose motivation or slide into cynicism too deeply. Not looking to meet up irl but online conversations are cool with me. Probably best if you're around my age and not actively suicidal (I'm probably not going to be terribly helpful if you're currently wanting to ctb).
Ill send you a message! Would love this.
29/m/usa Looking to heal the depression. Been very active, gym, sports all my life (athlete in college), successful business.

I got hit with a depressive episode in December, since then its been like dragging weights on my shoulders to do anything. I'm 99% of the time a go-getter. This is different. Looking for anyone (don't even care male/female) to find solutions to this and recover. I'm not buying we are doomed and there's nothing we can do. Message me. Even if you just wanna talk.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent
Ameya

Ameya

A nobody
Mar 22, 2021
130
Hello I am Ameya!

I am 21 F from Germany. I am currently not having many friends nor do I have a work or a job. I am trying to fix those things and it would be great to have someone on my side to share struggles and support each other.
I am a anime fan! I also am into art and history. Additionally I am a digital artist. I don't mind listening to vents and rants. I might not be a good texter but I will always try my best to answer.
I'd like to have someone close my age. Nationality and gender don't matter to me. I'd like someone with a strange sense of humour aswell
If you are interested I'd DM me
 
  • Love
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent and ColorlessTrees
H

hotelbooks113

Member
Nov 2, 2023
6
Hello I am Ameya!

I am 21 F from Germany. I am currently not having many friends nor do I have a work or a job. I am trying to fix those things and it would be great to have someone on my side to share struggles and support each other.
I am a anime fan! I also am into art and history. Additionally I am a digital artist. I don't mind listening to vents and rants. I might not be a good texter but I will always try my best to answer.
I'd like to have someone close my age. Nationality and gender don't matter to me. I'd like someone with a strange sense of humour aswell
If you are interested I'd DM me
Hey I'd like to talk I didn't post enough on my acccount I think to be able to DM people but you can try DMing me
 
  • Like
Reactions: ChronicPainExistent
jujujr

jujujr

Member
Oct 29, 2023
49
Hey, im 19, M and from the UK
Life sucks and I know its going to get worse soon and I haven't got many people I can talk to about certain topics, well, havent got many friends at all so yeah just wanna make some more mates. As long as we are of similar age then yeah DM me :)
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: becfr0g, ChronicPainExistent, SomeBody123 and 4 others
Clowndollie

Clowndollie

Focused on healing 💭
Apr 14, 2024
108
Hi! 18F here. I'd really like someone to talk to, someone who's also working on recovery but also struggling a bit. We can talk about anything honestly, just looking for a friend :)
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: becfr0g, lucifer_yoo, ChronicPainExistent and 6 others