Random thoughts

[Imaginos]

It'd be nice if there were such a thing as a suicide coach. For whatever reason, I just want someone to scream that gif at me. I can't help, but think that maybe it'd help. Then again, such thoughts are already ringing in my head all the time anyway, so, ultimately, I don't know what the point would be. I guess it would just be a huge resolve boost to have a person genuinely & sincerely plead for me to die. If not out of sheer hatred or contempt, then by them simply urging me, in a gentle way, to finally show some mercy to myself. But, it doesn't matter. No one can help me, since I'm not even here. At this point, only my own ghost of life knows I'm here. It haunts me today and it's waiting for me again come tomorrow. Forever haunted by my own ghost, unknown & lost, made invisible by the perpetual darkness I've willingly cloaked myself in. Enh, oh well. I don't know.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't know why people always assume rational and logical thinking is a result of "depression". I can be high or happy and still think ctb is what I must do.

 

[mwu14]

Once again have the urge but I have to hold back. Only time I feel ready to attempt is at night but I can't do it with other people home.

 

[YaYaDr]

Random thoughts:

I thought I was alive, but I was really asleep.
I woke up and then felt alive.
But when the dream ended, my life fell apart.
Now I am awake and can no longer go back to sleep.

 

[millefeui]

Random thoughts:

I thought I was alive, but I was really asleep.
I woke up and then felt alive.
But when the dream ended, my life fell apart.
Now I am awake and can no longer go back to sleep.

Yeah, I know. Waking up from some dreams into this reality is heartbreaking.

 

[Fylobatica]

Recently I've tried to reconnect with a long lost friend. It's been years since we have heard of one another. I wrote to her asking if we could see each other again, but it's 7 days and still no answer. And yes, I know that she's read what I sent because of the double checks on the messaging app. Well, at least I tried, lol. Ridiculous

 

[millefeui]

Recently I've tried to reconnect with a long lost friend. It's been years since we have heard of one another. I wrote to her asking if we could see each other again, but it's 7 days and still no answer. And yes, I know that she's read what I sent because of the double checks on the messaging app. Well, at least I tried, lol. Ridiculous

Hi. That is unfortunate.

I tried reaching to someone back in October, too. Someone I haven't seen in about a decade. I also got no answers. So I can relate.

Such is life.

 

[Maggotymaggots]

I hope you don't mind my just jumping in here.

I've felt so shitty lately, I really don't even know how express it properly. I've never been any good at translating emotions into words. Just hopeless, I guess. It's really been driven home to me lately that I have no good long-term options other than suicide, and my lack of willpower makes me afraid that I won't be able to do it even when shit hits the fan.

I haven't been here in a few months (I mostly just lurked), but I think I've really underestimated the positive effect places like this or the old subreddit had on my mental stability. Just reading some of the threads here has made me feel a bit better. People here see the world for the hellhole it really is. It feels like society continually reinforces the idea that the world is such a wondrous place, and that if your life is shit you only have yourself to blame. If you have a shitty life, you're a shitty person, who's all the shittier for not just up and fixing everything that's wrong with their life.

 

[millefeui]

You are welcome to the thread.

 

[Life sucks]

Social interaction and relationships is a stupid game. Glad I quit it completely. I tried to connect with people I want but never succeed but in other hand there are people who will come down to your throat and you never want them

 

[typx]

I hate myself so much. My past disgusts me. I'm a monster. I slit my own throat 9 years ago and it's taken this long for me to bleed out.

 

[Fylobatica]

Social interaction and relationships is a stupid game. Glad I quit it completely. I tried to connect with people I want but never succeed but in other hand there are people who will come down to your throat and you never want them

This world has gone nuts. The same people that call you a liar believe in a flat Earth or something along the lines. Those who want to live a "weird" lifestyle are the first who point the finger at you if something you propose to do together is "too off of their mindset".

 

[millefeui]

Man, I had to have a dachshund of all kinds of dog. One of the breeds with the longest life spam. Don't get me wrong, I love my dog, but she is the reason I am stuck in this life, so it is such a conflicting feeling. I so want death. I could die today if I had the chance, but I don't want to leave her behind and I would never, ever ever kill her (unless she gets sick to the point healing isn't an option — in which case I would put her down to ease her suffering, and of course exponentially increase mine... temporarily, anyways).

 

[M0D]

Just sharing a thought i have now ... The pizza box is square.The pizza is a circle.The slice a triangle.

 

[SexualChocolate]

I love food more than i love people.

 

[+ + + +]

my day - wake up - smoke - turn on computer - sanctionedsuicide, the suicide project, read all the threads, think about posting something, never do this, stay invisible in places you visit, feel scared to post, that's 2 hours, nothing to do, tired, numb and anhedonic, smoke, stare at the stealing, eat a little, but food doesn't taste good, read reddit, but don't care actually what i read, go to walk with dog, stalk ex, his sharing his love with this girl, knife in heart, stare at the stealing, all day long numb, tired of this room, dead inside, refresh sanctioned suicide, end of the day.

 

[millefeui]

I wish there were proofs of nonexistence. It would give me some peace during those remaining years I still have to live.

 

[PsychoPyro]

I think the idea of killing yourself shakes the foundation of what a lot of people have to support themselves and endure all the nonsense life throws at you. They brainwash themselves into believing life is good, the world is beautiful, etc and it is worth fighting for it, but then... Someone chooses to die and that belief is suddenly shaken... If life is so good, why would someone choose to end it sooner? So instead of trying to understand and accept suicide as a normal thing, they choose the easier route: To demonize and condemn the act.

This was incredibly well put.

 

[Michel Angelo]

I wish there were proofs of nonexistence. It would give me some peace during those remaining years I still have to live.

well, the proofs that do exist / that are popular are kinda dumb anyways, like Descarte's ontological argument, you've probably heard it - cogito ergo sum (i think, therefore i am) you could figure out a way to invert such, that'd be interesting and probably buy you a ticket to anywhere you'd want to go - including nonexistence.

 

[Fylobatica]

I wish there were proofs of nonexistence. It would give me some peace during those remaining years I still have to live.

It has been debated more than once there, but considering how our brain evolved, you shouldn't be afraid that much.
All evidence points out to the fact that to be ourselves we need an organized, working and sustainable physical structure ( = the brain)

Once it's dismantled, it's over, just like you cannot ask a dead person's muscles to regain full control on metabolism and contraction

 

[millefeui]

It has been debated more than once there, but considering how our brain evolved, you shouldn't be afraid that much.
All evidence points out to the fact that to be ourselves we need an organized, working and sustainable physical structure ( = the brain)

Once it's dismantled, it's over, just like you cannot ask a dead person's muscles to regain full control on metabolism and contraction

You speak of evidence, but there is none, really. I don't disagree that once the brain is dead = the end is a likely scenario, but the point is that there is no proof. Nothing.

 

[Fylobatica]

You speak of evidence, but there is none, really. I don't disagree that once the brain is dead = the end is a likely scenario, but the point is that there is no proof. Nothing.

Problem is, why do you assume that life should go on in one way or another?
It's just curiosity-- I know that humanity has always entertained this thought, which I've always found quite strange because it stems basically from fear of nothingness

 

[Tiburcio]

I wish I could feed myself with sunlight, like plants. Everything would be easier. No more worries about how I should eat for not having an unbalance. No more intestinal problems. No more being concerned for tortured animals who I need to eat because my body seriously depends of proteines. No more eating vegetables that taste like crap. No more eating fish that could be rotten making me very sick. No more time wasted cooking. No more NOTHING. I won't need even money. I could be the whole day sunbathing carefreely enjoying the sunlight. I don't care being homeless if I could be constantly travelling, slowly exploring the world with solar light giving me all the energy I need to continue. Maybe I won't be suicidal anylonger. Sounds relaxing...

Edit: I keep a long time in the toilet with belly aches probably caused by an indigestion because of food. This won't happen with my dear sunlight.

 

[Revan]

I sometimes wonder if VR will ever get to the point of Sword Art Online. Maybe if we find a way to induce lucid dreaming we can also manipulate the dream into the being the virtual environment of a game by manipulating the signals in the brain, then we send the signals from the brain to a system (which houses the game and sends the information to the lucid dreamer) then a server and back to the system and person. I've read of devices that allow unconscious patients communicate in a manner similar to this. I've also read that we can control robotics using our mind as well, so maybe it is possible?

 

[Tiburcio]

I constantly see people sharing stuff they like with others, or simply enjoying when they do something... But I don'l like anything. Literally anything. It does me feel more boring and meaningless.

Seeimg how all the other persons have hobbies or good tastes is the only thing in the world that can make me feel envy.

 

[Fylobatica]

Seeimg how all the other persons have hobbies or good tastes is the only thing in the world that can make me feel envy

People have hobbies, but they definitely haven't good tastes, IMO. Just look at mainstream music top charts, it's kind of dystopic.

-50% less envy.

 

[Tiburcio]

People have hobbies, but they definitely haven't good tastes, IMO. Just look at mainstream music top charts, it's kind of dystopic.

-50% less envy.

Surprisingly this was enough for making me feeling better. Thank you I think...

 

[millefeui]

As someone who have had the same hobbies for her entire life: They help less and less with time, if you are a suicidal person, at least. I wish I could have pursued a career in one of my hobbies, but I was neither born at the right time, nor at the right place, nor in the right body. Oh well.

 

[Tiburcio]

As someone who have had the same hobbies for her entire life: They help less and less with time, if you are a suicidal person, at least. I wish I could have pursued a career in one of my hobbies, but I was neither born at the right time, nor at the right place, nor in the right body. Oh well.

Your answer also helped me, but I think I shouldn't beel better for this. I mean, you're suffering. I can't be happy for the other's misfortune.

 

[I've waited so long]

My Random Thought Today, Is How Much Would it Cost To Only Eat Potato Skins From TGI Friday's Fro Breakfest-DInner? i'm stupid. :P