Venting I know that I need to go outside more but it's just hard

[darkdarkdark]

My doctor and my parents always say that I should go outside more and walk around.
The fun part is my depression just makes me wanna stay inside.
I can't get out of bed.
Today, I woke up at 6:00am and it took an hour for me to get myself out of the bed.
Then, I cleaned my room and lost all the energy.
I can't function...
I just can't
I know I sound like a lose and I am.
I'm not even paying the rent for my apartment because I lost my job.
I am a financial and emotional burden to my family and I just want to be over with this.

I know that I should take advantage of the time while I stay in Seoul but it's just too hard.

I don't even have the energy to ctb.
I just feel so empty

 

[CTB Fella]

The fact that you had energy to clean your room, is "promising."

I had to clean the other day/week ... can't remember, and it was like I'd climbed a mountain. Not in that I'd "achieved" something, but that I felt completely exhausted afterward.

I'd say that energy sucking is the biggest drawback of depression. I mean, if I/you/we had energy, at least we could try.

Know what I mean?

I'm planning on ODing (again) today, but it hasn't triggered just yet.

Wish me luck x.

 

[darkdarkdark]

The fact that you had energy to clean your room, is "promising."

I had to clean the other day/week ... can't remember, and it was like I'd climbed a mountain. Not in that I'd "achieved" something, but that I felt completely exhausted afterward.

I'd say that energy sucking is the biggest drawback of depression. I mean, if I/you/we had energy, at least we could try.

Know what I mean?

I'm planning on ODing (again) today, but it hasn't triggered just yet.

Wish me luck x.

I wish you luck.

 

[CTB Fella]

I wish you luck.

Reciprocated.

 

[Illidan77]

I have the same struggle.. i think my anxiety is more dominant.. took many hours just to get out and get things done..
I'm also unemployed..
I have to retook my benzo & Concerta to get myself moving..
I've been managing it without meds by meditating but I haven't done it again.
Idk if it helps, but you can try awareness exercise, focus on breathes and small physical movement to convert the heavy cloud mind but it's a struggle and process.
Wish you okay

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound really tiring what you have to go through, I do get that it's certainly a struggle to do anything when you have no energy, at least the way that I see it, it can be such a burden feeling trapped in this human body. But anyway, I wish you the best.