Should I tell them the truth ? I need your advice

[unluckysadness]

Some people here know that I'd like to ask for euthanasia. I'd like to be honest with my family and tell them the truth with my plans.

Is anyone here in the same situation ? I mean, did you ask for euthanasia and what did do you with your family ? Did you openly talk about it ?

Today is another miserable day with a lot of pain and isolation. I just come back from the supermarket to buy some food for the weekend (to eat alone in front of my TV, miserably). And it was just like an olympic event. A lot of spams I can't hide and so much physical pain. It's humiliating. When I came back home, I saw happy healthy people (it's sunny here) and it makes me just more wanting to die.

I tell you that because my family will probably read my posts after my death (I hope they will, so they can see the real me). I just took a valium to calm a little bit the spasms. Is it an acceptable life ? NO. I was even thinking "I'm maybe TOO STRONG". I mean, my mind and body are fucked but have still energy to continue this shit. I wish my body was weaker so I could have a natural ending.

Thanks for reading and sorry to bother you with my vents but I have no one to talk about it and it's fucking hard since too many years. I'm so grateful for having this forum.

P.S. : I'm just remembering that my old doctor when I was a kid is still alive and is pro-choice (member of a right-to-die organization). If I contact him, is it too risky ? Could he send me to a psych ward ? Should I take the risk to call him ? (I'm only 43). I'm so tired to have all these interrogations in my mind.

 

[SASU-KE]

I think you should talk to them for your sake, not theirs. Bawl your eyes out and Talk to them.
Explain everything. I am sure they won't go along with it. I mean, how can they?

Even if they understand, they won't go along with it, but it will ease the process for them. Because they are getting a warning beforehand . They will also understand ahead of time. So yeah, talk to them.

It will take time for them to understand and accept, but I think they will slowly understand at least to a degree.

 

[unluckysadness]

I think you should talk to them for your sake, not theirs. Bawl your eyes out and Talk to them.
Explain everything. I am sure they won't go along with it. I mean, how can they?

Even if they understand, they won't go along with it, but it will ease the process for them. Because they are getting a warning beforehand . They will also understand ahead of time. So yeah, talk to them.

Thanks for your advice. I don't really fear the fact to tell them the truth, but I fear thier reaction. In my country it's so easy to put someone in psych ward against his will. My parents are weird people and I don't trust them 100%. They lied to me so many times for important things. And if psych ward happens, it will mean my death for sure because I have huge anxiety / OCD / panic attacks.

i think I'll start the process with Athanasios. They ask CHF 100.- just for gettnig a reply, but they surely have other cases like me and could give me some advices too. In an ideal way, I'd like to tell them slowly (step by step). Maybe by posting an article talking about euthanasia on my Facebook account ?

I'm really grateful for your help if you have some ideas. I need to be 100% sure they won't harm me with psych ward (my paranoia doesn't help). Or should I talk about it to my psychologist ? She's great and I trust her more than my family (but she can send me to psych ward too...)

I've just found an article talking about it. It may help other people in my case. If you find other content (video or articles, don't hesitate to share it with me). Many thanks I'm so grateful having you.

Telling family and friends

www.virtualhospice.ca

 

[SASU-KE]

I'm really grateful for your help if you have some ideas. I need to be 100% sure they won't harm me with psych ward (my paranoia doesn't help). Or should I talk about it to my psychologist ? She's great and I trust her more than my family (but she can send me to psych ward too...)

I'm sorry. If you don't trust them, I think you should go with your gut. I feel like it would be healthier if you had their support. It would also be emotionally much better.

But if you are concerned that they may commit you, then that's a legitimate problem.

You don't deserve the psych ward. You're a normal person who's suffering. That much is obvious.Also, with your issues, I'm sure you'll suffer tremendously in such a place.

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm sorry. If you don't trust them, I think you should go with your gut. I feel like it would be healthier if you had their support. It would also be emotionally much better.

But if you are concerned that they may commit you, then that's a legitimate problem.

You don't deserve the psych ward. You're a normal person who's suffering. That much is obvious.Also, with your issues, I'm sure you'll suffer tremendously in such a place.

Thanks you SO MUCH Your words are really helpful and they give me a little bit relief. I'm so grateful for having lovely people like you.

 

[tooafraidtodiez]

I told my parents i wanted euthanasia, but none of them agree despite my horrible condition. And now here i am waiting to test my SN. I kind of hated my parents for it. They are the God will find a way for you type, AKA just suffer whatever happens, we don't want to deal with the legality and reputation problems. If your parents are this type maybe better not to tell them, esp if you plan to buy SN someday. My situation is so bad that i probably have the courage to drink that SN

 

[unluckysadness]

I told my parents i wanted euthanasia, but none of them agree despite my horrible condition. And now here i am waiting to test my SN. I kind of hated my parents for it. They are the God will find a way for you type, AKA just suffer whatever happens, we don't want to deal with the legality and reputation problems. If your parents are this type maybe better not to tell them, esp if you plan to buy SN someday. My situation is so bad that i probably have the courage to drink that SN

I'm really sorry or your situation. It seems quite similar to mine.

In fact it's logical for parents to disagree. Nobody wants to lose children (I'm a middle aged guy but still a kid for my mother - and she treats me like a kid...). I have SN all all the stuff, but as I think I'm eligible to euthanasia, I'd prefere this method as it's peaceful. In an ideal world, I could have access to N and die peacefully in my apartment without dying with a profit-maker organization in a foreign country.

i hope you'll find peace soon too

 

[TAW122]

There is always a risk of opening up to family, people in power, or just almost anyone with the ability to intervene, interfere, or obstruct one's intention to cease to be. I would say, if you have SN, do NOT admit to it to people IRL because they may be hellbent on trying to take away ANY means to DIY CTB or so, while also denying (and they lack the ability as well as to give) an acceptable (to your standards) quality of life to continue to exist. People are way too paternalistic and overreactive nowadays (and likely even moreso as time goes on) towards any hint, sign, or warning of CTB, even if one has the legal eligibility for a dignified exit. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you decide to take.

 

[EndlessRage]

Some people here know that I'd like to ask for euthanasia. I'd like to be honest with my family and tell them the truth with my plans.

Is anyone here in the same situation ? I mean, did you ask for euthanasia and what did do you with your family ? Did you openly talk about it ?

Today is another miserable day with a lot of pain and isolation. I just come back from the supermarket to buy some food for the weekend (to eat alone in front of my TV, miserably). And it was just like an olympic event. A lot of spams I can't hide and so much physical pain. It's humiliating. When I came back home, I saw happy healthy people (it's sunny here) and it makes me just more wanting to die.

I tell you that because my family will probably read my posts after my death (I hope they will, so they can see the real me). I just took a valium to calm a little bit the spasms. Is it an acceptable life ? NO. I was even thinking "I'm maybe TOO STRONG". I mean, my mind and body are fucked but have still energy to continue this shit. I wish my body was weaker so I could have a natural ending.

Thanks for reading and sorry to bother you with my vents but I have no one to talk about it and it's fucking hard since too many years. I'm so grateful for having this forum.

P.S. : I'm just remembering that my old doctor when I was a kid is still alive and is pro-choice (member of a right-to-die organization). If I contact him, is it too risky ? Could he send me to a psych ward ? Should I take the risk to call him ? (I'm only 43). I'm so tired to have all these interrogations in my mind.

You should be honest with them, hiding will only make it worse.

 

[unluckysadness]

There is always a risk of opening up to family, people in power, or just almost anyone with the ability to intervene, interfere, or obstruct one's intention to cease to be. I would say, if you have SN, do NOT admit to it to people IRL because they may be hellbent on trying to take away ANY means to DIY CTB or so, while also denying (and they lack the ability as well as to give) an acceptable (to your standards) quality of life to continue to exist. People are way too paternalistic and overreactive nowadays (and likely even moreso as time goes on) towards any hint, sign, or warning of CTB, even if one has the legal eligibility for a dignified exit. I hope you find peace in whatever decision you decide to take.

Thanks for your reply. I will never talk about SN to people IRL. I have a paranoid personality so I'm very careful about it.

 

[pkeylimepie]

I'm sorry you're in pain and suffering, but also that you're compassionate enough to still think of your family while you're suffering. I'd echo the others in this thread and trust your gut on this, if you don't fully trust how they'll react or how they'll approach this issue you might not want to disclose.

It is totally up to you. Just a suggestion but maybe you'd want to test their reaction or receptivity with something a little more low stakes or distant first before you decide what you want to disclose. (Hugs) I hope it works out for you.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

just remember the potentional consequences of telling someone... they HAVE to report it, no matter how nice a doctor is to you.

 

[mementomorii]

Hi, I'm not sure what specific condition you have/are dealing with, but I had debilitating chronic pain for a while, and I talked honestly with my family about it, making me suicidal more than once. They were supportive and did not commit me. Of course, I have no idea what your family is like, but if there's a legal process to euthanasia for people with health issues where you live, definitely pursue it. Oh my gosh, I'd much rather go peacefully with no pain or risk of failure in a hospital room with someone actually holding my hand, even if it was just a nurse. Sending you love and peace.

 

[peacebenow]

It depends on the ability of your family to accept reality and be able to handle it or if they prefer existing in denialism.

 

[Redacted24]

There is an article on NPR about how a woman used a service to make her exit.

The title is "How A Woman's Plan To Kill Herself Helped Her Family Grieve"
June 23, 2014

To my thinking, it's a story about how things should be, and could. Maybe it'll help your thoughts?