I don't have any other choices but to die

[VividMemories]

My only destiny is to find the quickest way to get out of here before things get worse and end up being in a much worse state than i could ever imagine. There's literally no other options for me i tried anything i could but nothing worked all of that shit that i tried was pure copium to keep myself alive and i despise myself so much for forcing myself to endure these years of suffering just for what? To expect that things will get better some day but no they didn't i just fooled myself because i was too stupid to realize that there is no other options and things won't ever get better. I have nothing left and when i say that i mean NOTHING because i never reached any of my goals that could make my life better and i didn't make actual friends irl. I lost all of my motivation i don't have any motivation to reach my hopes or at least do anything all of my hopes are ripped away from me forever there's nothing i can do besides finding a way.

 

[zrk]

Good luck soldier

 

[tonicer]

How far did you make it? I am 43 now and besides my parents i have no reason to keep going. I am somewhat glad that they are both 80+ so i don't have to wait very long until both are gone. I just can't do it before them. It would break their heart and they don't deserve this. Both were always good to me. I tried getting my life in order but i am the unluckiest person in the world. No job, no girlfriend, no friends, no money, no car, no purpose.

 

[zrk]

How far did you make it? I am 43 now and besides my parents i have no reason to keep going. I am somewhat glad that they are both 80+ so i don't have to wait very long until both are gone. I just can't do it before them. It would break their heart and they don't deserve this. Both were always good to me. I tried getting my life in order but i am the unluckiest person in the world. No job, no girlfriend, no friends, no money, no car, no purpose.

Jeez, how do you get by without any job or income?

 

[VividMemories]

How far did you make it? I am 43 now and besides my parents i have no reason to keep going. I am somewhat glad that they are both 80+ so i don't have to wait very long until both are gone. I just can't do it before them. It would break their heart and they don't deserve this. Both were always good to me. I tried getting my life in order but i am the unluckiest person in the world. No job, no girlfriend, no friends, no money, no car, no purpose.

I didn't make it too far and i won't but how do your parents let you live like this if you don't have an income to keep you alive at least

 

[tonicer]

Jeez, how do you get by without any job or income?

I'm a parasite and live of my mother pension plus i barely spend any money. It makes me feel even more of a loser and increases my suicidal thoughts. I am applying for jobs all the time and have a really good chance to finally get chosen by the last place i had an interview at.

 

[PanaxMan]

My only destiny is to find the quickest way to get out of here before things get worse and end up being in a much worse state than i could ever imagine. There's literally no other options for me i tried anything i could but nothing worked all of that shit that i tried was pure copium to keep myself alive and i despise myself so much for forcing myself to endure these years of suffering just for what? To expect that things will get better some day but no they didn't i just fooled myself because i was too stupid to realize that there is no other options and things won't ever get better. I have nothing left and when i say that i mean NOTHING because i never reached any of my goals that could make my life better and i didn't make actual friends irl. I lost all of my motivation i don't have any motivation to reach my hopes or at least do anything all of my hopes are ripped away from me forever there's nothing i can do besides finding a way.

For real as I'm doing my method now. It's suffering but I'm too much of a pussy to deal with alot of pain first

 

[tonicer]

I didn't make it too far and i won't but how do your parents let you live like this if you don't have an income to keep you alive at least

My mom is a saint and lets me live in her place. I help her a lot with chores and garden work. I am actively looking for a job but so far no luck. The last place i had an interview at might be the one that chooses me.

 

[Sept1stismyenemy]

I completely understand and agree, I also feel like everything I have had to do, spending time in the hospital, years of therapy, never attending school has pushed me even further into this idea that my only option is death.

 

[SDB]

How far did you make it? I am 43 now and besides my parents i have no reason to keep going. I am somewhat glad that they are both 80+ so i don't have to wait very long until both are gone. I just can't do it before them. It would break their heart and they don't deserve this. Both were always good to me. I tried getting my life in order but i am the unluckiest person in the world. No job, no girlfriend, no friends, no money, no car, no purpose.

My state is similar and Im 45. I dont want a GF have a car, I do have some money but being unemployed for 6 years is breaking me, a few contracts fixes nothing? How did you find yourself in this position?

 

[tonicer]

My state is similar and Im 45. I dont want a GF have a car, I do have some money but being unemployed for 6 years is breaking me, a few contracts fixes nothing? How did you find yourself in this position?

I made one bad decision after the other. I had a chance when i turned 18 to have my dad pay for a drivers license but i was a very timid kid so i declined and got an expensive microscope instead which is cool but in hindsight it was a dumb decision. I also studied most of my adult life and have almost no work experience. I wish i got an apprenticeship instead. Studying only costs money but doesn't prepare you for the real world. Now i am highly educated but nobody wants to hire me because i have no experience and getting an internship at my age is almost impossible too. I am going to end it all once my parents are gone because i don't see any way out of this ... "dead end". I would need a miracle.

 

[Front Back]

Ain't judge much but you can always opt to run to somewhere if you ain't a disable or such. whatever you do or hopes thou, may peace be on you.

 

[SDB]

I made one bad decision after the other. I had a chance when i turned 18 to have my dad pay for a drivers license but i was a very timid kid so i declined and got an expensive microscope instead which is cool but in hindsight it was a dumb decision. I also studied most of my adult life and have almost no work experience. I wish i got an apprenticeship instead. Studying only costs money but doesn't prepare you for the real world. Now i am highly educated but nobody wants to hire me because i have no experience and getting an internship at my age is almost impossible too. I am going to end it all once my parents are gone because i don't see any way out of this ... "dead end". I would need a miracle.

Sounds nearly identical to me, tons of schooling limited experience changing job market. I've applied to about 5k jobs in 6 years only get contracts. Too old to go back to school as well. I'm pretty much cooked too. I see no way out BA B.Sc MBA. Do you apply endlessly online and get nothing? What did you study?

I cant wait for my parents to pass, I have to go soon. Everyday is a living hell

 

[tonicer]

Sounds nearly identical to me, tons of schooling limited experience changing job market. I've applied to about 5k jobs in 6 years only get contracts. Too old to go back to school as well. I'm pretty much cooked too. I see no way out BA B.Sc MBA. Do you apply endlessly online and get nothing? What did you study?

I cant wait for my parents to pass, I have to go soon. Everyday is a living hell

Yeah i apply all the time. I get interviews but that's it. I studied computer science and also got some important certificates.

My parents are 79 and 87 with rapidly declining health. If i don't find another reason to live i end it once both are gone.

Why is everyday hell for you? I just feel like shit all the time, mentally i am physically pretty healthy.

 

[SDB]

Yeah i apply all the time. I get interviews but that's it. I studied computer science and also got some important certificates.

My parents are 79 and 87 with rapidly declining health. If i don't find another reason to live i end it once both are gone.

Why is everyday hell for you? I just feel like shit all the time, mentally i am physically pretty healthy.

Everyday is hell as I apply around and find literally nothing, interviews that go nowhere, nothing. I sold my house as my EI ran out and now I have my stuff packed in my mom's dingy apartment and living with her in a tiny 1 bedroom. She has two stinky smelly dogs, that as OCD clean freak drives me nuts so I stick in one room to avoid the mess. Shes a slob too the floor is coverved with dog waste and pee pads Im stuck also in the rural redneck part of Canada with a prior work history doing big city things. So hardly any jobs here will fit. I see jobs that I apply to with more experience in, but then I check ( linkedin) to find they hired waitress instead....... unbelievable. Why am I getting passed over for people like that? Yet they say I don't have enough experience. Its nuts I've worked in 5 financial services firms, but no the waitress or former hockey coach gets the job. I dont get it.

Im pumped up on Zopiclone all day to keep my mood in check.Then Apply to another few thousand jobs and hear nothing.Hopefully one of these remote jobs come through. Tons of jobs I qualify for I never hear back from.... I don't get it. Its been 6 years almost.

All my stuff is in boxes in this tiny apartment dodging dog waste . Every appliance is busted, this walls. Weirdos everywhere . Its disgusting. I constantly apply and cant get out of it and I have tried every ingle thing there is. Networking recruiters etc.

My mother has dementia as well, she's losing it. The only reason Im living is a few video games I want to play that are coming out. Other than that I dont care.

Im assembling the SN protocol kit. I want to die so badly and likely will soon.

My mom is a saint and lets me live in her place. I help her a lot with chores and garden work. I am actively looking for a job but so far no luck. The last place i had an interview at might be the one that chooses me.

Did you get it? trying applying to remote sales or customer service jobs

 

[tonicer]

Everyday is hell as I apply around and find literally nothing, interviews that go nowhere, nothing. I sold my house as my EI ran out and now I have my stuff packed in my mom's dingy apartment and living with her in a tiny 1 bedroom. She has two stinky smelly dogs, that as OCD clean freak drives me nuts so I stick in one room to avoid the mess. Shes a slob too the floor is coverved with dog waste and pee pads Im stuck also in the rural redneck part of Canada with a prior work history doing big city things. So hardly any jobs here will fit. I see jobs that I apply to with more experience in, but then I check ( linkedin) to find they hired waitress instead....... unbelievable. Why am I getting passed over for people like that? Yet they say I don't have enough experience. Its nuts I've worked in 5 financial services firms, but no the waitress or former hockey coach gets the job. I dont get it.

Im pumped up on Zopiclone all day to keep my mood in check.Then Apply to another few thousand jobs and hear nothing.Hopefully one of these remote jobs come through. Tons of jobs I qualify for I never hear back from.... I don't get it. Its been 6 years almost.

All my stuff is in boxes in this tiny apartment dodging dog waste . Every appliance is busted, this walls. Weirdos everywhere . Its disgusting. I constantly apply and cant get out of it and I have tried every ingle thing there is. Networking recruiters etc.

My mother has dementia as well, she's losing it. The only reason Im living is a few video games I want to play that are coming out. Other than that I dont care.

Im assembling the SN protocol kit. I want to die so badly and likely will soon.

Did you get it? trying applying to remote sales or customer service jobs

I'm sorry to hear that. You have it worse than me except that you at least have some work experience even if it doesn't do you any good. I can understand why you don't want to wait for your parents to go first. You have my sympathies.

The last place i had an interview at are telling for two weeks that internal stuff is taking place and they need more time for the process. In other "fuck you" i guess. I'll still obviously wait for their answer if it ever comes.

 

[SDB]

I would send a follow up always send a follow up email especially if it has been two weeks

I cant wait until they die. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks when I off myself. I simply don't care about them like them or want them around me in anyway shape or form. They aren't great people, They should have had kids.

By what you are telling me I dont think I have it worse, but I think its similar

 

[SDB]

I'm sorry to hear that. You have it worse than me except that you at least have some work experience even if it doesn't do you any good. I can understand why you don't want to wait for your parents to go first. You have my sympathies.

The last place i had an interview at are telling for two weeks that internal stuff is taking place and they need more time for the process. In other "fuck you" i guess. I'll still obviously wait for their answer if it ever comes.

My work experience is fine but trading is saturated, too firms either merged or bailed and allot of the HR fools dont see the transferable skills when applying to new jobs. It's madness.its impossible to get out of this. I've had about 10 jobs total. I cant keep wasting life applying on indeed. I won't make it much longer. Sitting on indeed all day is no way to live life. I'd rather be dead and I'm putting that plan together.

I don't even like my family at all so I don't care about what they would think. They don't even register

 

[tonicer]

My work experience is fine but trading is saturated, too firms either merged or bailed and allot of the HR fools dont see the transferable skills when applying to new jobs. It's madness.its impossible to get out of this. I've had about 10 jobs total. I cant keep wasting life applying on indeed. I won't make it much longer. Sitting on indeed all day is no way to live life. I'd rather be dead and I'm putting that plan together.

I don't even like my family at all so I don't care about what they would think. They don't even register

Yeah if my parents weren't so nice to me i would have done it already. At the moment i stopped looking for more places to apply to. I guess i am burned out from it all. I'll take a week or two ... maybe even a month of downtime.

 

[SDB]

Yeah if my parents weren't so nice to me i would have done it already. At the moment i stopped looking for more places to apply to. I guess i am burned out from it all. I'll take a week or two ... maybe even a month of downtime.

How long have you been looking for? How many would you apply to in a day do estimate?

 

[tonicer]

How long have you been looking for? How many would you apply to in a day do estimate?

Basically since my stepfather closed his company so about 4 years now. I am kinda burned out right now but in my best time i send out about 5-10 applications a day.