nothing feels real right now

[Leonard_Bangley39]

im laying in my bed. my head feels loopy and floaty. i can't stop thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. i want nothing. but i don't mean i don't want anything. i want literally nothing. nothingness. i wish this exact moment could be my only existence. i don't want to get up. i don't want to try anymore. i don't want to work. i don't want to hurt. i don't want to see. i don't want to feel. i just want to lay in bed and drift asleep for eternity in this exact moment. where nothing else exists. where nothing else matters. where eventually i stop existing
.

i have nothing. i have nothing. i have nothing. I've always had nothing. everything i had something, it was ripped away from me. everytime i had friends growing up, i was forced to switch schools or move. everytime i began to build myself up, i was forced to leave everything behind and fend for myself. everytime i felt a connection, i did something wrong and destroyed it. how many times can a person lose everything before accepting that they will always have nothing. i wasn't built for this reality. i wasn't meant to exist in this world. i have nothing and nobody. people think they care but it never feels real. when things get hard they'll get annoyed or sick of me and eventually I'll do something to fuck it all up and make them hate me again and I'll go back to having nothing. ill always go back to having nothing. that's just the way it's supposed to be. i love you

 

[Wojaczek]

some people just aren't meant to win

 

[youremy]

i relate to your words so much

 

[Leonard_Bangley39]

.

im nothing but a failure. a failure. I've always been a failure. since the very day i was born into this world I've been doomed to failure. everyone around me succeeded, prospered and flourished. but i alone stumbled and collapsed through no fault other than my own. a failure. everyone won, and i failed. everyone had friends, and i was alone. everyone got good grades, and i was average. everyone had fun, and i was secluded. everyone found love, and i just watched. everyone got good degrees, and i dropped out. everyone got good jobs and careers, and i was stuck in retail. everyone around me is living the dream and I'm sick in a nightmare. i am trapped in hell and all around me all i can see is heaven. forever a prisoner in a tomb of my own creation, for as long as time can remember. was i born to be doomed? was there a moment in my life where i could have taken a different path? where i could've became the version of myself i do desperately wish i could've became? or was it always meant to be this way? yes, i feel that from the day i was born , no, from the very instant i was conceived, i was doomed to be this way.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

im laying in my bed. my head feels loopy and floaty. i can't stop thinking of everything and nothing at the same time. i want nothing. but i don't mean i don't want anything. i want literally nothing. nothingness. i wish this exact moment could be my only existence. i don't want to get up. i don't want to try anymore. i don't want to work. i don't want to hurt. i don't want to see. i don't want to feel. i just want to lay in bed and drift asleep for eternity in this exact moment. where nothing else exists. where nothing else matters. where eventually i stop existing
.

i have nothing. i have nothing. i have nothing. I've always had nothing. everything i had something, it was ripped away from me. everytime i had friends growing up, i was forced to switch schools or move. everytime i began to build myself up, i was forced to leave everything behind and fend for myself. everytime i felt a connection, i did something wrong and destroyed it. how many times can a person lose everything before accepting that they will always have nothing. i wasn't built for this reality. i wasn't meant to exist in this world. i have nothing and nobody. people think they care but it never feels real. when things get hard they'll get annoyed or sick of me and eventually I'll do something to fuck it all up and make them hate me again and I'll go back to having nothing. ill always go back to having nothing. that's just the way it's supposed to be. i love you

But if you have nothing, you have nothing to lose

 

[iwkmsssb]

i wish i could reach the state i was in before i was ever born, just nothing. nothing will hurt anymore.