Method Goodbye - SN

[rj3542]

I'm set for SN tonight. I'll post my protocol below with some other things I did to make it more comfortable. I'm really grateful for these forums and chat Hope there will be something that is helpful to others to have a peaceful release from suffering.

Questions I've been thinking about that everyone should ask themselves:
How determined am I? (Very, been in the process for months and contemplating for 35 years.)
What happens if I fail? (Backup is nitrogen)
Will I call for help? (Absolutely not, can't handle going to inpatient psych again)
What will I focus on as I'm dying, ie spiritually, to help guide me? (Going someplace peaceful and calm with no suffering)

Protocol
5p - 6 hours before start fasting,.set up bedroom, get trashbag in case I vomit, put lozenges and gum by bed

Set up all med dosages in cups marked with time, set out SN and scale

9p - 2 hours before stop fluids; add electric blanket to bed and warm up bed in case I get cold

9p - 2 hours before 60mg Pepcid (debatable but is a regular med and will reduce reflux) 400 mg.propranol

10p - 1 hr before: 50mg tramadol for pain reliever

10:15 45 min before 3x30 mg meto + 8 mg Zofran
Consider additional 400mg propranolol if haven't noticed anything from earlier dose

Log out of SS, erase browser history,

10:30 - 30 mins before Crush benzos, dissolve in little water (2 tabs valium, 4 tabs Xanax, 16 tabs Ativan)

10:45 - 15 mins drink benzos, hold in mouth for quicker absorption - idea is for it to hit me when SN does

10:50 - 10 mins before measure out 25 + 25 +24 grams SN and 3 cups 100 ml water each

10:55 - 5 mins before: mix SN in water, use lozenge to numb throat

11:00 - drink glass 1 SN drink in 2-3 gulp; lozenge to remove taste and reduce gagging
If vomiting occurs, drink 2nd cup
If vomiting occurs again, drink 3rd cup

Please wish me luck for a peaceful transition

 

[1043169]

I hope you find peace in your journey. Best of luck.

 

[bloodystarzklt]

Good luck<3 may you find peace !

 

[_Minsk]

Sounds as peaceful as it can get, best of luck. I hope you find peace from all this suffering

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Peace to you<3 Safe travels.

 

[Nikitatos]

Good luck! I hope it all goes well. You've obviously put a lot of thought into your decision.

 

[Minsu]

Everytime I read any goodbye threads my anxiety goes sky high :(

But hope you find peace and your transition will be as peaceful as possible

 

[divinemistress36]

I hope you have a peaceful journey

 

[rj3542]

Took 400mg propranolol (10 tabs) about 30 mins ago. It's a lot on an empty stomach, but I feel really chill and mellow as well as a bit distant from everything. There is some fear about pain and this not working but it feels farther away. May make it easier to go through with everything. Slight headache, maybe from low BP. Haven't taken it yet.

Didn't expect it to hit me so quickly. I'm retrospect, it would be better taken with the meto closer to time for SN. I'd also take it more slowly since it's so make pills.

I'm glad I laid everything out ahead of time and have a written schedule. Hard to care much. Had to set alarms to not miss my next doses.

 

[Nikitatos]

Stay cool. You're doing great.

 

[AmberianDawn]

I wish you to have pleasant and peaceful thoughts during the liberation process. Sweet dreams

 

[Traveller12724]

Safe journey, find the peace you seek!

 

[Manfrotto99]

I hope it all goes peacefully for you. thankyou for sharing your experience with us

 

[rozeske]

I wish you the best in your journey. I hope you land to the place of peace and no suffering that you hoped for

 

[ForgottenAgain]

You clearly put a lot of thought into it and were very organised with all the timings and dosages. I hope you're able to go calmly and without suffering.

I'm so sorry life brought you to this...

 

[thebelljarrr]

Peace and love. Au revoir

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Safe travels and good luck! I hope you find peace!

 

[lyfsoverrated]

Hope all went well and RIP

 

[rj3542]

Thank you for all the kind and worm words. I clearly didn't make it.

I took too many benzos too early and they knocked me out too before I drank the SN I don't anything after lying down in bed. Apparently I knocked the SN over. I woke up a little the next night and stumbled around..told my roommate I had a migraine and went back to bed. Just woke up again..

At least the benzos worked. Have another shipment SN arriving today. Fingers crossed it tests well and I can make it this time. Need another window of opportunity. Changes will be to take propranolol closer to SN a little after the meto and take crashed benzos about 5 mins before SN to allow time for a 2md glass if I pass out. I'm out of Xanax and Valium so it's just Ativan this time.

 

[BARIZON]

When i read about your protocol that's the first think I thought, the ammount of crushed benzos you took can knock down a horse in no time, take it after the SN if you wish to try it again. Also, could you convert the ammount of benzos from tabs to mg(miligrams) for me? Also wish to take benzos, although I only have two vials of clonazepam (50 mg total)

 

[rj3542]

When i read about your protocol that's the first think I thought, the ammount of crushed benzos you took can knock down a horse in no time, take it after the SN if you wish to try it again. Also, could you convert the ammount of benzos from tabs to mg(miligrams) for me? Also wish to take benzos, although I only have two vials of clonazepam (50 mg total)

I was using the PHP recommendation of 20x30mg oxazepam and this barbiturate calculator which may help: http://omnicalculator.com/health/benzodiazepine-conversion

It hit me pretty hard problably because it was crushed so I think next time I'd take it right before. I'm still feeling groggy from it.

 

[BARIZON]

I was using the PHP recommendation of 20x30mg oxazepam and this barbiturate calculator which may help: http://omnicalculator.com/health/benzodiazepine-conversion

It hit me pretty hard problably because it was crushed so I think next time I'd take it right before. I'm still feeling groggy from it.

Thank you, it seems my clonazepam quantity will do the job, my plan is to take lower ammounts of it progressively, until I'm almost falling asleep, than I will drink the SN and take the elephant benzo dosage after.

 

[rj3542]

Thank you, it seems my clonazepam quantity will do the job, my plan is to take lower ammounts of it progressively, until I'm almost falling asleep, than I will drink the SN and take the elephant benzo dosage after.

Do you have a date in mind?

 

[BARIZON]

Well, supposedly the best date was this past weekend. Now, a close friend of mine who has depression will celebrate her birthday next weekend, so I don't want to ruin it. I guess it will have to be the weekend after then, on July 27th

 

[divinemistress36]

Thank you for all the kind and worm words. I clearly didn't make it.

I took too many benzos too early and they knocked me out too before I drank the SN I don't anything after lying down in bed. Apparently I knocked the SN over. I woke up a little the next night and stumbled around..told my roommate I had a migraine and went back to bed. Just woke up again..

At least the benzos worked. Have another shipment SN arriving today. Fingers crossed it tests well and I can make it this time. Need another window of opportunity. Changes will be to take propranolol closer to SN a little after the meto and take crashed benzos about 5 mins before SN to allow time for a 2md glass if I pass out. I'm out of Xanax and Valium so it's just Ativan this time.

How much Ativan are you planning on taking?

 

[rj3542]

Do you have a date in mind?

I have to find out when I'll be one enough
. hopefully soon..I was hoping to have overnight.

How much Ativan are you planning on taking?

I'm thinking since I took 16mg + 2 mg Xanax + 4mg valium before, I thought I might just take 16mg Ativan. I'm out of the others. Any thoughts?

 

[jjxt94]

I was using the PHP recommendation of 20x30mg oxazepam and this barbiturate calculator which may help: http://omnicalculator.com/health/benzodiazepine-conversion

It hit me pretty hard problably because it was crushed so I think next time I'd take it right before. I'm still feeling groggy from it.

How long was onset on crushed oxazepam?

 

[Endless_suffering]

Everytime I read any goodbye threads my anxiety goes sky high :(

But hope you find peace and your transition will be as peaceful as possible

Mine too :(

 

[indefinitesleep2]

pray you pass peacefully, take care

 

[rj3542]

I have to find out when I'll be one enough
. hopefully soon..I was hoping to have overnight.

I'm thinking since I took 16mg + 2 mg Xanax + 4mg valium before, I thought I might just take 16mg Ativan. I'm out of the others. Any thoughts?

Hey guys, I didn't make it this time. The benzos knocked me out too fast. I think 10-15 minutes from drinking them crushed