dying to prove a point lol

[nails]

i don't think anyone actually believes that i'm going to ctb. i've bitched about it for so long, but i'm still here. no one cares anymore, lol. especially after my last attempt, it seems like no one takes me seriously. it's fucking annoying, i hate being doubted.
i guess it won't really matter, i won't live to see any reactions or anything; but i don't really care. i'll know that i'm proving how serious i am about this, and that's really exciting

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Userpic matches the vibes.

[Not saying this in a bad way.]

 

[Twiceler]

The past doesn't matter, the future doesn't matter - after death. The second part, I think, is rarely understood completely even by those who ctb.

 

[Languish]

The boy who cried wolf comes to mind. People will only care up to a point. If one complains or talks about it too much, or even attempts too many times, they decide it's about attention. At this point even if you succeed, they won't take you seriously. They'll just think you messed up your attempt to gain attention and accidentally died. They will likely pity you, but that is all. At best they will say "Welp, he finally die it. I'm not surprised. Oh well."

 

[divinemistress87]

People get burnt out from hearing it all the time .I know it sucks we want people to help us but we are on our own

 

[Ferret77]

I get that. I've been suicidal almost my entire life and people still pretend to care, but when I say I want to die or self harm, they're just like whatever, at this point. My own mother even told to just kill myself already, so did my boyfriend. I wonder how theyd feel, if I actually did it...

 

[nails]

I get that. I've been suicidal almost my entire life and people still pretend to care, but when I say I want to die or self harm, they're just like whatever, at this point. My own mother even told to just kill myself already, so did my boyfriend. I wonder how theyd feel, if I actually did it...

i'm sorry you had to hear such awful things from the people who were supposed to care about you. i hope you'll be able to find people who can give you kindness and care you deserve. feel free to reach out if you need to talk.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Okay, but why are you even bothering to try and prove a point to them? I mean, if you understand that you are being serious then shouldn't that be what truly matters at the end of the day? Why bother going through such drastic measures to gain validation from others? Who is to say that your death will even result in them finally taking you seriously? I'm not trying to discourage you from anything, btw. Your body, your choice. I just don't get the point of going through all this trouble to be taken seriously by others. If they don't respect you enough to take you seriously then who the fuck cares about what they have to say?

 

[shinigami_1992]

i don't think anyone actually believes that i'm going to ctb. i've bitched about it for so long, but i'm still here. no one cares anymore, lol. especially after my last attempt, it seems like no one takes me seriously. it's fucking annoying, i hate being doubted.
i guess it won't really matter, i won't live to see any reactions or anything; but i don't really care. i'll know that i'm proving how serious i am about this, and that's really exciting

for part I think x feel the same... I have been talking about it for about 1 year now(maybe even 2 and is all related to me being sexually, psychologically and medically abused by predatory ex female GP-where unfortunately not enough is know about female sexual offending especially when victim was young girl when groomed-I was just 21 and it went on for 9 years, and with me not realising medical abuse, certain type of diagnoses abuse, and well, all sexual offending was done under treatment and assessment guises x her acting like hero x then victim of mine-long story of NHS)

But if anybody is reading it-it's bcuz of Dr R. P. of WMC. I am going to do it bcuz of NHS medical and psychiatric and sexual abuse. and Medical neglect towards my real conditions and multiple misdiagnoses. I can;t bear it inside myself what this woman have done to me

 

[nails]

Okay, but why are you even bothering to try and prove a point to them? I mean, if you understand that you are being serious then shouldn't that be what truly matters at the end of the day? Why bother going through such drastic measures to gain validation from others? Who is to say that your death will even result in them finally taking you seriously? I'm not trying to discourage you from anything, btw. Your body, your choice. I just don't get the point of going through all this trouble to be taken seriously by others. If they don't respect you enough to take you seriously then who the fuck cares about what they have to say?

i've considered this all before. i probably should've said this in my post, but this isn't really one of my reasons for ctb. even if everyone believed me, i'd still do it. this is all just motivation, something that's taking my hesitation away. if everyone believed me, it would probably keep me alive a bit longer. that's pretty useless, though.

it's immature, but i just really need to prove my point, no matter what. even if they don't really care, at least i've been proven right. you're right about everything, though.

for part I think x feel the same... I have been talking about it for about 1 year now(maybe even 2 and is all related to me being sexually, psychologically and medically abused by predatory ex female GP-where unfortunately not enough is know about female sexual offending especially when victim was young girl when groomed-I was just 21 and it went on for 9 years, and with me not realising medical abuse, certain type of diagnoses abuse, and well, all sexual offending was done under treatment and assessment guises x her acting like hero x then victim of mine-long story of NHS)

But if anybody is reading it-it's bcuz of Dr R. P. of WMC. I am going to do it bcuz of NHS medical and psychiatric and sexual abuse. and Medical neglect towards my real conditions and multiple misdiagnoses. I can;t bear it inside myself what this woman have done to me

i'm so sorry, you've been through so much. i can only hope you receive some sort of justice and/or find some peace. feel free to send me a message if you need to vent.