Could you love an ugly person?

[AhG]

IMO Nobody is truly ugly unless it's on the inside.
If you are only attractive to a symmetrical face, that's fine, but can you be atttracted to that ugly part of that symmetrical face?
Now switch the question around with the ugly person.
Nobody is ugly it only matters what's on the inside.

 

[not_a_robot]

Nah, they hate it. If you show them, you can make their life a living hell. Then they scurry away and hide from you for the rest of their lives, then you can go back to just being yourself. Like the Romans dealing with all the savages nearby and then enjoying the Pax Romana. You know what they hate the most? Feeling weak...

I see your point but I think they like retaliation because it proves that they got to you. I think feeling like you could step over their corpse like it didn't even matter and go on with your life makes them feel weak, but you're right, in that event they just get madder and keep attacking.
I've had one for five years now trying to make me kill myself. He SWATed me last summer, his way of letting me know when he's found me. I have always ran and never retaliated. But last summer was the last straw. I emailed his wife and daughter to let them know the daughter isn't safe with him because he calls his hookers by the same nickname he calls his daughter. And that he has two more daughters with hookers that his wife doesn't know about, conceived at the time when they were supposed to be "fixing their marriage."
That seems to have been keeping him busy for a while....

IMO Nobody is truly ugly unless it's on the inside.
If you are only attractive to a symmetrical face, that's fine, but can you be atttracted to that ugly part of that symmetrical face?
Now switch the question around with the ugly person.
Nobody is ugly it only matters what's on the inside.

Thanks, that was the point of my poll.
So many people here think they want to Ctb because they are "too ugly to live", "too ugly to love",
yet very few see themselves as incapable of loving an ugly person.
I don't think it proves anything, I was just curious.

 

[Severen]

I see your point but I think they like retaliation because it proves that they got to you. I think feeling like you could step over their corpse like it didn't even matter and go on with your life makes them feel weak, but you're right, in that event they just get madder and keep attacking.
I've had one for five years now trying to make me kill myself. He SWATed me last summer, his way of letting me know when he's found me. I have always ran and never retaliated. But last summer was the last straw. I emailed his wife and daughter to let them know the daughter isn't safe with him because he calls his hookers by the same nickname he calls his daughter. And that he has two more daughters with hookers that his wife doesn't know about, conceived at the time when they were supposed to be "fixing their marriage."
That seems to have been keeping him busy for a while....

They like seeing you get angry... But if afterwards, you teach them a lesson. Then they will not like that. You need to hurt them and hurt them bad... And you need to make them fear you as if you are a demon from hell. If a dude SWATed me, he would have to leave the country to be safe because I don't have the $$$ to chase people all over the world... If I did though, he would have to CTB to escape me. I have this obsession with serving justice on people who committed crimes(what I consider crimes, I care nothing about what society sees as crimes because I don't care what sheeple and people who see me as a slave think) against me and I find it dishonorable to let people hurt me and get away with it. Letting it go, makes me feel like a dishonorable piece of shit coward. It goes against my code of honor. In your shoes, you could destroy his entire life easily if you wanted to. You were being merciful. The only reason I didn't destroy my father's life for being an abusive sociopath towards me when I was a child and a teen and for abandoning me is because, the memory of him being nice to me sometimes when I was a child, make it difficult and once he helped me out with money when I was 19. I remembered all the nice things he did for me and decided to be merciful.

 

[not_a_robot]

They like seeing you get angry... But if afterwards, you teach them a lesson. Then they will not like that. You need to hurt them and hurt them bad... And you need to make them fear you as if you are a demon from hell. If a dude SWATed me, he would have to leave the country to be safe because I don't have the $$$ to chase people all over the world... If I did though, he would have to CTB to escape me. I have this obsession with serving justice on people who committed crimes(what I consider crimes, I care nothing about what society sees as crimes because I don't care what sheeple and people who see me as a slave think) against me and I find it dishonorable to let people hurt me and get away with it. Letting it go, makes me feel like a dishonorable piece of shit coward. It goes against my code of honor. In your shoes, you could destroy his entire life easily if you wanted to. You were being merciful. The only reason I didn't destroy my father's life for being an abusive sociopath towards me when I was a child and a teen and for abandoning me is because, the memory of him being nice to me sometimes when I was a child, make it difficult and once he helped me out with money when I was 19. I remembered all the nice things he did for me and decided to be merciful.

When you obsess over revenge though, you're giving them two of the things they want most:
Your attention, and the knowledge that they have changed you.
The best way to deal with sociopaths/neurotypicals is: not at all.
And I wasn't being merciful, he had already destroyed my life by then (no big task, tiny life that it was). I was powerless, that was just my last card to play that could hurt him, and I never wanted to use it because it hurt his wife and daughter too. The WIFE is the one who had the power to make his life hell, by making him pay alimony.

 

[Severen]

When you obsess over revenge though, you're giving them two of the things they want most:
Your attention, and the knowledge that they have changed you.
The best way to deal with sociopaths/neurotypicals is: not at all.

Trust me, they don't want THAT KIND of attention. I know some sociopaths who would quit their jobs and flee for their lives if they found out I know where they live and wanted to pay them back for what they did to me. And they haven't changed me. They just taught me how to deal with them. In a way, they did me a favor because now I know how to deal with every sociopath who messes with me, unless he or she has an edge over me. Then of course, I'll just make them go away without getting on their bad side. Because unfortunately, a lot of sociopaths do have powerful positions in life. Because most human beings are so fucking stupid, they let sociopaths obtain positions of power...

When you obsess over revenge though, you're giving them two of the things they want most:
Your attention, and the knowledge that they have changed you.
The best way to deal with sociopaths/neurotypicals is: not at all.
And I wasn't being merciful, he had already destroyed my life by then (no big task, tiny life that it was). I was powerless, that was just my last card to play that could hurt him, and I never wanted to use it because it hurt his wife and daughter too. The WIFE is the one who had the power to make his life hell, by making him pay alimony.

You could have done much worse, trust me. I've been gifted with a very creative and sadistic mind when it comes to destroying people's lives. And when I observe a person, I can see all their weaknesses, open to attack. It's a lot like facing an enemy on a battlefield and I've studied military history, most of my life. One person dealing with another person is no different than two armies clashing on a battlefield. You observe your enemy, you observe the terrain, you learn what your army can do, you learn what his or her army can do etc... Then you look for a weakness to exploit or create a weakness to exploit, attack and annihilate. You also must be aware of your weaknesses, the enemy can exploit and do what you can to hide it or prevent it from being exploited. Men like Alexander The Great and Gaius Julius Caesar did this to achieve their victories. I do not think you are aware of the strength of your army and the terrain. :)

 

[inconsequential]

Trust me, they don't want THAT KIND of attention. I know some sociopaths who would quit their jobs and flee for their lives if they found out I know where they live and wanted to pay them back for what they did to me. And they haven't changed me. They just taught me how to deal with them. In a way, they did me a favor because now I know how to deal with every sociopath who messes with me, unless he or she has an edge over me. Then of course, I'll just make them go away without getting on their bad side. Because unfortunately, a lot of sociopaths do have powerful positions in life. Because most human beings are so fucking stupid, they let sociopaths obtain positions of power...


You could have done much worse, trust me. I've been gifted with a very creative and sadistic mind when it comes to destroying people's lives. And when I observe a person, I can see all their weaknesses, open to attack. It's a lot like facing an enemy on a battlefield and I've studied military history, most of my life. One person dealing with another person is no different than two armies clashing on a battlefield. You observe your enemy, you observe the terrain, you learn what your army can do, you learn what his or her army can do etc... Then you look for a weakness to exploit or create a weakness to exploit, attack and annihilate. You also must be aware of your weaknesses, the enemy can exploit and do what you can to hide it or prevent it from being exploited. Men like Alexander The Great and Gaius Julius Caesar did this to achieve their victories.

Unless, of course, you find a sociopath who is a true sociopath, not what people view as a "psychopath". Sociopaths want to be rid of society; not wanting to control it. Those will fight back at every version of retaliation.

10 years. He's been jailed 7 times. Two other females have gotten restraining orders. He only gets to see his kid two times a year, with the mother around. Lives with his mom in the basement. He makes his girlfriend dress up as what I looked like 10 years ago. Same hair, same piercings, same fucking items of clothing. I have no idea why she stays with him; he ruined her birthday last year by freaking out because I didn't show up. The kicker? I wasn't fucking invited.

Still stalks me. Still hacks into my shit, leaving his location, to let me know he's the one who did it. Because nobody else fucking lives in that bumfuck town. Still trying to manipulate people to get my number. Still spoofing the numbers of friends in order for me to pick up. He doesn't care. He will never care.

 

[Severen]

Unless, of course, you find a sociopath who is a true sociopath, not what people view as a "psychopath". Sociopaths want to be rid of society; not wanting to control it. Those will fight back at every version of retaliation.

10 years. He's been jailed 7 times. Two other females have gotten restraining orders. He only gets to see his kid two times a year, with the mother around. Lives with his mom in the basement. He makes his girlfriend dress up as what I looked like 10 years ago. Same hair, same piercings, same fucking items of clothing. I have no idea why she stays with him; he ruined her birthday last year by freaking out because I didn't show up. The kicker? I wasn't fucking invited.

Still stalks me. Still hacks into my shit, leaving his location, to let me know he's the one who did it. Because nobody else fucking lives in that bumfuck town. Still trying to manipulate people to get my number. Still spoofing the numbers of friends in order for me to pick up. He doesn't care. He will never care.

He doesn't see you as more powerful than him. You don't scare him. Are you a man or a woman?

 

[inconsequential]

He doesn't see you as more powerful than him. You don't scare him. Are you a man or a woman?

I'm too sick for jail. They don't give you meds there, and suffocation isn't an ideal way to go.

I'm female.

 

[Severen]

I'm too sick for jail. They don't give you meds there, and suffocation isn't an ideal way to go.

You can do a lot to hurt someone in legal ways, as well.

 

[inconsequential]

You can do a lot to hurt someone in legal ways, as well.

He's told me he'll kill me if access to his kid is entirely cut off. He owns 4 guns. I'd think he was bullshitting, but he made sure to show me them the last time we had an (unfortunate) encounter. Can't say if he really knows how to shoot, though.

 

[RM5998]

Well, this thread has gone down an interesting rabbit hole...

I see that people still use sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably and purely as a way of implying derision.

 

[Severen]

He's told me he'll kill me if access to his kid is entirely cut off. He owns 4 guns. I'd think he was bullshitting, but he made sure to show me them the last time we had an (unfortunate) encounter. Can't say if he really knows how to shoot, though.

Nah, men like him are pussies. He will never kill you. LOL Stalking a woman who has given up on life and hacking into her stuff doesn't really take courage. He is too afraid of going to prison. Men like him will be eaten alive in prison. If you kill someone, you go to a high level prison(where there are gangsters, murderers, rapists etc). Not just jail, which is really not that bad.

 

[inconsequential]

Well, this thread has gone down an interesting rabbit hole...

I see that people still use sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably and purely as a way of implying derision.

They're not interchangeable.

Nah, men like him are pussies. He will never kill you. He is too afraid of going to prison. Men like him will be eaten alive in prison.

If he shot me, he'd just be doing me a favor at this point anyway. Perhaps I should message his ex-wife about some things she might find important.

I just want him to leave me alone. It's purely annoying after this long.

 

[not_a_robot]

Unless, of course, you find a sociopath who is a true sociopath, not what people view as a "psychopath". Sociopaths want to be rid of society; not wanting to control it. Those will fight back at every version of retaliation.

10 years. He's been jailed 7 times. Two other females have gotten restraining orders. He only gets to see his kid two times a year, with the mother around. Lives with his mom in the basement. He makes his girlfriend dress up as what I looked like 10 years ago. Same hair, same piercings, same fucking items of clothing. I have no idea why she stays with him; he ruined her birthday last year by freaking out because I didn't show up. The kicker? I wasn't fucking invited.

Still stalks me. Still hacks into my shit, leaving his location, to let me know he's the one who did it. Because nobody else fucking lives in that bumfuck town. Still trying to manipulate people to get my number. Still spoofing the numbers of friends in order for me to pick up. He doesn't care. He will never care.

lol the spoofing. My idiot used to make harassing phone calls to various people with my number on caller ID. He was always trying to get me into fights with his new hookers by spoofing my number on their caller ID. When they called me up looking for a fight I'd just go "Tell Tom he's still a fucking idiot."
Is there anything more pitiful than a bratty two year old trapped in a grown man's body?

 

[RM5998]

They're not interchangeable.

That's exactly my point. 'Sociopathy' itself is essentially a derogatory way of referring to ASPD. What you guys are describing as hateful traits probably come closer to narcissism, although ASPD comorbidity is certainly a possibility.

 

[inconsequential]

lol the spoofing. My idiot used to make harassing phone calls to various people with my number on caller ID. He was always trying to get me into fights with his new hookers by spoofing my number on their caller ID. When they called me up looking for a fight I'd just go "Tell Tom he's still a fucking idiot."
Is there anything more pitiful than a bratty two year old trapped in a grown man's body?

It's fucking pathetic. Are they 11 year old bitchy pre-teens, or are they grown men?

I'm going with bitchy pre-teens. Mine acts like it, anyway. He messaged me randomly from a new account last year to tell me that he got me a ONE DIRECTION WORK BOOK.

I'm making a face.

 

[Severen]

Is there anything more pitiful than a bratty two year old trapped in a grown man's body?

All sociopaths are essentially evil children in adult bodies.

 

[inconsequential]

That's exactly my point. 'Sociopathy' itself is essentially a derogatory way of referring to ASPD. What you guys are describing as hateful traits probably come closer to narcissism, although ASPD comorbidity is certainly a possibility.

Nobody refers to it as ASPD unless it's on our diagnosis sheet, or they're writing the DSM.

 

[not_a_robot]

Well, this thread has gone down an interesting rabbit hole...

I see that people still use sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably and purely as a way of implying derision.

Then you aren't reading closely.

 

[Alan James]

Nah, they hate it. If you show them, you can make their life a living hell. Then they scurry away and hide from you for the rest of their lives, then you can go back to just being yourself. Like the Romans dealing with all the savages nearby and then enjoying the Pax Romana. You know what they hate the most? Feeling weak... They get scared, easily too. So inflicting pain and suffering upon them and scaring them, is the best way to deal with them. These people don't want a war. They don't want people to inflict pain and suffering upon them. They don't want people scaring them. They want to feel powerful. So they only constantly attack those who make them feel powerful. The people who don't fight back. The weak etc... In Highschool, nobody bullied me because I had a reputation for being extremely violent. If someone made fun of me, once, I would wait until after class and beat the shit out of him until he cried. Yeah, of course, I would get suspended from school, the dick head control freak vice principal would call my parents and tell them how horrible I am etc. But I didn't give a shit. My parents didn't really give a shit, either. I almost decided to beat the fuck out of the vice principal once for all those times he punished me for dealing with bullies but then I turned 18 and I was like, nah, it's not worth it.

You did everything right.

I understood this experimentally: all these ideas about non-resistance to evil by violence are brainwashing, in this world everything is not so, if you don't resist evil and violence, you will be beaten and raped and the whole world will become worse than hell. I could not resist because I was too weak, cowardly and sick, i didn't like violence (could not hit a human). And It seems like I was in jail and not in school: they beat me, humiliated me in various ways, broke my bones, urinated on me, broke my things and glasses, forced me to eat snow.

 

[RM5998]

Nobody refers to it as ASPD unless it's on our diagnosis sheet, or they're writing the DSM.

My point is, the word is used to imply derision. It's almost never used as an assessment of the target's personality traits. And the traits you guys are describing fall more in line with narcissism, which also seems to be the offending factor here - you seem to hate the self-importance, not the aversion to social structures.

Then you aren't reading closely.

I did, actually. The only intent I could see behind the use of the word was to imply that someone is objectionable, and the only offending traits that I saw being described were related to control, which falls more in line with NPD.

 

[inconsequential]

My point is, the word is used to imply derision. It's almost never used as an assessment of the target's personality traits. And the traits you guys are describing fall more in line with narcissism, which also seems to be the offending factor here - you seem to hate the self-importance, not the aversion to social structures.

I did, actually. The only intent I could see behind the use of the word was to imply that someone is objectionable, and the only offending traits that I saw being described were related to control, which falls more in line with NPD.

I could go on and on about his manipulation tactics used on girls and women ranging in age from 16-45, but I don't feel like writing that novel. Overt narcissists don't feel the need to manipulate.

 

[Severen]

You did everything right.

I understood this experimentally: all these ideas about non-resistance to evil by violence are brainwashing, in this world everything is not so, if you don't resist evil and violence, you will be beaten and raped and the whole world will become worse than hell. I could not resist because I was too weak, cowardly and sick, i didn't like violence (could not hit a human). And It seems like I was in jail and not in school: they beat me, humiliated me in various ways, broke my bones, urinated on me, broke my things and glasses, forced me to eat snow.

I learned the hard way, that you have to be a monster, sometimes by dealing with sociopaths all my life. It's the way of the world. The Romans used to be peaceful people living in Rome, only. Then one day, Rome was attacked by Celts and the Romans were completely at their mercy. And the leader of the Celts said, "Vae Victis" or "Woe to the vanquished." That basically means, conquerers can do whatever the fuck they want to do because might is right... Then the Celts eventually left after they looted what they wanted to loot, killed who they wanted to kill etc. Probably raped the women. After that horrible experience for the Romans, the Romans decided, they have no choice but to create the most powerful army in the world and become the best conquerors.

 

[not_a_robot]

My point is, the word is used to imply derision. It's almost never used as an assessment of the target's personality traits. And the traits you guys are describing fall more in line with narcissism, which also seems to be the offending factor here - you seem to hate the self-importance, not the aversion to social structures.

I did, actually. The only intent I could see behind the use of the word was to imply that someone is objectionable, and the only offending traits that I saw being described were related to control, which falls more in line with NPD.

I'll accept NPD, though the distinction between the dark triad personality disorders is generally just pedantic. I think they are malleable depending on how much opportunity the subject has to harm others, not fixed traits.
And my position is that sociopathic/psychopathic/narcissistic behavior is normalized in neurotypical society, so I apply those terms to most people, and not lightly. Not lightly at all.

It's a bad idea to try to fit my opinions of mental health to the DSM, I refer to that filth as the Destructive Sexism Manual.
I'm not here trying to pass a fucking psych class, just expressing my own unorthodox positions on the subject, Professor.

 

[Severen]

I'll accept NPD, though the distinction between the dark triad personality disorders is generally just pedantic. I think they are malleable depending on how much opportunity the subject has to harm others, not fixed traits.
And my position is that sociopathic/psychopathic/narcissistic behavior is normalized in neurotypical society, so I apply those terms to most people, and not lightly. Not lightly at all.

It's a bad idea to try to fit my opinions of mental health to the DSM, I refer to that filth as the Destructive Sexism Manual.
I'm not here trying to pass a fucking psych class, just expressing my own unorthodox positions on the subject, Professor.

The truth is, there are still people debating over which words are the correct words to use for people like this or that. So until most people have made up their mind, I'm just going to use word "sociopath" or "sociopaths." Right now, words like sociopaths have multiple definitions, words like psychopaths have multiple definitions, words like "narcissists" and "narcissist" have no meaning anymore because they are being misused on a daily basis. People who are simply confident nowadays are often labeled as narcissists... People who have a high self esteem are often labeled narcissists. People who see themselves as special get labeled as narcissists even though they actually are special... When words get misused like that, then the word essentially becomes nothing but verbal trash. Like the word "troll" has been misused so many times, nobody really takes it seriously. Unfortunately, words like "depression" and "depressed" are also turning into verbal trash due to misuse. :(

 

[inconsequential]

The truth is, there are still people debating over which words are the correct words to use for people like this or that. So until most people have made up their mind, I'm just going to use word "sociopath" or "sociopaths." Right now, words like sociopaths have multiple definitions, words like psychopaths have multiple definitions, words like "narcissists" and "narcissist" have no meaning anymore because they are being misused on a daily basis. People who are simply confident nowadays are often labeled as narcissists... People who have a high self esteem are often labeled narcissists. People who see themselves as special get labeled as narcissists even though they actually are special... When words get misused like that, then the word essentially becomes nothing but verbal trash. Like the word "troll" has been misused so many times, nobody really takes it seriously. Unfortunately, words like "depression" and "depressed" are also turning into verbal trash due to misuse. :(

"Trigger" has been destroyed. What was once a valid term to describe something that set off a flashback or dissociative spell is now used to warn people of the color orange, or maple syrup.

 

[not_a_robot]

edit: mixed up quoted posts.

The truth is, there are still people debating over which words are the correct words to use for people like this or that. So until most people have made up their mind, I'm just going to use word "sociopath" or "sociopaths." Right now, words like sociopaths have multiple definitions, words like psychopaths have multiple definitions, words like "narcissists" and "narcissist" have no meaning anymore because they are being misused on a daily basis. People who are simply confident nowadays are often labeled as narcissists... People who have a high self esteem are often labeled narcissists. People who see themselves as special get labeled as narcissists even though they actually are special... When words get misused like that, then the word essentially becomes nothing but verbal trash. Like the word "troll" has been misused so many times, nobody really takes it seriously. Unfortunately, words like "depression" and "depressed" are also turning into verbal trash due to misuse. :(

The debate continues because the DSM is subjective, destructive trash that is based entirely on the biases and unconfirmed "opinions" of the so-called "therapist". It's designed that way so that anyone can be maligned and discredited with deliberately malicious misdiagnoses at the whim of the therapist. It's a fake industry meant to fuck with people. There's absolutely nothing real or concrete about it, by design.

That is why it is fucking insane to stick around and wait for your meat sack to rot away. Nature is clearly telling these people TO GO DIE ALREADY. Yet they keep carrying on... Human beings weren't even designed to live a long time. There is a point when life goes against nature. Even my life is a glitch in the matrix. I should have died, in my early 20s.


I think average looking women have it worse because they get preyed upon by almost every guy.


A lot of people make the mistake of thinking, they can find a deep connection by looking for people with certain looks though. Certain looks only tell you where someone's place is in the natural order of their society. Therefore, the lower their place in the natural order, the more receptive they are to people because these people can't afford to be picky... Some of them are picky as hell when it comes to partners though especially women. I've encountered women who would be considered unattractive by 99% of people who have the same standards as women 99% of men would find attractive. LOL They do this to delude themselves into thinking, they are hot shit because the truth is so horrible to deal with them for them. People and their mental gymnastics.

lol. It's a little weird that you think ugly people shouldn't have dating standards. Some people would rather be alone than with someone who considers them "low in the social order".
Does dating someone who thinks you are worthless if not a perfect ten sound like fucking fun to you?
It isn't.

 

[Memento Mori]

there's no such thing as "ugly". there's only individual perception for things, connected to feelings and moments. what people call ugly nowadays is just "not perfectly symmetric" for me, and if you love someone there's no "uglyness" in first instance because you love the look of another person as it is. and if you get bored by it, or look after other people who seem to look "better" than your partner, then that's no love at all. or is it sexual urges then? i don't know, this shit is complicated and i can't speak for other people.

 

[not_a_robot]

there's no such thing as "ugly". there's only individual perception for things, connected to feelings and moments. what people call ugly nowadays is just "not perfectly symmetric" for me, and if you love someone there's no "uglyness" in first instance because you love the look of another person as it is. and if you get bored by it, or look after other people who seem to look "better" than your partner, then that's no love at all. or is it sexual urges then? i don't know, this shit is complicated and i can't speak for other people.

Agreed. The poll was really to contrast against all the "too ugly to love, too ugly to live" threads.
Many people believe they are too ugly to love, but not many say they could not love an ugly person.

 

[Skathon]

And there is only one difference between a sociopath and psychopath; opportunity.

..."opportunity"? "Psychopaths" (those who are born with a mental/neurological disease) are unable to feel emotional empathy, "sociopaths" (those with an acquired behavioural deviation) do not feel it (but are still able to).
We are more like "Lawful Evil" and "Chaotic Evil". I have always found it amusing that such a description is one of the most correct, by the way.
Though, there are currently no proper appellations for these two categories.