Venting anyone remember me? i’ll be gone next week.

[jade]

i'm so fucking sad and i don't even know why
it's not like i wanna chicken out of this
i could never work again or leave this house once and for all
i'm so exhausted i wanna disappear
i can't take any more of this life cause all i feel is pain
but then why am i so
fucking
sad
:(

 

[issyishere]

i'm so fucking sad and i don't even know why
it's not like i wanna chicken out of this
i could never work again or leave this house once and for all
i'm so exhausted i wanna disappear
i can't take any more of this life cause i feel is pain
but then why am i so
fucking
sad
:(

Your mind is still coming to terms with the fact that everything will end. It's okay to postpone for a bit. there's no shame. Ctb is an act that goes against our very instinct and of course your body will try to stop you. we'll support any decision you make

 

[Circlingthedrain]

Do not judge yourself
Being unsure has no shame. Being sure has no shame. Deciding to live is beautiful , maybe you'll decide that's what you need . I'm going to ctb. I'm pro choice for anyone wondering. But anyone who has that bit of doubt deserves to find out no? I'm here.

 

[jade]

Do not judge yourself
Being unsure has no shame. Being sure has no shame. Deciding to live is beautiful , maybe you'll decide that's what you need . I'm going to ctb. I'm pro choice for anyone wondering. But anyone who has that bit of doubt deserves to find out no? I'm here.

the point is, i'm so tired of everything and i DO want it all to end. i've never felt this kind of sadness in all my previous ctb attempts, so i don't understand what's making me cry like a baby

 

[Circlingthedrain]

the point is, i'm so tired of everything and i DO want it all to end. i've never felt this kind of sadness in all my previous ctb attempts, so i don't understand what's making me cry like a baby

I'm not here to talk you out of anything, I genuinely aren't. Guessing you feel empty? Again idk, maybe you're just like me , maybe you pushed everyone and everything away. But I'm guessing you're a genuinely good person, and I'm telling you I'll be here whatever time you need me and if you ever want to talk to me. But I respect the shit out of any decision you make

 

[jade]

I'm telling you I'll be here whatever time you need me and if you ever want to talk to me. But I respect the shit out of any decision you make

this really means a lot to me. you seem very kind. thank you.

 

[Jean4]

I am sending you lots of love. Know you aren't alone, and we will be here for you should you want us. You aren't alone.

 

[cosmicpixiedust]

Sending you lots of love and hugs. We are here for you, no matter what.

 

[Circlingthedrain]

You deserve better than me trying to talk to you mate

this really means a lot to me. you seem very kind. thank you. ❤❤

You've got to feel confident doing what you do, and I admire you, because you're still there, I cant tell you it'll get better, I just cant but I can tell you you're not alone <3

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Like the man said, you are not alone. If you are in any doubt then that's okay. You can always stick around here and talk to us. No one can solve your problems but we'll listen without judgement.

 

[Circlingthedrain]

If she's gone I really hope shes at peace, I see people like Jean (sorry I'm bad at tagging) and I respect this forum even more , I know I'm going to stay all night just to see if she talks. And then I see Jean, what a lady, clearly going through some horrible stuff. What a lady

 

[WhiteEyes]

Sorry life has been awful for you.
I think with being sad you're really grieving for yourself before it happens. The mind is never entirely in the present. It's always anticipating the future so it can respond better to the present. I am not equipped to say this is only SI or other parts of yourself that isn't ready to give it all up. Only you can decide in the end you don't have to commit to anything.

 

[jade]

I'm going to stay all night just to see if she talks.

please don't worry, if i'll do it, it'll be tomorrow afternoon.

 

[Circlingthedrain]

please don't worry, if i'll do it, it'll be tomorrow afternoon. ❤

Dont worry about me lol, everyone needs a friend I think

Dont worry about me lol, everyone needs a friend I think

I'm here mate
I genuinely respect you

 

[TheDevilsAngel]

I wish you luck and I hope you can find peace sending you some more hugs and love

 

[Defenestrator]

Good luck and be at peace.

 

[nailcat]

I'm so sorry that you've been going through this. Hugs xx

 

[DoNotLet2]

I agree with Issy. It's awful that some good people can't make their life better Rest in peace, wishing you peaceful journey.

 

[TAW122]

I wish you the best and peace.

 

[Time]

i'm so fucking sad and i don't even know why
it's not like i wanna chicken out of this
i could never work again or leave this house once and for all
i'm so exhausted i wanna disappear
i can't take any more of this life cause all i feel is pain
but then why am i so
fucking
sad
:(

Seems like a common reaction with ctb but ESPECIALLY with these goodbye threads... Seeing & feeling a lot of love that many of us don't even get irl. I can see myself reacting the same way when my time comes. I hope today was a great one. Whatever decision you make, we're here for you.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

It hurts my heart to know you are feeling so sad today. Not because I want you to CTB with glee - only because I would hope that your last day would be one of peace.

We are all here and lifting you up in our hearts, whatever happens this week.

 

[MsMaudlin]

I know just how much you want it to be over, but ultimately its a decision only you can make.
I think you"re amazing, and I'm here, as we all are, whichever path you choose ❤

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hope you find peace

 

[jade]

about to go upstairs to set up the noose and ladder. i'm feeling much calmer than i did yesterday. i'm feeling quite numb. but i feel all of your love and it's such a warm feeling.

 

[MsMaudlin]

about to go upstairs to set up the noose and ladder. i'm feeling much calmer than i did yesterday. i'm feeling quite numb. but i feel all of your love and it's such a warm feeling.

Surrounding you with love and strength!
Stay beautiful ❤

 

[Y-B]

Wish you save travels, I hope you were truly ready.

 

[Carrotcake]

Wish you all the best

 

[WhiteEyes]

about to go upstairs to set up the noose and ladder. i'm feeling much calmer than i did yesterday. i'm feeling quite numb. but i feel all of your love and it's such a warm feeling.

So my day was fairly numb. too.
You can always come back and talk some more here.

 

[jade]

it's time, i'm logging off so no one can trace back to this forum. thank you so much, so much, for all the support. if i don't post again in a day or two, it means i've succeeded and Mods can ban me. i love every single one of you beautiful souls.

 

[MsMaudlin]

it's time, i'm logging off so no one can trace back to this forum. thank you so much, so much, for all the support. ❤ if i don't post again in a day or two, it means i've succeeded and Mods can ban me. i love every single one of you beautiful souls.

Stay beautiful ❤