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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
Please is someone there to talk to me
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
Do you mean having a bad childhood turned you into what you are today?
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
Yes. I was the fat kid in middle school. It destroyed me... even after I lost the weight.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
No. I'm not toxic because of my childhood. My childhood was toxic. That doesn't make me a bad person today ❤
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
No. I'm not toxic because of my childhood. My childhood was toxic. That doesn't make me a bad person today ❤

Yes, my childhood was less than ideal. It was very toxic and confusing.
 
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Can'tStandAnymore

Can'tStandAnymore

Custom title
Mar 16, 2019
234
Perhaps. Being autistic and having an uncaring family.
 
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Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
Please is someone there to talk to me
You're not toxic. You were a child. A toxic environment left you without proper models for what was normal in the world.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
Yes, my childhood was less than ideal. It was very toxic and confusing.
I think the abused are programed to blame themselves for what happened, especially in childhood. This is wrong. I know who is to blame and it isn't me.
 
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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
No. I'm not toxic because of my childhood. My childhood was toxic. That doesn't make me a bad person today ❤
that's brilliant <3 unfortunately i have some nasty traits i was not aware of.
 
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Return2Dust

Return2Dust

Experienced
Sep 28, 2019
246
that's brilliant <3 unfortunately i have some nasty traits i was not aware of.
The nice thing is, you can change the traits you find "nasty" where you become aware of them.
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
I think the abused are programed to blame themselves for what happened, especially in childhood. This is wrong. I know who is to blame and it isn't me.

Definitely blamed myself for not being the perfect child and still blame myself for not being the perfect daughter. Instead, I'm killing myself. I feel like a disappointment.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
that's brilliant <3 unfortunately i have some nasty traits i was not aware of.
We all do. Doesn't make us toxic. Some of my current behaviour can be explained by looking back. But I am not my childhood. A product of it yes. But we're all so much more than that ❤
 
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L

Let'sgetoutofHERE

Member
Oct 7, 2019
81
No. I'm not toxic because of my childhood. My childhood was toxic. That doesn't make me a bad person today ❤
I'm kind of toxic despite having a good childhood, so there really are all possible combinations :ahhha:
 
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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
You're not toxic. You were a child. A toxic environment left you without proper models for what was normal in the world.
exactly. and im such a mess and my friends are leaving me.
We all do. Doesn't make us toxic. Some of my current behaviour can be explained by looking back. But I am not my childhood. A product of it yes. But we're all so much more than that ❤
this is true. thank you so much for saying this.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
Definitely blamed myself for not being the perfect child and still blame myself for not being the perfect daughter. Instead, I'm killing myself. I feel like a disappointment.
That's sad to hear. I wasn't the perfect daughter, but how could I ever be with a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father? I was never the problem.
 
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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
That's sad to hear. I wasn't the perfect daughter, but how could I ever be with a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father? I was never the problem.
me too. its tough because at some point we have to take some responsibility.
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
That's sad to hear. I wasn't the perfect daughter, but how could I ever be with a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father? I was never the problem.

Thank you for giving me a different perspective.
 
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BPD_LE

BPD_LE

The Queen of Meme
Aug 11, 2019
1,576
me too. its tough because at some point we have to take some responsibility.
Yes definitely. I take responsibility for the way I react to a situation, but not for the reasons behind it. If that makes sense?
 
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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
Yes definitely. I take responsibility for the way I react to a situation, but not for the reasons behind it. If that makes sense?
yes i totally get it.
my friends have deserted me and i'm all alone. cause i'm a shitty person.
 
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Dazedandconfused32

Dazedandconfused32

She was the worlds biggest mistake
Jun 16, 2019
215
Definitely blamed myself for not being the perfect child and still blame myself for not being the perfect daughter. Instead, I'm killing myself. I feel like a disappointment.
This hurt my heart :( I'm sending you a hug
 
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Crushed_Innocence

Crushed_Innocence

Hungry Ghost
Oct 16, 2019
423
Yes.my entire childhood & teenage hood was a disaster. And it made me who I am today. Whixh is emotionally bankrupt & I plan to ctb very soon to be out of my endless psychic and emotional pain.
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
bad childhood obviously correlates to suicide on average. childhood is when your development and surrounding is so critical for your future.
 
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noonetoo

noonetoo

Specialist
Mar 7, 2019
386
Have you guys seen the new movie "Joker"? It's supposed to be the development of him and the root of his pain and mental illness. I cried so hard during the movie.
It's like what we had to survive stole pieces and innocence from us. And the worst part is we are treated as if our experiences are No excuse for how we behave or think.
It's like we're the scapegoat to our own troubles and just expected to heal on our own or seek help when we don't want it or can't afford it. But I can't get over it. I have no idea how to be normal or fit in. At All. I try so HARD to be a good, kind person but I'm full of flaws and like a personality disorder mixed with a mental illness drowning in my own sorrow.
"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."
we are products of what we've been through and people only care when we're gone.
 
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hadenoughthanks

hadenoughthanks

wishing for an apocalypse
Oct 3, 2019
42
Have you guys seen the new movie "Joker"? It's supposed to be the development of him and the root of his pain and mental illness. I cried so hard during the movie.
It's like what we had to survive stole pieces and innocence from us. And the worst part is we are treated as if our experiences are No excuse for how we behave or think.
It's like we're the scapegoat to our own troubles and just expected to heal on our own or seek help when we don't want it or can't afford it. But I can't get over it. I have no idea how to be normal or fit in. At All. I try so HARD to be a good, kind person but I'm full of flaws and like a personality disorder mixed with a mental illness drowning in my own sorrow.
"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."
we are products of what we've been through and people only care when we're gone.
this is so so so so true man.
i dont even know what to do.

thank you for your sincere and thoughtful response
 
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Sadwind

Sadwind

want to go
Sep 21, 2019
76
that's brilliant <3 unfortunately i have some nasty traits i was not aware of.
I have some "nasty" traits too. I don't want them but they're there. You're not alone. My subconscious is very suicidal but I try to preserve myself for some damn reason. I believe I don't deserve my bad emotions.

Don't beat yourself up. I try to practice self compassion. You might be a shitty person but that doesn't mean you don't deserve forgiveness. Our childhoods were bad. It left us with horrific psychological burdens. It's not exactly your fault.
 
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B

BadDoctors

Member
Oct 19, 2019
23
My childhood was pretty good. Makes me feel even shittier deciding to ctb tbh. its like what was the fucking point
 
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J

jayfox

Student
Apr 19, 2019
150
Yes. I was the fat kid in middle school. It destroyed me... even after I lost the weight.
I can relate,had similar experience,middle school was brutal.
Always surprise me how mean kids can be.
 
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KadathianStr1d3r

KadathianStr1d3r

Shattered Mannequin
Nov 21, 2018
278
Yes mostly due to a single bad choice i made if not the worst one in my entire life that got me sentenced to d.t. which effectively destroyed my childhood innocence. To make matters worse I was corner3d into a black room with nobody but the internet and this was always a thing for 10 years. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@
 
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