hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
Please is someone there to talk to me
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SuicidalSymphonies
I think I'll take a dirt nap.
- Oct 13, 2019
- 1,028
Do you mean having a bad childhood turned you into what you are today?
Astral316
Specialist
- Aug 26, 2019
- 332
Yes. I was the fat kid in middle school. It destroyed me... even after I lost the weight.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
No. I'm not toxic because of my childhood. My childhood was toxic. That doesn't make me a bad person today ❤
SuicidalSymphonies
I think I'll take a dirt nap.
- Oct 13, 2019
- 1,028
Yes, my childhood was less than ideal. It was very toxic and confusing.
Can'tStandAnymore
Custom title
- Mar 16, 2019
- 234
Perhaps. Being autistic and having an uncaring family.
hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
yes exactly :(
exactly.. we're all products of our environments and its crazy
Return2Dust
Experienced
- Sep 28, 2019
- 246
You're not toxic. You were a child. A toxic environment left you without proper models for what was normal in the world.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
I think the abused are programed to blame themselves for what happened, especially in childhood. This is wrong. I know who is to blame and it isn't me.
hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
that's brilliant <3 unfortunately i have some nasty traits i was not aware of.
Return2Dust
Experienced
- Sep 28, 2019
- 246
The nice thing is, you can change the traits you find "nasty" where you become aware of them.
SuicidalSymphonies
I think I'll take a dirt nap.
- Oct 13, 2019
- 1,028
Definitely blamed myself for not being the perfect child and still blame myself for not being the perfect daughter. Instead, I'm killing myself. I feel like a disappointment.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
We all do. Doesn't make us toxic. Some of my current behaviour can be explained by looking back. But I am not my childhood. A product of it yes. But we're all so much more than that ❤
I'm kind of toxic despite having a good childhood, so there really are all possible combinations
hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
exactly. and im such a mess and my friends are leaving me.
this is true. thank you so much for saying this.
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
That's sad to hear. I wasn't the perfect daughter, but how could I ever be with a narcissistic mother and an emotionally absent father? I was never the problem.
hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
me too. its tough because at some point we have to take some responsibility.
SuicidalSymphonies
I think I'll take a dirt nap.
- Oct 13, 2019
- 1,028
BPD_LE
The Queen of Meme
- Aug 11, 2019
- 1,576
Yes definitely. I take responsibility for the way I react to a situation, but not for the reasons behind it. If that makes sense?
hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
yes i totally get it.
my friends have deserted me and i'm all alone. cause i'm a shitty person.
Dazedandconfused32
She was the worlds biggest mistake
- Jun 16, 2019
- 215
Crushed_Innocence
Hungry Ghost
- Oct 16, 2019
- 423
Yes.my entire childhood & teenage hood was a disaster. And it made me who I am today. Whixh is emotionally bankrupt & I plan to ctb very soon to be out of my endless psychic and emotional pain.
bigj75
“From Knowledge springs power."
- Sep 1, 2018
- 2,540
bad childhood obviously correlates to suicide on average. childhood is when your development and surrounding is so critical for your future.
noonetoo
Specialist
- Mar 7, 2019
- 386
Have you guys seen the new movie "Joker"? It's supposed to be the development of him and the root of his pain and mental illness. I cried so hard during the movie.
It's like what we had to survive stole pieces and innocence from us. And the worst part is we are treated as if our experiences are No excuse for how we behave or think.
It's like we're the scapegoat to our own troubles and just expected to heal on our own or seek help when we don't want it or can't afford it. But I can't get over it. I have no idea how to be normal or fit in. At All. I try so HARD to be a good, kind person but I'm full of flaws and like a personality disorder mixed with a mental illness drowning in my own sorrow.
"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."
we are products of what we've been through and people only care when we're gone.
It's like what we had to survive stole pieces and innocence from us. And the worst part is we are treated as if our experiences are No excuse for how we behave or think.
It's like we're the scapegoat to our own troubles and just expected to heal on our own or seek help when we don't want it or can't afford it. But I can't get over it. I have no idea how to be normal or fit in. At All. I try so HARD to be a good, kind person but I'm full of flaws and like a personality disorder mixed with a mental illness drowning in my own sorrow.
"The worst part about having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don't."
we are products of what we've been through and people only care when we're gone.
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hadenoughthanks
wishing for an apocalypse
- Oct 3, 2019
- 42
this is so so so so true man.
i dont even know what to do.
thank you for your sincere and thoughtful response
Sadwind
want to go
- Sep 21, 2019
- 76
I have some "nasty" traits too. I don't want them but they're there. You're not alone. My subconscious is very suicidal but I try to preserve myself for some damn reason. I believe I don't deserve my bad emotions.
Don't beat yourself up. I try to practice self compassion. You might be a shitty person but that doesn't mean you don't deserve forgiveness. Our childhoods were bad. It left us with horrific psychological burdens. It's not exactly your fault.
My childhood was pretty good. Makes me feel even shittier deciding to ctb tbh. its like what was the fucking point
I can relate,had similar experience,middle school was brutal.
Always surprise me how mean kids can be.
KadathianStr1d3r
Shattered Mannequin
- Nov 21, 2018
- 278
Yes mostly due to a single bad choice i made if not the worst one in my entire life that got me sentenced to d.t. which effectively destroyed my childhood innocence. To make matters worse I was corner3d into a black room with nobody but the internet and this was always a thing for 10 years. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@
