am i selfish for not wanting to be alone

[Decayed]

recently when i imagine catching the bus i've fantasised about doing it in a semi public place for context i have issues around attention seeking behaviours and i am worried this may be a sign of that and not me actually wishing to end it, however i really want someone to see me go (someone who isn't family or my boyfriend cause i don't want them to see that) i want someone to hold my hand and wish me well without stopping me. i've planned double ctb before but they got caught and then told on me to the psych ward so i don't want to do that again but i just want to not be so alone during it, does that make me a horrible person?

 

[GutsOverFear]

You are a human being, nobody wants to be alone

 

[Hollowman]

No it doesn't make you horrible.