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Harry Callahan
Feb 12, 2023
236
i don't think anyone has ever been romantically interested in me. i've had a lot of people online express interest in me after seeing what i look like, strangers irl who came up to me and expressed their interest; but no one has ever expressed interest in me after actually getting to know me.
i've thought about this in the past and i've tried to figure it out, but i can't. i assumed it might be due to my personality, but i make friends pretty easily. i'm just never the one who people want to be with romantically.

all my friends end up drifting away or straight up dropping me after some time (about 1-3yrs), it's probably linked to that. like, i drive someone away/exhaust them before they can even gain that romantic interest, but that opens an entirely different issue for me. either way, i notice that most people start getting romantic feelings for someone after a few months (at most), so it doesn't even apply.

i can't even be in a romantic relationship. i'm at a point where i refuse to start/engage in close friendships. i just want to know what's wrong with me and what about me is so repulsive? going into a slightly different, but still closely related rant: i'm never really anyone's favorite in any regard. i'm only the best/favorite if there are no other options. i'm someone's favorite person/closest friend until they find literally anyone else. even if they still like me and talk to me regularly, i'm just never good enough to keep that top spot.
 
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