Venting Almost comical how easy it is (vent/rant)

[august4you]

I've been tossing and turning and losing sleep over how I'm going to CTB. Whether buying SN or getting over my SI to hang myself when the answer is right in front of me. I live in Texas. Why I hadn't considered guns before is baffling but no worries. It took maybe 2 days before I secured a seller and now all I need is to buy shells. Tomorrow is the day :) I'm so nervous I'm shaking and the timing is perfect. Feels almost like fate. Anyways I don't know what lies next but I feel that if I buy the gun and don't follow through then I never will. That scares me. I've self sabotaged to the point of no return. I'm scared I'll have to live with myself.
Anyways I'm gonna pull a Kurt Cobain tomorrow (no disrespect) and it feels like just before the movie ends in a theater. I'm sure I did the best I could to live, given my circumstances, and my passing will be forgotten. I'm not leaving a note (I guess this is it) I want to be forgotten as quickly as possible. It was a mistake being brought to life or maybe the life I've led was a mistake. I can't remember when I started being a worthless human but ever since I've been aware of him I've been wanting to put him down. Anyways pardon my ramblings and we'll see what happens tmmrw

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Forgive me if I'm out of line, but have you investigated and read about the firearm method, what it entails, how to do it for the best chance of success, best firearms to ensure success, best ammo, all that stuff and more? Basically, you've done your homework?

 

[august4you]

Forgive me if I'm out of line, but have you investigated and read about the firearm method, what it entails, how to do it for the best chance of success, best firearms to ensure success, best ammo, all that stuff and more? Basically, you've done your homework?

Not at all. Yes but I'm always paranoid it may not work but I'm pretty certain on how I'm going to do it

 

[shinitai_sh0jo]

I've been tossing and turning and losing sleep over how I'm going to CTB. Whether buying SN or getting over my SI to hang myself when the answer is right in front of me. I live in Texas. Why I hadn't considered guns before is baffling but no worries. It took maybe 2 days before I secured a seller and now all I need is to buy shells. Tomorrow is the day :) I'm so nervous I'm shaking and the timing is perfect. Feels almost like fate. Anyways I don't know what lies next but I feel that if I buy the gun and don't follow through then I never will. That scares me. I've self sabotaged to the point of no return. I'm scared I'll have to live with myself.
Anyways I'm gonna pull a Kurt Cobain tomorrow (no disrespect) and it feels like just before the movie ends in a theater. I'm sure I did the best I could to live, given my circumstances, and my passing will be forgotten. I'm not leaving a note (I guess this is it) I want to be forgotten as quickly as possible. It was a mistake being brought to life or maybe the life I've led was a mistake. I can't remember when I started being a worthless human but ever since I've been aware of him I've been wanting to put him down. Anyways pardon my ramblings and we'll see what happens tmmrw

I hope you manage to have some peaceful time at least before the time you decided to do it. Genuinely get the feeling, but I myself probably just didn't have enough energy to actively prepare a plan to do ctb... but in any case, I hope it ends as quickly and painless as it can be. It probably has been quite a long run until now, and you probably deserve to rest.

 

[august4you]

I hope you manage to have some peaceful time at least before the time you decided to do it. Genuinely get the feeling, but I myself probably just didn't have enough energy to actively prepare a plan to do ctb... but in any case, I hope it ends as quickly and painless as it can be. It probably has been quite a long run until now, and you probably deserve to rest.

Thank you. This means a lot

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best and I hope that you find what you search for.