My bus may be on its way

[willitpass]

I feel just so fucking hurt and lost right now. And to know that in a couple of days I once again have to return to normal life life nothing fucking happened for the third time this year.

 

[Z-A]

And it continues.

 

[-Link-]

I feel just so fucking hurt and lost right now. And to know that in a couple of days I once again have to return to normal life life nothing fucking happened for the third time this year.

Oh my gosh, I feel for you so much -- I really wish there was something I could say or do that would help alleviate your pain even a little bit.

All I can think to say right now is to just reiterate I'm hearing every word you say here, I'm with you all the way as best I can try, and I'm empathizing with you in a way that I can't even put into words.

 

[Lost Magic]

Wow! You have been through a lot. I'm so glad you managed to urinate, get out of that hotel and get back home to your cat. Whatever you decide now, and in the future, you know you are always loved!

 

[willitpass]

If I didn't have this place as an outlet I would be losing my mind right now. This place is the only thing keeping me somewhat sane.
The stuff I ordered in should be in soon and then I'm going to rent one of my favorite movies and try and enjoy it as best as I can.

 

[-Link-]

The stuff I ordered in should be in soon and then I'm going to rent one of my favorite movies and try and enjoy it as best as I can.

I hope your order-in and movie did you right!

Sending you strength and good vibes and wishing you a restful night @willitpass

 

[willitpass]

I ended up so into the movies and things I bought to work on that it's now middle of the night and I haven't slept at all. I just finished what I was working on so I've turned the lights out but I don't feel tired.
I feel weird.

 

[willitpass]

I haven't slept in almost 24 hours now and can't seem to be any closer to falling asleep.

 

[willitpass]

Still haven't fucking slept.

 

[Fangarina]

Still haven't fucking slept.

How are you feeling? Are you feeling any after effects or is there another reason you can't sleep? Hope you are ok, what a rough couple of days for you.

 

[willitpass]

How are you feeling? Are you feeling any after effects or is there another reason you can't sleep? Hope you are ok, what a rough couple of days for you.

I don't know. It's like all the sedatives wore off and now I have no sleep left in me or something. I don't know. But it's been over 24 hours now no sleep. I want to sleep so bad.

 

[Fangarina]

I don't know. It's like all the sedatives wore off and now I have no sleep left in me or something. I don't know. But it's been over 24 hours now no sleep. I want to sleep so bad.

I can't believe you are still awake, after everything you have been through your body must be exhausted. How are your heart rate and breathing? Is it worth getting checked over just in case?

 

[opheliaoveragain]

read all your posts on this thread. i'm so sorry you had to go through that. failed attempts are traumatic as shit—thank you firstly for keeping us updated. we definitely fuckin care and no one wants you to go through undue suffering. i'll be keeping an eye out whenever i'm on. I hope you can get some rest at a bare minimum soon.

 

[astr4]

I don't know. It's like all the sedatives wore off and now I have no sleep left in me or something. I don't know. But it's been over 24 hours now no sleep. I want to sleep so bad.

ugh, i'm sorry, not being able to sleep is the worst feeling. i hope you're keeping yourself comfortable and warm at least.

 

[willitpass]

I wish I was the right demographic to attempt suicide by cop. Unfortunately I check about just about every box to NOT get shot. I'm probably just about the least intimidating person possible.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I wish I was the right demographic to attempt suicide by cop. Unfortunately I check about just about every box to NOT get shot. I'm probably just about the least intimidating person possible.

I was picked up in the park once (long story) by EMS once. My hand unconsciously went behind my back and the officer yelled "PUT YOUR HAND IN FRONT OF YOU". If I had been of color I night have been shot especially since I was in a ruralish town.

I hope you're taking care of yourself. It must feel very weird to go back to your usual duties and tasks after that. I don't want you to suffer any sequelae but I am glad you avoid psych detention. Because, well, you know.

 

[sfdwx]

I'm sorry to hear that
For hanging, did you lose consciousness during hanging?
Did you lose control of your bladder and bowels during hanging?

I wish I was the right demographic to attempt suicide by cop. Unfortunately I check about just about every box to NOT get shot. I'm probably just about the least intimidating person possible.

Are you male or female? Seems cops less likely to shoot a female

 

[willitpass]

I feel really strange. Really tingly and just off. I still can't sleep.

 

[willitpass]

Got about 45 minutes of sleep. Still feel strange.

 

[willitpass]

I really don't feel well.

 

[willitpass]

Still no more sleep. I don't know if my electrolytes are fucked or if I did damage the other day but I just really don't feel well. Everything's tingly and just feels wrong I don't know how to describe it.

 

[fairygirl184]

hey @willitpass what time zone are u in?? i'm bst and can never tell what time ur posting :') anyway, i hope u get some rest soon. still thinking of u and checking in

 

[rollingthunder]

I'm so sorry for the traumatic few days you've endured. I'm glad you were able to get some sleep even if it was not a lot. Did any of the stuff you order have electrolytes? Might be good to get some of those in.

 

[nir]

Still no more sleep. I don't know if my electrolytes are fucked or if I did damage the other day but I just really don't feel well. Everything's tingly and just feels wrong I don't know how to describe it.

Only did a quick google, but low sodium is linked to restlessness and difficulty sleeping. Looks like imbalances in potassium, magnesium, and calcium can also fuck up your sleep.

Can you get Pedialyte? It has more electrolytes than just Gatorade. I think your levels are probably at the stage where IV infusion is what you need most, but I'm going off the assumption here that you still don't really want to go to the hospital.

 

[willitpass]

Only did a quick google, but low sodium is linked to restlessness and difficulty sleeping. Looks like imbalances in potassium, magnesium, and calcium can also fuck up your sleep.

Can you get Pedialyte? It has more electrolytes than just Gatorade. I think your levels are probably at the stage where IV infusion is what you need most, but I'm going off the assumption here that you still don't really want to go to the hospital.

I don't even know anymore. And I'd hate even more to go to the hospital and find out they're not even that bad and I've wasted my time and money. I don't care about myself enough to seek medical care either. I don't know.

 

[nir]

I don't even know anymore. And I'd hate even more to go to the hospital and find out they're not even that bad and I've wasted my time and money. I don't care about myself enough to seek medical care either. I don't know.

Oh god right, I forgot your healthcare is expensive :(

Maybe start with trying to get yourself some pedialyte. If you don't want to spend money on that, then just trying to find foods/drinks in your house that have decent levels of sodium, magnesium, potassium, etc, might help with your sleep.

Again, not a doctor here. Not sure why you can't sleep. I know that you're worried about getting checked, and I get it.

Although I *really* doubt that if you went to the hospital that you'd get normal blood work at this point. Don't let that worry stop you from going to get medical treatment.

 

[willitpass]

It's been over 36 hours at this point since I've really slept. That 45 minute nap hardly counts. Still not feeling tired. Still feeling strange. Feel like my mind is starting to slip too now from the lack of sleep. I don't know what to do with myself. Wish I had a gun.

 

[Fangarina]

It's been over 36 hours at this point since I've really slept. That 45 minute nap hardly counts. Still not feeling tired. Still feeling strange. Feel like my mind is starting to slip too now from the lack of sleep. I don't know what to do with myself. Wish I had a gun.

Just checking in on you to see how you are. Hoping you have managed to get some sleep now and you don't feel mega off

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I hope you're sleeping.

 

[nir]

How have you been feeling lately? It feels like ages since I've seen you post. Hope you're doing well <3