Wish I’d found this place sooner..

[Lush_nova]

Start of April, I went into auto pilot, left home with the intention of not coming home, I got very drunk, to try and block out thoughts not of my intentions, but memories I can't cope with. frustratingly I was pulled from a bridge after a concerned member of the public saw me from the window and called the police. I was thrown into a secure unit over night before being let out.
Last week, I flipped my lid, again very drunk, I went for my wrists with glass, yea that didn't work either.... ffs
Wasn't locked up this time, got arrested sent to a&e who didn't give a shit, let out and left alone to walk 30 miles home at 130am.... I didn't know the area so knew of no high bridges.

Reading through this forum, I'm seeing a lot that cutting wrists to CTB doesn't work, yet I've read via google you bleed out heavily with no hope of stopping it? Or is that just Hollywood fantasy.
My ideal would be that bridge, I just need to plan it better next time, and maybe not as much alcohol.

My issue is people accusing me of just attention seeking,.. apparently if I really wanted to die, I'd have thrown myself under a lorry that went past me when I went missing on a 2am walk , a lorry that was doing 30mph max. (Police and friends went looking for me, the friend spotted me and followed me till the police go there, hence him seeing the lorry)
How do you cope with people being dicks when you fail!?
I'm hoping 3rd times a charm but I need to wait, which is annoying I'm so done with it all. Till then I'm on the rum daily, 230pm and I'm slowly heading into a drink slumber land whilst self harming when my husband isn't around.

 

[Ivenocare]

Isn't it ironic that people try to raise awareness about suicide; but as long as people are discouraged to talk about suicide they will never speak up; being shamed and told they are wanting attention; of course I am pro choice myself; I just find it sad and humorous.

 

[lost_soul83]

Everyone wants to talk about mental "health" and suicide as long as everyone else shares their same opinion, that life is the ONLY way and if someone feels differently, they get locked up in a ward, which offers no real help anyway. My attitude is, "fuck 'em all," and just watch what you say around certain people. And trust no one completely.