Venting why would anyone post their FAILED suicide attempt, it’s really embarrassing.

[notevenhere]

there's people who go to school or work the next day like they didn't just break the rope after hanging the previous day or like, people who attempt and then throw up and two hours later, get back on discord playing video games with friends like it didn't just happen. i feel like people who are genuinely actually suicidal kinda doesn't make a big deal out of it, because it'll happen eventually and wouldn't matter. when i swallowed a whole bottle of benzos, i just kinda stayed out of it for a week until it was out of my system bc the hospital didn't have stomach pump and my piece of shit abusive family didn't wanna try to drive to another hospital that has it.

i feel like they kinda do it for validation but it genuinely pisses me off bc it means people still care for them and it's kinda just asking for attention? i made sure when i do die nobody will remember me bc it's been like a year or two since i actually interacted with an irl. i only have my boyfriend and even then, he's kinda anticipating the end of my life anyways by dissociating. we kinda accept it.

it's cringe im even talking about it instead of just doing it, like imagine me finally taking SN and throwing up - that's me failing - i would just lie and say i had food poisoning or something

im actually excited to ctb and very much relieved nobody will miss me. even if they do feel sad about the news at least im glad they think i was worth something which is literally a lie anyways - im worth nothing and anyone who'd be sad for my passing didn't really know me or is just kind.

im past my deadline for two months now i really cannot keep stalling…. i didnt think id be able to see the anime for my favorite game being adapted (needy girl overdose) and then see a new charli xcx album or even watch the drama with my bf tmr

kinda upset i haven't done it yet but these things take a lot of time and failing would cost me everything so yeah. just a rant.

 

[Shiitake]

wtf is this thread

 

[purebliss]

there's people who go to school or work the next day like they didn't just break the rope after hanging the previous day or like, people who attempt and then throw up and two hours later, get back on discord playing video games with friends like it didn't just happen. i feel like people who are genuinely actually suicidal kinda doesn't make a big deal out of it, because it'll happen eventually and wouldn't matter. when i swallowed a whole bottle of benzos, i just kinda stayed out of it for a week until it was out of my system bc the hospital didn't have stomach pump and my piece of shit abusive family didn't wanna try to drive to another hospital that has it.

i feel like they kinda do it for validation but it genuinely pisses me off bc it means people still care for them and it's kinda just asking for attention? i made sure when i do die nobody will remember me bc it's been like a year or two since i actually interacted with an irl. i only have my boyfriend and even then, he's kinda anticipating the end of my life anyways by dissociating. we kinda accept it.

it's cringe im even talking about it instead of just doing it, like imagine me finally taking SN and throwing up - that's me failing - i would just lie and say i had food poisoning or something

im actually excited to ctb and very much relieved nobody will miss me. even if they do feel sad about the news at least im glad they think i was worth something which is literally a lie anyways - im worth nothing and anyone who'd be sad for my passing didn't really know me or is just kind.

im past my deadline for two months now i really cannot keep stalling…. i didnt think id be able to see the anime for my favorite game being adapted (needy girl overdose) and then see a new charli xcx album or even watch the drama with my bf tmr

kinda upset i haven't done it yet but these things take a lot of time and failing would cost me everything so yeah. just a rant.

Brother, is everything fine?
This read like a psychotic episode.

Everyone copes differently with them failing their attempt. Ironically you posted yourself now that you failed a suicide attempt as well.

It is extremely arrogant to say that "your way of grief" is the right way and everyone else's way of coping with their issues is invalid.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I mean...life goes on whether you like it or not. Was I supposed to rot away after my failed attempt? Man I got bills to pay and assignments due. I gotta work. If I failed I might as well keep on living. Have some empathy.

 

[PaperAK]

It gets to a point where you just stop caring. I couldn't care less if I died or not, if I tried to die it's not like I was sad or happy or anything, it's just simply another task to complete my day. If it fails, then its nothing but a minor inconvenience to me, I just couldn't care less

 

[whywere]

Totally agree with @vyvanceandvodka, please have a lot of empathy, as we are ALL together and being negative of such helps no one ever.

Walter

 

[Bikishii]

So we're gatekeeping the validity of suicide attempts now just because someone decided to talk about it afterwards?

 

[U. A.]

Of all the things on this website to complain about (except you don't even really complain about it)

 

[spero_meliora]

of all the websites to lack empathy on...

 

[Exhausted546]

I mean...life goes on whether you like it or not. Was I supposed to rot away after my failed attempt? Man I got bills to pay and assignments due. I gotta work. If I failed I might as well keep on living. Have some empathy.

I understood it differently. The way I understood it
"You either fail,get up ,stay quiet about it and continue life as if nothing happened then try at a later date" which op has no issue with.

Op feels envious for those who fail, tell loved ones about it and get support from these loved ones as no one supported op that much. Op wonders if these cases aren't just cries for attention as if they were serious, op believes they would have continued their usual routine as if nothing happened instead of making a big deal about their failed attempt

 

[NotSoEnchanted]

There's no 'right' or 'wrong' way to be suicidal. I don't have the energy to hand hold you through why your perspective is fucked up, but please understand you're coming across as an incredibly immature and pretentious asshole.

 

[Matchaaa]

failed attempt isn't embarrassing at all. If you find it embarrassing, perhaps you should consider what societal norms have led you to feel that way.

 

[dhk96]

I understood it differently. The way I understood it
"You either fail,get up ,stay quiet about it and continue life as if nothing happened then try at a later date" which op has no issue with.

Op feels envious for those who fail, tell loved ones about it and get support from these loved ones as no one supported op that much. Op wonders if these cases aren't just cries for attention as if they were serious, op believes they would have continued their usual routine as if nothing happened instead of making a big deal about their failed attempt

That and maybe they meant those who blast the news of their attempt on social media for all to see. Rather than sharing how they feel with a like-minded community (i.e. SaSu), or even those close to them who would understand.

 

[neverexistedd]

how come every KAngel/NSO fan is always extremely toxic and lowkey psychotic ?

Spoiler: ."

and very often a minor too... I'd recommend the mods to watch this user more closely

 

[thelostautistic]

This is very insensitive

 

[Aflame5926]

would reporting it be a thing here? we got a report button but is that to warn or to ban ppl?

 

[SentientCreature]

I'm actually surprised at all the backlash in this thread.

Considering some of the posts I've seen I thought this was a place where we proudly display our insanity and get applauded for it

 

[xXSufferingXx]

"

why would anyone post their FAILED suicide attempt

" ?
uhh honesty, transparency, and so others can learn from their mistake

 

[webb&flow]

Why moralize suicide fatality? Genuine question.

Failure and success are subjective. A failure for dying is a success for living.

This is why it's better to say "fatal, non-fatal, lethal, non-lethal" than "success" or "failure".

i feel like people who are genuinely actually suicidal kinda doesn't make a big deal out of it,

There are people who genuinely make a big deal out of it and ARE actually suicidal. This is a very common misunderstanding, even among non-suicidal people.

No one should have to bottle up their feelings. People should be taken seriously when they express their emotions: We must cure the distrust against people expressing their emotions.

Wanting to die is a big deal. And so, people be able to express that.

because it'll happen eventually and wouldn't matter.

Not a reason to further stigmatize suicidal people even more than they are already.

I don't understand how you can have this perspective, after your 140+ posts on this forum. Surely you've read accounts of people who have expressed suicidal emotions openly and also seriously contemplate and plan for suicide. They aren't mutually exclusive, and never have been.

Please recognize your own experience with suicide is not the only one, and other people have differing experiences that aren't "morally inferior" to your own. This is probably internalized rhetoric from other people denying your emotions. People here might be angry at you, but the truth is, you're just in a common misunderstanding that many people have. I don't blame you for it. But I want you to see how things really are.

when i swallowed a whole bottle of benzos, i just kinda stayed out of it for a week until it was out of my system bc the hospital didn't have stomach pump and my piece of shit abusive family didn't wanna try to drive to another hospital that has it.

I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. That's really fucking rough to go through, how did you cope with that?

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

this is just about making yourself feel more secure in your own identity as a true suicidal by gatekeeping lol

 

[purebliss]

I'm actually surprised at all the backlash in this thread.

Considering some of the posts I've seen I thought this was a place where we proudly display our insanity and get applauded for it

Nobody "displays" their insanity here. For that you must go to forums like incels.is.

Here we are all with the same goal: Finding an end to our suffering in any way. Either by exiting or by getting help.

Nobody is "insane" here in any way. We are all just tired or in a terrible spot in life.

 

[WishfulNeanderthal]

This is insensitive, the key to this forum is that everyone here has their own unique experiences and lives. Would i judge you for doing something different from what i am? No.

Like many others have said, try not to judge others on how they percieve, react and deal with their own experiences and pains. A person writing a 1000 page post about a failed attempt is equally as valid as a person not writing any post.

I would urge to try and see things out of other people's perspectives, even if you are going through pain rn.

 

[SentientCreature]

Nobody "displays" their insanity here. For that you must go to forums like incels.is.

Here we are all with the same goal: Finding an end to our suffering in any way. Either by exiting or by getting help.

Nobody is "insane" here in any way. We are all just tired or in a terrible spot in life.

I wasn't referring to suicide topics. I wouldn't pathologize a desire to stop existing itself, although the nature of this place does inevitably attract some weirdos, what I said was just a generalization of some content I have encountered here.

The community is obviously not a monolith, there are incels on this forum too, and apparently some of the mods are related to the other forum as well

 

[purebliss]

I wasn't referring to suicide topics. I wouldn't pathologize a desire to stop existing itself, although the nature of this place does inevitably attract some weirdos, what I said was just a generalization of some content I have encountered here.

The community is obviously not a monolith, there are incels on this forum too, and apparently some of the mods are related to the other forum as well

Yes. But that is the absolute minority.
Most of the people here are in serious mental crisis because of a current life situation or like in my case already tired and suffering for a very long time and now giving up with their "fight".
Almost everyone here is very empathetic to their fellow people who are going through a terrible time.

As said. For true insanity there are forums on reddit like r/conservative. Thee incels forum. A lot of forums on dread. Pitch and a huge chunk of Twitter. None of them suicidal in any way.

 

[SentientCreature]

Yes. But that is the absolute minority.
Most of the people here are in serious mental crisis because of a current life situation or like in my case already tired and suffering for a very long time and now giving up with their "fight".
Almost everyone here is very empathetic to their fellow people who are going through a terrible time.

Tbf I don't spend much time on this forum. I've been more active in the past few weeks than ever before because I'm experiencing very intense brainfog and health issues that leave me unable to do much else, but I just got my SN so I'm not even sure what I'm doing here anymore.

I never really got the "supportive community" vibe because I'm quite distrustful and have kept to myself basically my entire life, including online. But it's nice that you and others can at least find some comfort in this place.

As said. For true insanity there are forums on reddit like r/conservative. Thee incels forum. A lot of forums on dread. Pitch and a huge chunk of Twitter. None of them suicidal in any way.

I agree. I stay away from all of these. I used to be active on reddit but now with that gone I'm completely free of any social media(except for this place I guess)

 

[Seneca65AD]

Of course it's embarassing, but the fact a person is prepared to go through that embarrassment shows how desperate people can become. I've discussed my most recent failed attempt in other posts and I still feel embarassment to this day, but the funny thing is I only feel embarrassed for me. When other people discuss their failed attempts, I feel empathy and a desire to let them know it's okay....and maybe that is the real purpose of the "failure" stories: To let people know it's okay to be fallible and there is no need to feel shame for being human. We are all in this together and the sooner people realize that, the sooner the stigma around mental health struggles will dissipate.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

 

[oneirataxia]

Well it's sure good to know that you've died twice.

 

[leoneliona]

This just feels like projecting lol

 

[U. A.]

Well it's sure good to know that you've died twice.

View attachment 198948View attachment 198949

The irony.
This thread can die now.