Discussion What is Your #1 Reason for Not Wanting to Live?

[elenaboo25]

I am afraid of growing old and my physical problems getting worse with age.

 

[RadiantNumber]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

Cause I don't want to get older (soon I'll be 31 and this is easiest slip road to 40 then 50 etc etc), I don't want to see my family dying I want to live in easier times even if in this easier times were hard one

 

[PaperAK]

There is no meaning in anything. There is no such thing as caring for someone, everything you do you do for yourself. People say they care about you because they care about you but in reality it's because it makes them feel better about themselves by being nice to someone. Everyone does things out f obligation in making themselves feel better, there is no such thing as helping someone because you're a good person. No one is a good person, everyone is inherently selfish.

Of course there's nothing wrong with it.. but in that sense there is no point in living. I do not want to live a false reality under the lie that there will always be good in life when there is not. There is nothing worth living for other than to stay a little longer to humour yourself. I want to accomplish good things in life, if I live, I want to become a doctor and help people to satisfy my own superiority complex of choosing who I want to treat well base off of how much I like them. Because I am selfish, just like everyone else.

 

[hybridize]

Eupd, complex mental health. Incredibly rare genetic disorder which has already left me blind in one eye and will blind the other one day, poor physical health with ongoing seemingly unsolvable vitamin deficiencies, recent heartbreak, being replaced with another man instantly. Now im terrified of relationships, love and vulnerability. Lost my driving licence due to impulsive bad decisions while having mental breakdowns. Lost my home, moved back in with my mum who makes me feel like a burden. I work alone so I'm isolated and don't earn enough to build a comfortable life for myself.

So truthfully it's hard to say it was only one of the above. All of them stacked has me feeling like I have no choice.

 

[adachichichi]

not having a white girl love me for 27 years

 

[DeplorableHuman]

I hate humanity, life, the vileness of evolution and by extension thereof, myself.

If a button existed that erases all life I would press it.

 

[SDB]

Lost my job it's impossible to find anything I've applied to 5,000 jobs, only did some basic contracts for the past ten years. I'm 45 and living with my senile mother it's hell.

I'm going to make a longer post on this I think. I'm going to ask for help from this community. Maybe I can get a remote job via someone here.

 

[meowzers3276]

#1 - i hate myself

i could go into depth about this topic but basically it outweighs any interest i have in life as a whole and anything pertaining to "me". its stolen my will to live

 

[starrypandabear]

Myself. All of the circumstances I face I could probably overcome but I just can't. Something inside me doesn't feel human. I cannot stand being in my skin.

 

[undecidedfool]

Depression, partially from genetics, partially from *gestures vaguely at everything* that

 

[DeadManLiving]

Resources

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Being or having been turned into a subpar player in the game of life. Life is a competition so if you lose there's no reason to get up the next day. Plus the reasons for continually being a marginal outcast who is progressively disempowered are only going to accumulate with age, bring you more and more irreparable suffering and make you less and less appealing to the lucky humans who won. Why pretend? Things would be so much better if we lived in a culture in which everyone was okay with death, including suicide for those who are objectively going to be rejected and looked down upon.

"Hey turn's out you lost"

"oh well, them's the breaks, I guess I'll go in to the final peace clinic and be put to sleep forever, bye!"

Wouldn't that be better?

 

[SarahThrowsGin]

Don't want to be a wage slave and waste hours of my life doing nothing to protect my self-determination while the system throws all to deny it and no one else cares to do anything about it.

 

[plantlife]

Vystopia.

 

[nitrogenous]

Threats of not being able to stay permanently where I am right now (aka getting deported) as that would possess a real safety issue.

 

[Too_Many_Years]

The immense despair I feel daily

 

[lonely2026]

My parents made up allegations about me in order to isolate me. I can't live with the humiliation any longer. I just want peace and I feel so lonely living alone it's destroying me. I am just working to live. I don't feel like myself anymore. Just a nervous wreck. I hope to be no more by the summer. I just hope my nasty family don't attend my funeral.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I self-sabotaged so hard because I physically can't bring myself to do anything that, now, there's no future left for me. The state of the world doesn't really help with that either as the rich get richer while the middle class fall into the lower class, which gets poorer

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,

Just here to give G-d money and notice everything else is worse and always will be. He could really take care of that without my presence.

 

[centipededrinksmilk]

There is no meaning in anything. There is no such thing as caring for someone, everything you do you do for yourself. People say they care about you because they care about you but in reality it's because it makes them feel better about themselves by being nice to someone. Everyone does things out f obligation in making themselves feel better, there is no such thing as helping someone because you're a good person. No one is a good person, everyone is inherently selfish.

Of course there's nothing wrong with it.. but in that sense there is no point in living. I do not want to live a false reality under the lie that there will always be good in life when there is not. There is nothing worth living for other than to stay a little longer to humour yourself. I want to accomplish good things in life, if I live, I want to become a doctor and help people to satisfy my own superiority complex of choosing who I want to treat well base off of how much I like them. Because I am selfish, just like everyone else.

My reason as well

 

[pinapellicer]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

Not having friends

 

[amber0011]

Depression. Derealization. Being mentally slow. Being unable to provide for myself. Being Asexual. Living with my mother who is controlling and was abusive growing up. Knowing life will never get better. Not being able to get around or defend myself.

 

[Feldsparc]

Hurt and drove away the person who cared the most about me, who used to love me like I loved them until I ruined it by being horrible and sinking into depression. A person I've accepted I cannot live without. And there is no escape from the memories of all the insane and stupid and thoughtless decisions I kept making.
No way to know how they're doing. No way to help them if it's bad. Probably because of me.
The thoughts and memories and regret are 24/7, I don't even need the tiniest connection to remind me anymore, it just plays by default on a perpetual loop, all day, all night, forever. And there is nothing that distracts from it or quiets it. I have tried everything. I don't deserve an escape from them anyway though.
My only choice is to CTB now because it will only keep getting worse. The more time passes, the worse I feel. Healing doesn't exist for me. No one can help me. I only resent the ones trying to get me to cling to life despite me explaining clearly why it's not worth it.

I feel like I could have written this. My past replays on a loop all day too. I've spoilt my life as well as my family's

 

[whatdoidonow]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

Because there is no time machine to revert my mistakes

 

[Rahat]

Having Multiple Sclerosis could be the driving force. I feel exhausted to the core of my being and don't have the efficiency to hold a job that brings enough money to save for children or retirement. I am lucky enough to not be disabled by MS so far but I am not very bright anymore. I come from a dysfunctional family and have received bare minimum help from my father, who happens to be the least toxic of the lot. My mother is toxic, likes to leave me with the least amount of resources and both my sisters are her golden children and ardent enablers.

So yeah, exhausted and without much support.

 

[X-sanguinate86]

Depression. Derealization. Being mentally slow. Being unable to provide for myself. Being Asexual. Living with my mother who is controlling and was abusive growing up. Knowing life will never get better. Not being able to get around or defend myself.

Not trying to delegitimize your pain but sometimes being asexual could be seen as a blessing.

 

[m3nhera]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

Pain(not necessarily physical for me) but in a way I think that sorta can apply to everyone here.

 

[The Dead Line]

Lack of money for sure. Did you watch the news recently? A famous singer called Lil Nas X was released after attacking a police officer. Why that happend? Because he has 10 lawyers and 10 sports car in the garage. If that happens to one of us here we won't touch the grass again for at least 5 years

 

[pollabii]

I know it's never just ONE reason, but it can definitely FEEL like it.

What is your #1 reason that pushes you over the top for not wanting to live anymore?

Thank you for sharing.

constant realization that i've lived my life being useless & not deserving of love and care. my breaking point was when my parents refused to take my mental illness seriously, denying me of treatment and medication, so now im just raw doging it until I finally stop this hell

 

[desire2ctb]

i don't think i ever actually lived to begin with. heavy dissociation throughout life, and complete lack of normal human experiences and skills, but the primary reason is probably gender dysphoria. something went wrong in my creation, i dont think i was ever meant to be alive.