sleazyyyy
Warmer when the kitsch of rot hits the stomach
- May 10, 2026
- 18
I relapsed again. I didn't want to ruin my skin anymore and hereeee I am.
It's strange how quickly hope can disappear. Earlier I posted about survival like I finally understood it, like I had made peace with staying alive. Now I'm back here again, wondering how something so fragile could ever hold the weight of a human life. I'm being pushed to the edge, honestly. I don't want to be impulsive but I'm slowly, slowly, getting there in ending it all.
I keep wondering what makes a person truly decide to CTB. Not just think about it, but become certain of it. So, that's my question. What solidified your decision to CTB? And for those who are aiming for recovery, what made you stay?
Maybe living is just that constant tension between wanting to disappear and still quietly looking for a reason not to. And I'm honestly on the verge of non-existent, LOL.
It's strange how quickly hope can disappear. Earlier I posted about survival like I finally understood it, like I had made peace with staying alive. Now I'm back here again, wondering how something so fragile could ever hold the weight of a human life. I'm being pushed to the edge, honestly. I don't want to be impulsive but I'm slowly, slowly, getting there in ending it all.
I keep wondering what makes a person truly decide to CTB. Not just think about it, but become certain of it. So, that's my question. What solidified your decision to CTB? And for those who are aiming for recovery, what made you stay?
Maybe living is just that constant tension between wanting to disappear and still quietly looking for a reason not to. And I'm honestly on the verge of non-existent, LOL.
