A
anonymous29
Member
- Feb 2, 2026
- 13
switching between insane, empty, overwhelmed, sad, and angry randomly
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Felt it on a manic episode, my parents brought me to the hospital, they injected me with something. I felt like I died, I was following an entity, I grabbed it and asked who I was. It told me that it's just you. There's no distinction, I'm you, you are me. I asked it why do I feel so much pain it just told me, it doesn't matter.I miss feeling like I was on the edge of nirvana
It was probably a deluded fantasy, but it felt real
It was a glimpse of what existing ought to be instead of what it is
Like being in the eye of a hurricane
I can't tolerate even the most basic shit because all I think about is that feeling
I don't want to live a life that isn't like that
I've read NDE accounts from people who reported something similar
For me it came from being a privileged junkie
i feel like you just perfectly wrote out an innermost thought of mine. i'm going to think of your excellent wording for the rest of the week or my life.Being abused by violent, brainless, evil idiots makes it so that you think you are deserving, because you are kind, loving, good, intelligent, wise. But what if someone else is also kind, loving, good, intelligent, wise? Does that make you undeserving? It's scary, isn't it? You want others to be great people, but your whole worthiness is tied to you being the only great person.