Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Unlucky777]

I thought of that also.

Road trip to Minnesota?

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Road trip to Minnesota?

I don't think it will be long until we see it everywhere.

 

[Unlucky777]

I don't think it will be long until we see it everywhere.

I pray I'm next. When are they coming to NJ? I'll rent out an SUV and stake them out

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I pray I'm next. When are they coming to NJ? I'll rent out an SUV and stake them out

Is Jersey a Blue State ?

 

[Unlucky777]

Is Jersey a Blue State ?

Last I checked yes it was. Who knows, I try to stay far far away from politics nowadays. Less politics in my life, the happier I am

 

[rainwillneverstop]

guilt and regret

 

[Catscratch]

Empty and exhausted. I wanna die right now

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Insomnia.... But tired... Watching Seth Meyers while typing. Depression. Wishing I had died in the womb.
There were also a few points in my life when I almost died but unfortunately I survived.
Wanting this wretched life to end.
Fat and Fugly. Lonely and longing even though I don't want to date. Why date when I don't want to be alive. Why bring someone else down.
Still wishing I had someone to hold for awhile.
Anger at being brought into this shitty world. Hatred for people who fucked me over.
People making life miserable for others, just because they can.

 

[itsgone2]

I'm sad that I made the wrong choices in life.
Me and my family should be happy.
Instead I'm alone and ruined and daydreaming about shooting myself. Such awful, violent; imagery.
I just hate it all

 

[InevitableDeath]

Disappointment

 

[Dejected 55]

Still congested. Less coughing, though. No headaches or nausea. I haven't taken any Tylenol in a couple of days now. The worst seems to be over. But now that means I can be more aware of the loneliness again... more depressed again... more aware of the world that is crashing in on me... more aware of the rest of the world that is falling apart... all the hate, the killing, the people who want to kill whether they have or not yet... the world really is falling apart, and so many people are gleeful about it. I am no saint... I am not perfect... but this world... every day there is less and less reason to want to be here. Even if I could become rich and live as a hermit... why would I want to continue to be here in this world? Alone or otherwise, this world is fast turning to shit, a race to the bottom... and people want to "win" that race to the bottom so badly that they don't notice the prize they seek is horrible.

 

[violetforever]

i'm so bored i actually want school to start already because maybe that will help

 

[amor.dor]

Over the past few days, I've been dreaming a lot about the past — reliving moments I had forgotten — and I wake up with a heavy feeling in my body. Those moments will never come back, and each day my body feels more tired. I feel more and more anhedonic, apathetic, and indifferent.

I looked at photos of my late ex and realized I'm starting to forget him, and that hurts in my heart… because I truly loved that person. And I realized that when I die, it'll be the same — people will always move on. So there's no reason for me to worry about them.
I feel like I can't help anyone anymore — I'm just putting in overtime in life.

I thought about talking to a loved one first, but it would be cruel to do that only to die right after. So today, I'll just do what I enjoy, tidy up the whole house, dress nicely… and it's better if by tomorrow I'm no longer here.
And may this house have only silence living inside it.
I don't feel any fear anymore...

 

[Unlucky777]

I never wear my seat belt because if I do get into an accident, I hope it kills me. I'm thinking of disabling my air bag. I just don't want to be here anymore.

I wish I could find a nice and high cliff that I could drive my car off of. I have thought about driving my car into a body of water but the thought of drowning terrifies me as I have traumas from 3 near drowning events before age 13.

I just want to put myself in dangers way in hope that it can kill me. Or that I would run into a crazy person with a gun and they shoot me. I just don't want to do it myself.

I view other people who get killed and always think to myself how they are so lucky.


Someone anyone please come and kill me now

 

[constantstruggle]

Want it to end

 

[Unlucky777]

I literally have no desire no interest in anything. I have so much I can do and places I can go but I don't want to do anything. I feel empty on the inside, it's quite possibly one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. I'm losing my will to live and I am trying to work up the courage to make my next attempt. It's very hard because I have no desire for literally anything right now. I wish someone would kill me by any means

 

[Manaaja]

What is the age of consent? I think many things cannot be consented to ever. So the age of consent is always out of reach.

 

[Unlucky777]

Consciousness is a curse.

 

[Dejected 55]

It's all sad and pointless. There was never a point, but we fool ourselves to think of one to keep going for a time. Eventually the facade falls away or is unsustainable. Some people never seem to notice, though, or maybe they just don't care. The rules change, the ground moves beneath you, everything shifts and what you thought was right five minutes ago is wrong now. Good is punished, evil is rewarded, it's all subject to whims of who is in power and who most people are following. Tomorrow things will be acceptable that were not today. You cannot adjust fast enough unless you are the one making the changes. There is no point.

 

[violetforever]

now you decide i'm not a child and somehow i'll get by

 

[Manaaja]

Better a happy gelding than a dead stallion.

 

[Unlucky777]

Death can't come soon enough. Wish I could have one of those accidental deaths that people in the news seem to be lucky enough to be inflicted with. How do these people get so lucky? I can only pray

 

[Dejected 55]

Another day, another waste. I go to sleep every night hoping I will not wake up. I always wake up.

 

[inkmage333]

It hurts. It really does. No one will understand because things look good on the surface, but it hurts.

 

[Dejected 55]

I wish I weren't here. I wish I was never here. I do not get my wishes.

 

[praythestars]

I feel guilt and sadness that I cannot help the few friends I have since their biggest problems are completely out of my control. I am an emotional sponge and I always feel like I'm not doing enough for them. I want them to know they're deeply cared about but when I tell them that in those words it still feels like I'm not getting the message across effectively. I wish for them nothing but endless happiness and tranquility. I wish I could take all their pain into myself and then die so the suffering is wiped away forever. I don't want to exist anyways, two birds one stone.


This is perfectly describes how I feel when I'm disassociated. It is blissful, finally feeling nothing after the constant turmoil and mental noise. I wish I could always feel like that. Thankfully in the past few weeks I've disassociated for several hours almost every day.

It was a pretty good week of it. I messed up and let myself feel something a few days ago and it broke the spell, but I think I'm back on track to I guess what I'd describe as benevolent dissociation. Usually it's pretty obvious when I'm dissociated, in like a negative way, where people notice more. I guess I'm evolving idk lol. At least when I have this new type it seems to go unchecked by the majority, but I can tell my partner picks up on...something, but it seems to just vaguely unnerve him in a way he can't quite place or even really realize that he's unnerved, so he doesn't say anything. It's pretty great.

When I'm not dissociated, I feel a lot like how you described. I feel like no matter what I say or do it's not enough, I always try to be there for anyone in my life when they're going through something, and always am available if they need me, but they don't seem to really believe it. I know this because I routinely find out they were struggling even as I was offering, but didn't feel able to actually open up or whatever.

I can't really blame them though, because I know I'm the same way these days. I guess the difference in my mind is I've never done anything but be loving and supportive, while whenever I've opened up even in a very calm, non-spiraling type way, people are consistently unable to just listen and understand what I'm saying. It always becomes about them thinking they did something wrong or something, or just completely misunderstanding the issue. Come to think of it, maybe it's just projection on their part, who knows.

I think I'm just going to go back to courting the dissociation. I feel like I did my little experiment in letting myself feel things again, it sucked, so fuck it lol. Good luck out there.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I wish I was an impulsive person. That would give me the courage to do something drastic and definitive.

But no, slow, endless agony it is.

 

[Dejected 55]

I wish for the end. I never get my wishes. It's one thing after another. Eventually even the small things add up, and there are always big things. Unresolved things are always there too. The longer you live the worse it gets. There is nothing redeemable in this world. Nothing gets better. Nothing changes positively. If there ever is change, it is always for the worse. Pain ebbs and flows but is always there and almost always unbearable. I am so tired. I am even tired of being tired.

 

[TiredOrbit]

Tired and emotionally on edge, i had to escape my house today bc my partners depression is worsening mine as i just love her so much and just feel useless not being able to help her either. We're both drowning and losing the small remaining of sanity that we have.
I'm just so tired.

 

[dhk96]

Today, mostly disgusted with myself and also tired as my baseline like everyone here. I wish this past year was all a dream. I wish my sister never came back so I didn't have to go through the crap that happened in 2024-2025 that's still continuing now and that I can't see the end of. Without going into specifics, the physical and mental toll has been so...insane and I'm still in disbelief of my current state. My OCD wouldn't be this bad if she had stayed with her deadbeat, cheating boyfriend with a weirdass choking fetish that she abandoned the family for years ago. Why did my parents decide that they needed to have me? Why couldn't they stop at one disappointment of a child?

Everyday is stressful. She lives rent free in my head because actively trying not to think about her or avoiding her just means that I'm always aware of her existence.

I am never completely at rest. What is peace? My body is always in fight-or-flight mode knowing that she's still coming home at the end of the day. I hide so I don't have to see her. I can't stop thinking of how to avoid seeing her. I can't stop resenting and despising her. I can't even feel at peace in my own room anymore. Stressed. I'm so, so stressed.