Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[SchizoPolyGymnast]

Badly out of breath. Would love an electric shock right now.

 

[itsgone2]

Life is too long. Why do we have to live to some random age?
It's just way too long. Plus everything is going to hell anyway. Let us out of this prison

 

[Natbee]

I feel broken, I feel like my whole world is spinning and I can't stop it from falling apart. I feel hurt by so many people. I just feel like it's too much.

 

[Custos]

Dunno

 

[amor.dor]

I feel stupid. In the past, I helped a friend financially to the point of nearly becoming homeless, but when I tried to talk to him — now that I'm trying to live again — he simply refused to pay back even a small part of what he owed me. I feel so foolish…

I miss my ex. In this life, he was really the only person who was truly good to me. My family matters little now — in the past, they were always caught up in drama with me because my grandmother wanted to leave her house and inheritance to me, with the condition that I'd share it with the rest of the family as I saw fit. But they created such hell in my life that I was forced to leave home…

People can be so selfish — they can cause tremendous harm to those who reach out to them… When I stop and think about these things, it becomes so easy to want to give up.
These political and financial problems in my country just make everything worse — so much violence. No matter how much I try to want to live, I feel almost forced to die.

...
And those thoughts from Hamlet come back to me:

---

(Shakespeare, Hamlet):

Who would bear the burdens of life,
To grunt and sweat under a weary existence,
If not for the dread of something after death —
That undiscovered country from whose border
No traveler returns — which puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear the ills we have
Than fly to others we know not of?

 

[urgent]

Extreme pain, fear and panic that I'll suffer severely again today with out a way to ctb, desperately want the pain to at least become more bearable, always tired, can't sleep, mostly just desperately trying to end the pain, I need it to stop, it's truly torture, every single part of my body hurts, so painful to get through a day, I think it can't hurt more than this but it does, even my fingers hurt typing this, basics like eating, drinking, brushing my teeth, sitting are extremely painful I need it to stop now

 

[ghosted1]

Excited because whenever I talk to my ex, it makes me so happy. Upset because he doesn't believe I'm suicidal. But he'll see, once I kill myself. (In short he's the reason why my life is damaged. I was okay, when he broke up with me everything was normal. But he had to take me back and damage me. Yet... I still try. I still care about him.)

 

[Pipps]

Unsure Really struggling with my life

 

[Dejected 55]

It's all a mess. A swirling mess of varying kinds, some more messy than others. Some of the messes are intertwined, many are unrelated. I can do nothing to resolve anything. I have no motivation to resolve anything. Any resolution implies that I want to continue to exist, and I do not. Not at all. I am so stuck in this limbo of existing and unable to exit no matter how much I want to be gone.

 

[spacealiens]

Tired

 

[GodzillasBiggestFan]

exhausted overwhelmed tired

 

[underairpressure]

i can't see the value in my life. i can't imagine anyone ever finding true "value" in me outside of using me as a punching bag or an object. people tell me they love me and i feel afraid that i'm deceiving and harming them, when i 'm worth nothing as a "person". i have nothing good to give them and i can never be their equal. only when people hurt me or use me does it feel like the world makes sense, like i'm doing what i was always supposed to do. i'm not human

 

[violetforever]

tomorrow is my first day of school. i haven't been in a classroom since i was about 14 because i did home school and i continued to isolate myself so much from the outside world since then! the only time i've been around other people in all of these 10 years is when i go out somewhere like a store. even then i only had minimal interactions with people. the class i'm taking requires us to talk about controversial and heavy topics so this should make my return into society interesting. i haven't been around people for years and now i'll have to discuss serious issues with them. my teacher seems really nice though. i loathe people my age or younger than me so i hope they won't be too bad. i'm kind of excited. i hope it goes well

 

[leaving_early]

Immeasurable sadness. I can't stop crying. I cry for hours everyday knowing that committing suicide will break my mom's (the only person I really care about) heart. I wish I didn't have to do it but I have no choice. I just can't go on anymore. There is nothing for me to live for. I don't want to stay alive in a world where AI exists.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Relentless pain, I hate how people act like emotions aren't physically felt too. I can FEEL it and it hurts.

 

[amor.dor]

After so many disappointments, I dreamed of all the mistakes I've made in life and woke up with a bitter taste in my mouth. My whole life, I've been used — by family, by work — and I feel stupid, frivolous, and useless. I deeply regret not having died with Sun. I'm so tired of life…

As a final act, I've at least been able to help a few people — to make some amends with my ex before I die. I had considered living a little longer, but I've exhausted all my options, and worse, I've been hit with one cold bucket of water after another. Now, though, I see myself standing at the edge of the abyss, being pulled into it… At this point, just one more step and it's all over. I've gotten N and have SN — either will do.

I haven't slept properly and have spent hours staring at both, even thinking about taking them together… Damned life — only while alive is it possible to feel so much pain.
To be or not to be… that is the question.
I guess I won't be.
I'm sorry

 

[inkmage333]

I'm probably a psychopath of some kind but I have a job so idrc about that rn

 

[Always-in-trouble]

Just worthless and stupid. I am really just imcompetent at everything and always need to be coddled hard by peers and guardians about most things.

 

[butters.s]

Angry with my fucking family

 

[Manaaja]

I pressed post and it didn't post.

well now it of course did, damn this

 

[litany_of_thoughts]

feeling like I can't do another 40-50 years of this, i can't even focus at work anymore, not that there's much passion left for that either. feels like i'm dreaming

 

[Dejected 55]

It's all the same over and over and over and over. Even different things are the same, and different things are rare. Everything hurts and depresses and sucks. There is no respite except during sleep, which can be hard to get into most nights. Most things are done minimally and only because there is nothing else to do in the moment. Sometimes I don't want to eat. Other times I want to get sick from eating too much. Then I regret being sick. Nothing is as I hoped it would be, nothing is even barely tolerable anymore. It all needs to end, but I can't even do that properly.

 

[scordatura]

I don't understand why I'm getting more and more depressed just now. I don't understand why I just can't seem to change. I don't really know what I'm feeling. I'm sick of feeling isolated while I'm around so many people. I can't get out. And I'm scared of someone I will lose, they are the only thing keeping me going. I don't like it when another person is what's keeping me going. People don't last. I was used to having no one, I had settled into it, got used to it. Good strangers was my life, now you are more than that, and someone I respect. I hope I can express my thanks to you when It's time to go. I can't get out of the past. I am living it even now, things should be okay but, I'll never get out. I am plagued by it. I hope you aren't judging me too hard. I am sorry.

Edit: Also thank you for this site. It is needed. Thank you everyone.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

I guess since things didn't work out with your post-haste foreign husband, I have to go back to being your little emotional punching bag monkey.

 

[spacealiens]

Fed up

 

[Dejected 55]

Crap on crap on crap... wipe some crap off there is still more underneath, now you have crap on your hands too, and more crap is dropping from the sky. All crap all the time, neverending crap.

 

[violetforever]

attachment to a person is so dumb because i really feel like everyday i'm living without them is so they can finally return to me and we can talk about everything that happened in each other's absence. all i want to do is talk about everything with them. i don't care if things will never be as they were before. i just want them near to talk with. i care about that so much. i know what people mean now when they say their heart could melt. i feel like my eyeballs could melt from how much my gaze softens just looking at them. oh well.

 

[CatLvr]

Sad and angry. It is 15F here and snowing/sleeting and the neighbors' dog has been barking for HOURS. Animal Control won't do anything because he has a dog house and a water bowl. I feed the poor thing a can of dog food every morning and evening under the fence because he was skin and bones. God, I hate people.

 

[fr1dgeDelv3r]

feeling like i am about to fly out of my body and laugh at it as it goes through life.

 

[Malfunction]

On the outside, I'm smiling and calm.

On the inside, I'm breaking and angry.