Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Lullaby]

(Random vent, totally feel free to ignore. Idk why my journal wasn't enough :\ you guys and this forum are the only ones who understand and don't judge.)

I feel like I love my parents, but I know I also have hate for them, too. They've contributed to so much of what I hate about myself, my life, and the trauma/PTSD I've been stuck with since I was a child.

I've also been really irritable lately and just seem to be annoyed with everyone. Everytime I feel guilty for becoming super reclusive and staying in the house, something happens that reminds me I'm better off alone.

I've just been staying inside with my cat, reading all day, and listening to music. I don't really care anymore about trying to make the life I wanted happen.

I honestly think if I magic had all the things I wanted tomorrow, I'd still be unhappy.

 

[darksouls]

when I was a child my mother sold my teddy bear.
supposedly because she needed money.
it had been there before I was born and always slept with me.
I inherited it from my sister who was twelve years older than me and did not want it anymore.
there was always money for alcohol and tobacco.
but taking away the teddy bear from the child

 

[Manaaja]

when I was a child my mother sold my teddy bear.
supposedly because she needed money.
it had been there before I was born and always slept with me.
I inherited it from my sister who was twelve years older than me and did not want it anymore.
there was always money for alcohol and tobacco.
but taking away the teddy bear from the child

My dumbass bitch mother didn't sell, she instead gave my toys away for free.

I have no love for any mother. All they can do is spread legs. Mothers should be locked away and kept faraway from children.

 

[Dejected 55]

Complete detachment from society, but not reality. I am woefully aware of how little I matter to anyone, especially the one person I wish most to matter to very much. The world hasn't just passed me by, it has lapped me... I have no place here, I'm not sure I even want a place here, certainly not alone as I always am. There is someone who could rescue me, but she will not... and I will hopefully die soon.

 

[itsgone2]

I really would like to ctb today. Like most days I've done little. Haven't dressed or showered. Barely any food. Still taking no pleasure in anything. I don't see me doing it and I can't see continuing to live my life either. Nothing else to say really. Just stuck.

 

[Manaaja]

Look under this spoiler:

Congratulations, you won the game!

I don't want to get self-banned, but I really want to stop using this site for a while. Because writing about things doesn't help. No one has ever won the game by writing about the game or reviewing the game.

 

[Bowerbird]

i want to be with her but i can't

 

[fuewybfunsfoiceoi]

324 days until ctb, and it's too long, I wish time would skip ahead, or for the ideal circumstance to appear earlier

 

[SunnySideSummer]

I feel weird , 50% less sad than usual

 

[FadingSnowFake]

So defeated and sad, even my physical health is starting to decline. All of this was just so unnecessary, why oh why are we here to be broken and die.

 

[Dejected 55]

I weird almost tranquility washed over me at some point yesterday as I realized... I could get a miracle and have my dream fulfilled and live the life I always wanted OR I can die alone, in a few weeks... and I'm equally comfortable with either outcome. While I want one much more, of course, I will not be unhappy with either fate, accepting them as truth in the moment.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I had a kind word from someone I work with, it meant so much I teared up.

Strange how one act of kindness can stop you spiralling down and give you a little lift

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Displaced, I can't shake the feeling that I shouldn't be here. Feel like a glitch.

 

[R-7]

Once again it's another night where things are getting to me.

Crying, isolating, just laying in bed etc. stuff like that. I also just laid down in my closet with the lights off for a few minutes just to simulate feeling 'nothing'.

 

[sukiduki]

being a side character in your own life sucks

 

[Grog]

I feel like throwing up because I'm so sad. I don't know if that makes sense.

 

[Dejected 55]

being a side character in your own life sucks

I wish I were a side-character... I'm just an extra in the background who says "peas and carrots" over and over to simulate existence.