Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Painless_end]

Sadness

 

[facel]

Conflicted. I don't know whether to give life one more fucking try, after so many disappointments, failures and shitty people, or just get ctb over with and find my own peace. The latter means I will really hurt the people I love most, and who love me, the former probably means continued, intense emotional and physical pain for years to come (which will probably still hurt those people as my depression has really been affecting them).

 

[Lauralyn]

I'm completely defective. Why don't I react normally to things.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I want to go so badly. My life started revolving around drugs and alchohol. Right now I'm drunk on vodka, high on weed, speed and benzos. I feel numb. No joy, no anger, no sadness, no anxiety, no interests, no boredom, no motivation, no resistance, no inspiration, no wish for communion, no burden of loneliness, no guilt, no fear, no pride, no shame, no ideas, no emotions. Just a whole lot of not caring and not being. Hollow, deflated.

 

[Meditation guide]

Right now I feel as if I'm in the ocean treading water without a life preserver.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I feel like crying, but for some reason I'm keeping myself together. It's very uncharacteristic of me…… I think when the wave of sadness and complete despair sweeps over me, I'm gonna be crying uncontrollably and won't be able to stop….. I wish I could stop experiencing any emotions. It's so damn tiring

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I feel like total dogshit. Like I don't matter to anyone. That I can never be a real human. That I will absolutely undoubtedly die alone in total isolation. I wanna hurt myself badly right now.

 

[Lauralyn]

I feel like I'd rather be anyone but myself. It would be nice to just have some normal people problems instead of this.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Today (cuz I'm that dumb) I realized something really trivial. No matter how difficult it is for you and how depressed you are right now, it can always get much worse. And it probably will….

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

My CTB motivation peaked right before I got the SN and now it's wearing off. To add to this I also started listening to people confidently claim to know specifics about the afterlife and other people claim to have scientific evidence for spooky things running contrary to physicalism (NDEs, evidence of reincarnation, refuting Darwin, etc).

Then when I sit down and think about what I actually know (in regards to the afterlife specifically, but also in regards to basically everything) I am left with nothing of substance, just a bunch of people claiming things. "All that I know is that I know nothing" was phrased well, but I would also doubt the claim that I know nothing. Fuck this planet, God bless.

 

[Seaghost]

Feeling betrayed. Not good.
Don't trust. Even if the says the'll help you. At the end you're alone.
Don't trust

Don't
trust

...I'm so empty

 

[TheHatedOne]

Feelin' brokenhearted. I'm all alone in this world. It will never change.

 

[odradek]

Things really are at a breaking point. It feels like the end of the line. I just want it to end, I don't want to try anymore. Not that I've really been trying for more then a year now. The only person who wants to help me I can't stand to be around or talk to most of the time. I think this is a sign, I am and have always been alone for a reason. I have nothing now, I can't even buy food. Seems like a good time to go, I just need the strength to take the final step...

 

[auror.]

I wish I could be wiped from the memories of everyone who has ever met me.

 

[Manaaja]

I didn't know you could hurt your head this badly from crying. I feel like someone smashed it with a sledgehammer, I feel like I have internal bleeding in my head.

 

[aludnelac]

i am detached from everything, no one seems to really understand, i just want it to be monday already so i can distract my mind once from suffering.. i'm so tired of this cycle, i wish it would all end soon..

 

[Buried_Kid]

I'm a bit tired. I'm sad because I know I'm going to do a lot of damage to my loved ones if I CTB soon. I don't know what to do. I'm confused. I'm tired, again.
I'm tired of thinking about that, and of thinking about thinking it, and thinking about talking about how I overthink things. I know it's stupid. I can't be rational. I know I'm just useless and, even if I'm not, I don't want to help others, therefore I'm a dirty egocentric. I hate that. I hate being so stupid to be unable to have a great time and live my life that's full of good events. Everyone would love to have the life I have. I'm so lucky to have this life and so ungrateful for just wanting to end it all. I'm a lazy piece of flesh. And a attention seeker as well.

And yeh. That's how I feel, not just today, but the last days as well.
Have a nice day. <3

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

My personality keeps changing every hour, fuck this planet.

 

[SleepDealer]

I want to lay in bed and enjoy the comfort of warm blankets and pillows. It's always nice to lay down. My love for sleep and comfort is the one thing that never changes. I only wish I could daydream again, but I'm too exhausted to craft stories in my head anymore.

 

[Riddles]

I feel like... Life has become way too hard.. I have become very poor.

 

[odradek]

Today is the first day where shit will really start to fall apart. How long will I be able to hide before it all catches up? That I do not know...

 

[BottomlessPit]

I will stop fasting now. My mistake was that I became too emotional, and I don't even now why that happened. I'm not sure I can ever come to grips with what happened during the past 15 hours. What would hʚll have said if she saw how weak I have become? How I failed my principles?
Now I have to experience the total clusterfuck that is going to be the next week & months. I have no one to blame but myself. Now maybe if I can quit sobbing like a baby I can prepare for the consequences of my indecision, like a goddamn adult. Just clench your damn teeth.
But there is hope, after all. This may have been the perfect opportunity, but it won't be the last. In the future I will be able to do it with less preparation, so there will be less time for pointless inner turmoil to arise. But still, this delay is utterly unnecessary.

 

[daddy Phil :)]

Kinda mad, but happy too.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I wish I don't wake up.

Good night y'all.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I'm so exhausted. God knows I try so damn hard just to make it through. I work my ass off. And yet I can't keep things from crumbling...
I was better for a while, but now I feel like everything is falling apart again.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Mornin'.

I woke up.

 

[Callie Arcale]

Mornin'.

I woke up.

I guess I could say "Good morning", but maybe "I'm sorry" would resonate more… I think you are like me… and I don't want any more mornings :-(

Hugs

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

I guess I could say "Good morning", but maybe "I'm sorry" would resonate more… I think you are like me… and I don't want any more mornings :-(

Hugs

Well, since it is morning (again) I guess it's better to have a good one than a bad one.

 

[Manaaja]

Today I learned: Some of the priests who struggled with lust would hold their hands over candles to get rid of it.

I wonder what would have happened if Frollo had gotten her burned. Probably on the very same evening he would have asked "Where's Esmeralda? I'm horny and wanna bang her!" and the guards would have answered "You just burned her dead an hour ago, sir." "Bu-but! How is it still possibly for me to be horny if she's been burned? Maybe it wasn't a spell cast by her on me after all. Maybe it was just regular horniness. Fuck. Shouldn't have burned down the whole Paris for her."

Esmeralda is dead, Paris is burned down and Frollo is still horny. .........Ten bitcoins says he doesn't know about masturbation. "Pure white after all" hehe,

When I was a kid I wanted to be a Catholic priest, I was religious, I preferred Catholicism over all the other branches, I was asexual so I was fine with celibacy, It also seemed so cool in all the media. But there were many reasons why I could never become one.

 

[odradek]

Phew, for a minute there I lost myself.