Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[effervescent]

Despite everything I always end up sabotaging myself. It's embarrassing how I've wasted years of my life prolonging the inevitable with nothing to show for it.

 

[theangelswept]

I really want to go back out on the patio and smoke another cigarette to stave off these terrifying suicidal thoughts. I can't tell if the thoughts are terrifying actually... or just really comforting. I love sasu.... I love it here so much.

 

[nitrogenous]

Tired, exhausted. I thought that I've just been mentally unwell, but nope. My physical health also deteriorates. I think I'm burnt out and I just can't do anything anymore.

 

[Xi-Xi]

If I died today, I would be doing the world a service. And I want to do something good, so why am I making things actively worse for society?

 

[maylurker]

shaking from adrenaline holiday celebrations take a toll on me

 

[Dejected 55]

The end to the end-of-year trilogy of horrible holidays is near... Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's... Valentine's Day comes soon enough... but these flow fast and furious and society beats it into you that something is wrong with you if nobody likes you and you don't have friends and family for these holidays. At least with Valentine's some people say being single is ok and others balk at the holiday even if they have someone... but these end-of-year family/friend traditional ones... you get beaten down by others for not having anyone and you beat yourself down for being alone... and by the end I'm a paste on the floor and unable to care about anything. Why am I still here? I tried to not be... and I couldn't get that right either.

 

[Eternal Pessimist]

Another year almost over. Another year that I told myself would be the last one, but it wasn't, as usual.

I haven't written anything on here for months. It's not because I've been miraculously cured, but because there's very little to say anymore. I'm miserable and that's about it. Yes some days are better than others, in the sense that they're not as bad, but there are no good days really.

Maybe 2026 really will be my final year. Probably not, because I'm a coward, but I hope so.

 

[BlendedHeart]

I don't know why I feel this way. It's just another day. Nothing special. I'm lonely every day. Why today should it be different? It's just another day.

 

[maylurker]

my mood is better than the flatline ive been in for the last weeks

 

[Kirke]

I'm, uh, in a limbo state. Just a second ago I was watching fireworks and listening to a person saying that friends don't exist, and now I'm stuffing myself in the kitchen in the dim light, listening to jazz. It feels like my senses, like a mountain climber, are trying to reach the top, but an avalanche of snow has just swept them away. I feel nothing except that what I ate shouldn't have been eaten. I know I have a tough day tomorrow. Unrelated to food, that is.

 

[ceelobling]

my head hurts and feels heavy. i feel like shit right now. im so done with all this shit.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Sick because I have flu.