Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Dr Iron Arc]

Had a horrible loss streak in ranked Pokémon Unite today. Why'd they have to nerf all the defenders, man I just wanna play tanks. I finally got a win but it ended up not mattering much because I'm still in Ultra-5.

In other news I forgot to call for a therapist today even though I probably need one, but do I really need one? I have no clue.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

My Autistic Ass VS. 6-Week College-Level Science Course (Online):

(I legit just wanna die already)

 

[Heartaches]

TW: Implications of SH

Sad, lonely, worthless. I want to harm myself to release emotions.​

 

[abchia]

I feel thirsty, disgusting, and ugly. I'm supposed to hang out with others tomorrow but I hate how much I look that I feel ashamed to be seen by them. I feel like they're embarrassed to be seen around me even though they've never said anything remotely close to that. I want to bail but they will just reschedule, or I'll just be stuck alone at home which never leads to anything good. I can't feel anything positive without breaking down and sobbing. I can't look in mirrors for too long either. I really want to no longer be here and I also felt more numb than I've ever felt before these past few weeks that I just want to hurt myself to feel something. To feel anything.

 

[HereTomorrow]

Took Valerian Root capsules and instead of sleeping I feel kind of a disoriented sleepy feeling.

My mind is half dreaming, I'm finding myself flowing in a dream like state. I'm conscious enough to realize this and typing and it's not as strong as my major dissociation I felt for a few days but it's scaring me yet I feel nothing. I feel so calm. I'm too calm and staring at the ceiling with a "I'm in agony and there is no one to scream for" feeling.

I just wanna sleep man. I'm so tempted to go to the sedative but no, I need more melatonin. 12 mg didn't help though. I don't know what I'm saying.

 

[sukiduki]

i feel so lost and lonely right now. i feel so left alone, i don't know where to turn. i have no one to turn to.

i have to focus on work. but i don't want to.

i want to cry.

i want to go to sleep and never wake up.

nothing seems worth it.

 

[innominesatanas44]

No point in continuing

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Family member caught me looking at SH shit/tips bc of this exam tomorrow:

 

[CTB Dream]

No have slf no any feel lose out space time no any no thing

 

[Lady Laudanum]

At a modelling gig while high out of my mind on mushrooms lmfao

 

[HereTomorrow]

I'm tired.

I want touch and hugs. Got a cold, recovering from Valerian Root side effects, and passing the time by listening to podcasts.
I just want to cuddle. When I'm not down with a cold.
Tired. Tired...

 

[PinballWizard39]

Like I just want to have a therapist in front on me who will listen to me goddam scream about how much I'm hurting and how much I desperately need someone to care enough to help me so that I don't have to kill myself.

 

[jarik]

i feel a lot of tirrene ed
I feel a sense of emptiness
i feel mental pain

 

[cowboypants]

Tired and don't know if ending is the right choice for me. I feel insignificant and it makes me sad

 

[BlendedHeart]

I want all this hatred and sadness I feel to end.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Stressed out because I have a midterm today.

 

[QueerMelancholy]

Tired miserably tired. Too tired to be tired.

Like the blood pouring out of my bones is fueling my exhaustion.

Life is so exhausting.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I somehow stayed up all night now it's 6 am which normally is whatever but I actually have work today so I really need the sleep.

 

[PinballWizard39]

I've had a real shite day at work. I nearly lost my shit at a condescending work colleague who wouldn't get out of my face, which left me having to back away before I lost it and had an anxiety/panic attack (Seriously, I'm the most un-angry person you could ever meet, it's actually unhealthy, when I feel anger like that, I literally don't know what to do with it). This drove me to be real petty in what she was asking of me. I can be the pettiest if you push me enough. (You want the fridge full of antibiotic packs? Fine, I'll fill the entire fucking department of antibiotic packs!!) I went to chat with my Chaplain friend over lunch and then I received a call from a mental health professional who continued to condescend me. She kept saying she was hearing what I was saying - she wasn't, and couldn't accept it and made me feel even worse. A conversation that kinda goes 'I'm the professional, you're the mental one'. Just fuck off. I ended up kicking a wall lol. A friend invited herself over for drinks, then dumped me again before I could even respond to her original self invite of drinks. So yeah, that's how wonderful my day has been.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Stressed out because I have a midterm today.

Well, I don't think I did good!

 

[cgrtt.brns]

so fucking tired. wondering if im reducing my meds too quickly. its pouring with rain now tho so thats nice. i like the sound of rain, its calming. and the smell. right as i typed this it stopped raining. fucking typical. i cant stop thinking about food and being too tired to do things to distract myself is fucking awful bc i either eat too much out of boredom and sadness or i obsess over food so much i cant concentrate on anything else for no fucking reason even if i just ate and it drives me fucking insane. i never know when im full until im about to throw up nor when im hungry until im about to faint from not eating, like i never feel full or hungry, i always just eat when i get fed up of my brain just not shutting the fuck up about food. and it doesnt help that theres so much fucking junk food in the house so when i dont have the energy to make something i just give in and eat a bunch of crap and feel like shit. i fucking hate food so much. i hate that i cant stop thinking about it. the last few weeks ive thrown up nearly every day bc i just cant fucking eat properly. WHY IS IT NEVER ENOUGH WHY CANT MY BRAIN JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP IM NOT HUNGRY SHUT UP

 

[HereTomorrow]

As obvious as it may sound, "Touch grass" really does do wonders to aid mental health.

In other words, I spent my days off work sick, wasting one of those days nearby bedridden. And I'm now back at work in an enclosed windowless room for 8 hours a day, actually, tomorrow I'm scheduled for 9.5 hours. Fun. My next day off is on Wednesday. Double fun.

I really could use a walk outside on a bright sunny day, with friends, actually enjoying life instead of spending time scrolling on the Internet or playing videogames on my rare times off. The sun usually sets when I'm finally done with my shift, and I'm too lazy to walk in the morning.

Yeah, I need to touch grass.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

As obvious as it may sound, "Touch grass" really does do wonders to aid mental health.

Rip people with allergies and a fear of bugs.

 

[innominesatanas44]

The only solace I have is knowing that someday it will end and I could end it myself any time I like

 

[jjxt94]

just bad future perspectives getting me stressed

 

[fleetingnight]

Everything is fucking annoying me. I don't know why. Everything's making me angry. Everything's making me nervous, too. I wish I could run away from myself. Every sound I hear makes me want to hit something. I feel like crying or screaming, but neither would make me feel any better anyways. Just waiting for this edible to kick in. All I can do, all I ever do. At least it'll make me nicer.

 

[CTB Dream]

Rly awfl life no want stay wrld

 

[Mebius]

I feel nothing.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

I can't take another day and I don't know why I am. Stuck in the same place for the nth time and I don't know what's real and what's flashback and it's driving me insane insane insane. I need to do something. Something needs to change. I don't know what. I've pulled on all the threads I've possibly could, why do I keep believing that there's something left?!
TURN IT OFF

 

[HereTomorrow]

I worked almost 10 hours yesterday and the 20 year old time clock didn't register the last 3.5 hours I worked, bringing me to 38.5 hours instead of 42. The time locked in as well for the paycheck, though I'm aware I'm legally entitled to the overtime pay. I told the overnight manager to note my clock out time before I left and now I'm gonna ask my manager to confirm if I did get 42 hours or did the time clock finalize it as 38.5.

Call me greedy. I want the overtime money. I'm tired, but I want money. I worked for it. Why must I fight.

We've lost like 3 people in my department and they're putting it all on me for a few bucks over minimum wage. I want another raise. I'm greedy, I'm doing triple the work. I just wanna rest, but no, for I'm going back to another 9 hour shift today.