Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Life_and_Death]

im just gonna say again..
is now really the moment to care about quitting...

 

[darkestdreamsx]

worthless, self hatred, laziness. yanno, the usual

 

[PinkyStat]

Stop being a bitch

 

[Pallf]

I'm ok with myself ctbing, but I don't want my friends to do it. Hypocritical much?

 

[Life_and_Death]

you opened my eyes to what he was doing to me... then when i cried you weren't there....
youve been 'yelling' at me for years to open my eyes...
then when i needed you.. you were gaming with your friends..then had to go to sleep for work and now youll be busy with work/sleep until next tuesday....
i stayed awake all night waiting for your comfort that never came...

im sorry i opened my eyes... it hurt less....

 

[Sylveon]

There's no escape. I feel like my head is gonna explode.

 

[Life_and_Death]

you know whats wonderful?

listening to someone that r*pes tell you that "you use to be able to see things from other peoples view"
you dont want me to start on your pov. i fucking told you no!

and hes the only one talking me out of killing myself right now

 

[Unhumanly.]

I just self harmed myself, i burnt my skins with heated stuff that melt my skins and then pulling off the melted skin too
That was very brutal

 

[Life_and_Death]

my exhus "i noticed youve been at your limit and youve finally went over it"
please, you cant possibly suggest i go to see a doc?

what bring you here today?
i have no family, friends and i live with my exhus that r*s me because i want to be with someone else but have no wheres to live so i have to put up with it

tell me you wouldnt?

 

[Kit1]

I just want to die. Perhaps tonight will be my release.

 

[Krobo]

Feeling my mortality creeping in. Filled with dread, a suffocating feeling like walls surrounding me are closing in and crushing me.

Nembutal's already expired, so I can't put this off anymore. Not even if I wanted to. 3 weeks

 

[Life_and_Death]

my exhus "so you need more drugs?"
but you dont see the problem with yourself huh? funny

 

[leaf23]

Scared today, which is making me brace to expect the absolute, absolute worst.

Hate this because I know I'll be exhausted before long but..how do you tell your brain to stop doing this again? It's like my brain is tied to a treadmill, with no means of getting free just running and running in circles.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Just now I was really pissed off because of a post made under a subreddit for something that I happen to really love. I ended up cutting myself. The entire time I couldn't help but think about how dumb it was that I was so upset over this. This wouldn't be the first time something this had happened. Two years ago, somebody made a comment I didn't like about I character that I was really attached to at the time. It didn't help that they were supposedly a fan of them. It led me to become incredibly angry (much angrier than I was this time around). I ended up snapping several pencils and pens out of rage. It took me a while to calm down.

I have a tendency to get very overly attached to things that bring me comfort. It's not uncommon for said attachment to sometimes become extreme for certain periods of time before dying down a bit. I guess sometimes you can't help but grab on to anything that brings you some modicum of joy and squeeze it until you've exhausted every last bit of pure joy from it. Sometimes, during that period of hugging and squeezing it, you may end up becoming extremely protective of it. It's pathetic...

Anyway, I've calmed down and now I'm feeling more neutral. I'm probably going end up becoming depressed once Monday rolls around and I have to back to classes. Until then, I'm going to pretend that I don't go to uni and just relax.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm a creep.... I'm a weirdo....

I really don't have friends anymore. No one texts unless I text first.
People I work with think I'm creepy. They don't say anything but I can tell.
I don't know how to connect with people. I seem to creep out men and women.

 

[Life_and_Death]

what do you do with something you dont want anyone to read but you dont want to keep to yourself..
the last time he...... i wrote up a a small paragraph.... i dont want to share it...but if i kms i dont want it dying with me...where he can just open my laptop and delete it like it never happened...

 

[ctvunny]

Feeling anxious about my future

 

[Dliena]

Just had the worst and longest panic attack of my life. And to put icing on the cupcake I'm sick as a dog now! I love life!!!!!!

 

[SoulCage]

Just feeling so damn hopeless and like a disappointment. I still have 2 people left who want to help me but I just have nothing to look forward to. I only could go back to a wageslave life to consume pleasures that are created by other humans who are suffering. Everything I touch, use, eat is completely or partially linked to suffering. I don't want to be part of this anymore.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Unmanly... Diary Of A Whimpy Man....
I'm not even a hot nerd. There are guys who nerdy and are good looking.
I guess it doesn't matter.... The wanting to die thing...

 

[Life_and_Death]

i woke up at 4am (after only just going to sleep) thinking its depressing that my body has been trained to go to sleep to avoid unwanted s*x..then instantly and violently wake up so i can talk to/check on my bf...
then i went back to sleep and woke up at 8.

 

[aby62zqki]

Feeling anxious about my future

 

[SecretDissociation]

I feel numb. I want to die. I want to give up on medication. I want to give up on seeking help. I want to cut my arms open. I want to become nothing. I want myself to become nothing. I want to have peace that everyone around me will keep on living while I remain dead. I want to stop these feelings.

Also my mother slapped my arms (playfully?) cuz she knows I sh'd and they hurt now :( I am also sad it is so hard to get SN in the UK.

 

[Pallf]

I feel this as a woman. I can't connect with anyone, if I do it's because I offer myself up for whatever they wanna do. At this point I'm just tired of it all.

I'm a creep.... I'm a weirdo....

I really don't have friends anymore. No one texts unless I text first.
People I work with think I'm creepy. They don't say anything but I can tell.
I don't know how to connect with people. I seem to creep out men and women.

 

[doormat25]

I feel homesick.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

(Watching the Natalia Grace documentary) Avoid those with disabilities. Stay away from us. Commenters, people. You all continue to act so cruel and callous, and people continue to let you.

 

[pole]

a deep sense of self-hatred.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i love it when people just prove me right while trying to argue that im not.
"shrooms are good for everyone youre just not ready to change"

see...now thats really funny because all my shroom trips showed me was that human beings f'en suck and therye always going to suck and the only way to escape the life long bullshit is to kill myself... and youre sitting here arguing with me that shrooms are good for everyone, only proving my point that humans suck because no one ever thinks about individuality. no i didnt have those physical reactions because of the shrooms, i had the physical reactions because i have chest problems, an eating disorder ect. see how individuality works?
youre gonna tell the person thats literally been abused every single day of life that they have to change?? fucking please XD XD learn how to open your eyes

"youre just not ready to change" thats really really funny, because it didnt even tell me to change. it just enhanced everything i already knew. whats that say about your trips XD XD XD maybe you should have another one. i dont think youre done changing.

---

another night of shitty sleep...
and i didnt even try to stop him this time... partially because im tired of it.. partially cuz i was drunk..not in a mentally out of it way, but physically. somehow my brain still works but my body becomes mostly useless XD

my bf wants to be with me but my life sucks and now hes depressed and suicidal... i cant keep my life away from him so hes ok and be with him at the same time....
at least its finally the 8th i guess.. we* can call my doc later about my disability $ paperwork and new psych... although i doubt it will make a difference. ive improved a lot... but that improvement doesnt matter if other people are just going to keep hurting and rejecting me... "be happy and love yourself".. again, prove my point. im not disagreeing about loving yourself but... all youre saying is be happy with living alone...thats just....do you people listen to yourself!!!?
i hate seeing families together,, friends hanging out... past all the hurt im the nicest person you could know.. ive literally taken my jacket off for people (my cats and my little brother), ive bought a homeless person a sandwich and stuff... i took my "friend" in last second when she said she was being abused...
what the hell did i do.....
and then all people see is the hurt because thats all i am now... so i get judged for being abused.. yeah..that makes me feel better... why should i even want this useless planet...

(we* i have to get my exhus to call because extreme social anxiety/agoraphobia. hmm... i wonder why i have that?? )
(where the hell are these paragraphs when im writing my threads)

 

[anxious_depressive]

I guess depression has finally won me over.
I'm scared. Very scared.

I feel crushed, apathetic,
anxious.
And suicidal.

But I have to pretend that I'm okay. (or I'll end up in a psychiatric hospital)
I'm so fucking tired.

 

[Princess_Kitty]

Depressed, lonely and just ready to leave this world behind. And wondering what's the point of a sister if they just ignore you :/.