Weighing my options

[Jlt]

I've felt suicidal for ten years.
Why the fuck can't I do it?
What the hell's wrong with me.

I have to leave in the next few days.
Here are my choices:

1. .9 mm that I have never shot or held

2. A 90 ft parking garage

3. full suspension hanging in our attic

which is the most likely to succeed?

Thank you all.

 

[faust]

I am sorry you are experiencing so much troubles in your life which led you to this decision...
if you know, where to aim, .9mm can be good. But as you say, you never held it, that can be potentially dangerous and it won't guarantee anything, you have to practice.
90 ft parking garage may be okay if you fall on head, but if not on head, likely to be saved
Full suspension is the most reliable thing if you do it as follows and are not saved by somebody.

 

[UpandDownPrincess]

Nothing's wrong with you. The survival instinct is strong and difficult to overcome.

As for your options, I really couldn't say. The jumping idea sounds most likely to wind up with you sitting in a psych ward with a bunch of nonfatal injuries.

I see you've been here a long time. What's the rush, all of a sudden?

 

[Jlt]

My health is failing. I may end up in prison over my taxes. I am filled with guilt.

So many reasons.

 

[faust]

My health is failing. I may end up in prison over my taxes. I am filled with guilt.

So many reasons.

That's horrible... You say that you have been suicidal for 10 years. It is very long time. And now all these problems... The situation is very bad, but still it is up to you to decide. What is wrong with your health now and can the issue with taxes be resolved?

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

Dude please think about this

 

[Cave Johnson]

Dude please think about this

I'd say that with him/her being suicidal for 10 years, they probably have. I encourage people to think through the decision properly and logically to ensure it's really what they want, buit begging and pleading with someone you don't know, and who doesn't know you, is likely not going to have any impact whatsoever.Listening to people plead us not to kill ourselves isn't why we come here, if we wanted that most of us could go talk to almost anyone irl. We come here for discussion on the issue or information on methods and method effectiveness.

 

[Jlt]

I have a type of schizophrenia. It does not respond to medications. I have issues with logical thinking and delusions.
My physical health is declining for unknown reasons.


As for the tax problems, my bank reported me to the IRS
I simply do not have the funds to pay my years of back taxes.

Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

 

[Painless_end]

I have no interest in anything in life. I actually WANT to die.

Even I can't bring myself to do it.

I have been born with all these things simultaneously : lack of interest in any activity, no passive ability to earn income that I can do without thinking or having to take much responsibility and fear of hurting myself in a suicide attempt of any sort.

I also get bored of any kind of routine very quickly.

This dichotomy means I tend to spend most of days / times literally sitting on my couch either browsing Youtube (I hate any other "personal" social media like Facebook, Twitter) or just daydreaming about CTB.

 

[Cave Johnson]

I have a type of schizophrenia. It does not respond to medications. I have issues with logical thinking and delusions.
My physical health is declining for unknown reasons.

I can definitely understand the whole "Mental and physical problems" issues. If you ever want to talk I've got an open ear(or would it be eye?).

I have no interest in anything in life. I actually WANT to die.

Even I can't bring myself to do it.

I have been born with both these things simultaneously : lack of interest in any activity, and fear of hurting myself in a suicide attempt of any sort.

This dichotomy means I tend to spend most of days / times literally sitting on my couch either browsing Youtube (I hate any other "personal" social media like Facebook, Twitter) or just daydreaming about CTB.

This is kinda how I feel too. It's why I've started looking for CBT methods that have aas close to 100% success rates so I don't fuck it up and end up simply injured and in a ward.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

I have no interest in anything in life. I actually WANT to die.

Even I can't bring myself to do it.

I have been born with all these things simultaneously : lack of interest in any activity, no passive ability to earn income that I can do without thinking or having to take much responsibility and fear of hurting myself in a suicide attempt of any sort.

I also get bored of any kind of routine very quickly.

This dichotomy means I tend to spend most of days / times literally sitting on my couch either browsing Youtube (I hate any other "personal" social media like Facebook, Twitter) or just daydreaming about CTB.

Have u thought about getting into programming? Look into IT related fields, it's totally possible man. There are tons of opportunity for income im sure,

if you need someone to talk to I'm here

 

[faust]

I have a type of schizophrenia. It does not respond to medications. I have issues with logical thinking and delusions.
My physical health is declining for unknown reasons.


As for the tax problems, my bank reported me to the IRS
I simply do not have the funds to pay my years of back taxes.

Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

Well, if medication was really helpful, there would not be so many people there. There are lots of reasons why physical health is declining. Can be age, environment, some deficiency in certain elements.
Do you know anything about bankruptcy in your country?

Have u thought about getting into programming? Look into IT related fields, it's totally possible man. There are tons of opportunity for income im sure,

if you need someone to talk to I'm here

IT takes a long time, there are lots of easier things

 

[Painless_end]

Have u thought about getting into programming? Look into IT related fields, it's totally possible man. There are tons of opportunity for income im sure,

if you need someone to talk to I'm here

I am a computer engineer by education. I have worked in IT full time for over 6 years since my graduation. But I have also been voluntarily unemployed for 2+ years before and now almost 9 months since my last job.

I just don't want to do anything. It's ok. Sitting here on the sofa right now knowing that I don't want any responsibility.

I just want to pass away.

 

[ClonesAnnoyMe]

I am a computer engineer by education. I have worked in IT full time for over 6 years since my graduation. But I have also been voluntarily unemployed for 2+ years before and now almost 9 months since my last job.

I just don't want to do anything. It's ok. Sitting here on the sofa right now knowing that I don't want any responsibility.

I just want to pass away.

I don't know what to say man, have you tried making music? Like FL Studio lol? It saved my life (aside from weed)