Venting Unable to enjoy being with the people that I love today

[ghostpersonthing]

Today was supposed to be a fun day and help make me feel better after everything that happened the past week but I just feel the same if not worse. I didn't talk to anyone and locked myself in my room for several days and I only began talking to certain people again when I decided to turn on my phone's notifications and saw that certain people were messaging me and in the our group chat. I really wish I didn't turn on my notifications again because I instantly went to message them and ignore my plans to ctb despite knowing that it won't affect them that much. They'd never know if I'd be alive or not and even though they all said they missed me when I came back they all seemed fine because those three have each other and can make it without me. They deserve someone stronger than me who can actually take care of their needs and handle their emotions without being tired out from any negative situations that happens between us. I wish I just decided to ctb yesterday instead of going back to them. Maybe it was also my si trying to prolong things by making me check

 

[FuneralCry]

At least to me it's understandable wishing to avoid other people as being around them certainly can be so tiring. But anyway, I wish you the best of luck.