A woman. Ironically one with small boobs, but that's utterly unimportant. She gave me hope and was the best that had happened to me in years, I made mistakes, like everyone, but nothing to deserve her leaving me for an asshole while I was away on an important trip. I'm emotionally destroyed, I don't want to move on, I don't want to meet new people, I don't want to try again. I gave life several chances after my first ex left me for another man at the end of almost 5 years together, none of them panned out until I met my michi. And it was beautiful. Until it destroyed me.
It's not a stupid reason to me, but it is to others. People tell me she's not worth killing myself. That I'm much better than her, that she doesn't deserve me in the first place. I don't give a fuck. What's the prize of a bullet and how much damage can it cause? Someone hits you in the right spot at the right time and it's enough to kill you, to destroy your entire system of beliefs and make you question if it's really worth it living in this unfair world were people are disposable and being good is just a consolation prize, second to being a stereotypical macho asshole.