Trapped in this life even though I should die

[ropeburns&migranes]

I feel trapped by my friends and family to keep on living. I can't socialize properly, I'm incompetent in everything I do, I have bulimia, I don't even have the will to live, and I'm pretty sure I have autism. I can no longer attend college so I'm basically a NEET and a burden. There's nothing I want to do in this life, I don't ever want to start a family, experience new things, make a name for myself, nothing, all I want is to perish. I only stay here for the sake of the people that I care about, I just wish they'd make it easier for me.

I've read other posts on this forum about how their parents wouldn't care if they commit suicide but once you've already decided you're going to ctb, having others care about your death will feel like imprisonment, preventing you from reaching your goal. I appreciate that they care for me enough to not openly wish for me to die but they don't realize they're actually making my plans feel more complicated than it actually is. I still love them all very much, it's just that I want release...

 

[XdragonsoulX]

I feel this very much, in the end death comes when we least expect it, no matter how badly it hurts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand feeling trapped in this existence, I understand just wanting to be gone, I also just wish for relief from this existence, it's all I could ever hope for. But anyway I wish you the best.