tonight’s the night, for real this time.

[Sarainia Angelsong]

hi guys, it's been a while. tonight is the night i finally do it, if anyone is familiar with me you'd know that i had an SN attempt 3 months ago which didn't work. a member of this forum went through my social media and decided to alert a friend of mine which is the reason why i couldn't ctb successfully.

because of my failed attempt in may, i didn't want to come back on here because i felt ashamed for failing. but for sure i'm certain everything's gonna work out my family is on a trip and i'll be alone for a while so i plan on taking the SN tonight :)

if anyone's curious my regime is the same as before except i'm doing a stat dose this time. i haven't ate since 6am. i got into a heated argument with my dad just now and we both told each other to go "fuck ourselves" so i'm doing exactly that haha. i think my breaking point was realizing that i'd never have a healthy relationship with my dad no matter how badly i wanted it and i guess today proved that'll never happen.

anyways, here's my regime :
an hour before i drink the SN

10pm ;; 600mg ibuprofen, 500mg acetaminophen

10:15pm ;; 3 x 10mg meto (30g in total)

10:30pm ;; double dose of antacid

10:35pm ;; prepare sn drinks..need 2 in case i vomit blegh

11:00pm ;; drink sn , lay in bed & die :pp

if there's anything i should change about my regime please let me know, i'll be sending out final messages and such. i'll also try to stay and be interactive as much as i can before i eventually go unconscious. thank you all :,)

I think this sounds a good plan. I might even try this myself. This is so detailed for the suicide plan, I don't have these myself so I will need to acquire of which I dunno how to do.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm glad you are ok! I hope you recover quickly and don't be too hard to yourself! We're here for you!

 

[feelinggloomy]

Peace to you

 

[paganar]

I am just checking in on you. If you are alive and fine then please reply and give us some update.

 

[Kurai]

I'm glad you're doing okay and hope you have quick recovery

 

[CantDoIt]

Im glad you are doing well! It helpful to know that you wish you had had anti anxiety meds because I also suffer from anxiety, as I'm sure many people here do as well.
I hope that you're able to rest well and get well.

 

[busrider]

I was in doubt: do everything at the end of August when I will be alone, but I have only antiemetics (and ibuprofen, but it is easy to get) or wait till the end of autumn or maybe even winter, but try to get a prescription for benzos from my therapist. Now I will probably choose the second option.
Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience. I'm sorry you had to go through that all, but at least now you know it's really peacefull method and the next time you will experience less stress. I sincerely wish you a swift recovery

 

[nir]

hello everyone.


I did end up being discovered. my moms boyfriend called EMS, i think i was retching/"choking" on my own vomit as he found me in a pool of it as he described. i was unconscious so i didn't feel anything.


i'm sorry to those who were genuinely worried for me. i had overnight treatment at the ICU and i'll be going home soon by the looks it.


i struggle with really bad anxiety and i think that's what made my experience not very pleasant but overall it was peaceful and i went unconscious very quickly (less than 15 minutes) i probably would've succeeded last night. SN is still my ctb choice and i'd do it again. i just wanted to say if you struggle with terrible anxiety like me and choose to use SN to please seek out benzos at least, i feel like my situation would've been smoother if i was fortunate enough to have benzos.


thank you a lot for your sweet words i'll try to check on this site every couple minutes or just whenever i can since i'll be going home later tonight if i'm lucky. thank you again i love you all

How are you doing now?