Story of my failed SN attempt

[monotine]

I was high on weed when I did it. I had a plan beforehand on how I was going to do it, but since I was high I impulsively took it.

Here's how it went; I went to my room greened out but still somewhat conscious. I locked my door, turned off my phone, and shut the blinds cause I didn't want any distractions when I was going to do it. I didn't dilute my SN with water, I put them in 750mg capsules and I had 11 capsules ready. For reference I'm 45kg, so I believe I didn't need 20+ grams of SN. I was already about to drink the SN but for some reason I had this urge to want to turn on my phone one last time. As soon as my phone turned on, it was ringing. My sisters were calling me non-stop so I stopped my attempt. I went to my brother to ask if something had happened to my sister, because I had so many missed calls from them. She then said that she had this bad feeling and saw me at their house with a very pale face. (we live 2 hours away from each other) The same time that I was about to do it. Idk if it's just a coincidence or some superior being who believes I'm not yet ready to go. (My family is superstitious).

Once I was with my brother, I broke down and had a panic attack as soon as I heard my sister tell me about the story. I then told them that I attempted, then passed out. Idk for how long, but when I passed out, my soul felt like I was out of my body. (I'm not entirely sure if I drank 2 tablets of SN or just 1). I wanted to talk so bad but I was stuck in the moment, like I wanted to speak and tell them that I might've ingested the SN but I couldn't. After a while I was finally able to mumble for them to bring me to the hospital as I took a "poison". I didn't want to tell them what it was.

I was rushed to the hospital and having seizures. OTW to the hospital my body was convulsing, and gasping for air. But I felt no pain at all. I assume that if I did take the tablet then maybe the onset of effects were delayed since it was in a capsule and I wasn't fasting. It was a very impulsive attempt, I know, but I just wanted to get out of here.

At the hospital they gave me anti-epileptics/anti-seizure medication via IV but my condition didn't improve. I was unresponsive. I had 3 consecutive seizures that lasted for 10 mins, and the doctors were no longer able to give me more meds because I would overdose if I had more. I flat lined for 5 seconds. During that moment I felt the euphoria other people have mentioned when they were dying. It wasn't painful, or scary at all. I was really ready to go, but I heard my non-affectionate brother crying beside me and hugging me (we aren't huggers). He said that he couldn't live without me, and maybe that's why I went back and tried to fight to live.
I also told the doctors that I took SN, but they had no idea what it was. I also told them that the antidote was Methylene Blue, but I think they didn't have them. They also had to look up what SN is. So, I instead had an NGT where they flushed my stomach with 1L charcoal mix. I stayed in the ICU for 3 days before I got discharged just yesterday. All my lab test were normal too, but the doctors can't figure out what caused my "seizures".

Also I have no long term damage so far. Just nausea, maybe from the 5 medications that was prescribed to me.

I don't feel guilty, maybe just a bit cause I know how it affected my siblings. I'm more embarrassed by the fact that they probably read my suicide letters and I'm still alive. My family confiscated my SN. I plan to get another one and finally be successful. At least I now know how fatal it actually is. I tried tasting a super small dose to test how it tastes, but it's just like regular salt or maybe that's just my tolerance. It also felt somewhat cold to the tongue.

I'm actually really drowsy for the past few days till now and would sleep for 15+ hours. I apologize in advance if my story telling is confusing.


Feel free to ask questions I'll try my best to reply

 

[uselessmanz]

I was high on weed when I did it. I had a plan beforehand on how I was going to do it, but since I was high I impulsively took it.

Here's how it went; I went to my room greened out but still somewhat conscious. I locked my door, turned off my phone, and shut the blinds cause I didn't want any distractions when I was going to do it. I didn't dilute my SN with water, I put them in 750mg capsules and I had 11 capsules ready. For reference I'm 45kg, so I believe I didn't need 20+ grams of SN. I was already about to drink the SN but for some reason I had this urge to want to turn on my phone one last time. As soon as my phone turned on, it was ringing. My sisters were calling me non-stop so I stopped my attempt. I went to my brother to ask if something had happened to my sister, because I had so many missed calls from them. She then said that she had this bad feeling and saw me at their house with a very pale face. (we live 2 hours away from each other) The same time that I was about to do it. Idk if it's just a coincidence or some superior being who believes I'm not yet ready to go. (My family is superstitious).

Once I was with my brother, I broke down and had a panic attack as soon as I heard my sister tell me about the story. I then told them that I attempted, then passed out. Idk for how long, but when I passed out, my soul felt like I was out of my body. (I'm not entirely sure if I drank 2 tablets of SN or just 1). I wanted to talk so bad but I was stuck in the moment, like I wanted to speak and tell them that I might've ingested the SN but I couldn't. After a while I was finally able to mumble for them to bring me to the hospital as I took a "poison". I didn't want to tell them what it was.

I was rushed to the hospital and having seizures. OTW to the hospital my body was convulsing, and gasping for air. But I felt no pain at all. I assume that if I did take the tablet then maybe the onset of effects were delayed since it was in a capsule and I wasn't fasting. It was a very impulsive attempt, I know, but I just wanted to get out of here.

At the hospital they gave me anti-epileptics/anti-seizure medication via IV but my condition didn't improve. I was unresponsive. I had 3 consecutive seizures that lasted for 10 mins, and the doctors were no longer able to give me more meds because I would overdose if I had more. I flat lined for 5 seconds. During that moment I felt the euphoria other people have mentioned when they were dying. It wasn't painful, or scary at all. I was really ready to go, but I heard my non-affectionate brother crying beside me and hugging me (we aren't huggers). He said that he couldn't live without me, and maybe that's why I went back and tried to fight to live.
I also told the doctors that I took SN, but they had no idea what it was. I also told them that the antidote was Methylene Blue, but I think they didn't have them. They also had to look up what SN is. So, I instead had an NGT where they flushed my stomach with 1L charcoal mix. I stayed in the ICU for 3 days before I got discharged just yesterday. All my lab test were normal too, but the doctors can't figure out what caused my "seizures".

Also I have no long term damage so far. Just nausea, maybe from the 5 medications that was prescribed to me.

I don't feel guilty, maybe just a bit cause I know how it affected my siblings. I'm more embarrassed by the fact that they probably read my suicide letters and I'm still alive. My family confiscated my SN. I plan to get another one and finally be successful. At least I now know how fatal it actually is. I tried tasting a super small dose to test how it tastes, but it's just like regular salt or maybe that's just my tolerance. It also felt somewhat cold to the tongue.

I'm actually really drowsy for the past few days till now and would sleep for 15+ hours. I apologize in advance if my story telling is confusing.


Feel free to ask questions I'll try my best to reply

Your saying you diddnt feel any pain at all?

 

[monotine]

Your saying you diddnt feel any pain at all?

Yes I felt no pain at all. Maybe soreness on my chest as after they performed multiple sternum rubs on me as I was unresponsive

 

[geepeedee]

glad you're ok op

 

[BradGuy123]

Thanks for posting your story

 

[thevoidpointer]

I was high on weed when I did it. I had a plan beforehand on how I was going to do it, but since I was high I impulsively took it.

Here's how it went; I went to my room greened out but still somewhat conscious. I locked my door, turned off my phone, and shut the blinds cause I didn't want any distractions when I was going to do it. I didn't dilute my SN with water, I put them in 750mg capsules and I had 11 capsules ready. For reference I'm 45kg, so I believe I didn't need 20+ grams of SN. I was already about to drink the SN but for some reason I had this urge to want to turn on my phone one last time. As soon as my phone turned on, it was ringing. My sisters were calling me non-stop so I stopped my attempt. I went to my brother to ask if something had happened to my sister, because I had so many missed calls from them. She then said that she had this bad feeling and saw me at their house with a very pale face. (we live 2 hours away from each other) The same time that I was about to do it. Idk if it's just a coincidence or some superior being who believes I'm not yet ready to go. (My family is superstitious).

Once I was with my brother, I broke down and had a panic attack as soon as I heard my sister tell me about the story. I then told them that I attempted, then passed out. Idk for how long, but when I passed out, my soul felt like I was out of my body. (I'm not entirely sure if I drank 2 tablets of SN or just 1). I wanted to talk so bad but I was stuck in the moment, like I wanted to speak and tell them that I might've ingested the SN but I couldn't. After a while I was finally able to mumble for them to bring me to the hospital as I took a "poison". I didn't want to tell them what it was.

I was rushed to the hospital and having seizures. OTW to the hospital my body was convulsing, and gasping for air. But I felt no pain at all. I assume that if I did take the tablet then maybe the onset of effects were delayed since it was in a capsule and I wasn't fasting. It was a very impulsive attempt, I know, but I just wanted to get out of here.

At the hospital they gave me anti-epileptics/anti-seizure medication via IV but my condition didn't improve. I was unresponsive. I had 3 consecutive seizures that lasted for 10 mins, and the doctors were no longer able to give me more meds because I would overdose if I had more. I flat lined for 5 seconds. During that moment I felt the euphoria other people have mentioned when they were dying. It wasn't painful, or scary at all. I was really ready to go, but I heard my non-affectionate brother crying beside me and hugging me (we aren't huggers). He said that he couldn't live without me, and maybe that's why I went back and tried to fight to live.
I also told the doctors that I took SN, but they had no idea what it was. I also told them that the antidote was Methylene Blue, but I think they didn't have them. They also had to look up what SN is. So, I instead had an NGT where they flushed my stomach with 1L charcoal mix. I stayed in the ICU for 3 days before I got discharged just yesterday. All my lab test were normal too, but the doctors can't figure out what caused my "seizures".

Also I have no long term damage so far. Just nausea, maybe from the 5 medications that was prescribed to me.

I don't feel guilty, maybe just a bit cause I know how it affected my siblings. I'm more embarrassed by the fact that they probably read my suicide letters and I'm still alive. My family confiscated my SN. I plan to get another one and finally be successful. At least I now know how fatal it actually is. I tried tasting a super small dose to test how it tastes, but it's just like regular salt or maybe that's just my tolerance. It also felt somewhat cold to the tongue.

I'm actually really drowsy for the past few days till now and would sleep for 15+ hours. I apologize in advance if my story telling is confusing.


Feel free to ask questions I'll try my best to reply

Would you consider it noisier than other methods?

 

[swan7o7]

I will not fail. My method is to be shot twice in the head by someone, who else thinks this is a good idea? Sorry I have no messaging yet not sure when I get it

 

[monotine]

Would you consider it noisier than other methods?

Idk what you mean by noisier, but I had no ringing on my ear. It really is just like falling asleep. I could hear the people around me, but I was unable to speak or move my body.

glad you're ok op

I'm not really glad haha. I wish I drank all of it. My family probably threw out my SN. I might buy another one and hope that it'll finally work out.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I was high on weed when I did it. I had a plan beforehand on how I was going to do it, but since I was high I impulsively took it.

Here's how it went; I went to my room greened out but still somewhat conscious. I locked my door, turned off my phone, and shut the blinds cause I didn't want any distractions when I was going to do it. I didn't dilute my SN with water, I put them in 750mg capsules and I had 11 capsules ready. For reference I'm 45kg, so I believe I didn't need 20+ grams of SN. I was already about to drink the SN but for some reason I had this urge to want to turn on my phone one last time. As soon as my phone turned on, it was ringing. My sisters were calling me non-stop so I stopped my attempt. I went to my brother to ask if something had happened to my sister, because I had so many missed calls from them. She then said that she had this bad feeling and saw me at their house with a very pale face. (we live 2 hours away from each other) The same time that I was about to do it. Idk if it's just a coincidence or some superior being who believes I'm not yet ready to go. (My family is superstitious).

Once I was with my brother, I broke down and had a panic attack as soon as I heard my sister tell me about the story. I then told them that I attempted, then passed out. Idk for how long, but when I passed out, my soul felt like I was out of my body. (I'm not entirely sure if I drank 2 tablets of SN or just 1). I wanted to talk so bad but I was stuck in the moment, like I wanted to speak and tell them that I might've ingested the SN but I couldn't. After a while I was finally able to mumble for them to bring me to the hospital as I took a "poison". I didn't want to tell them what it was.

I was rushed to the hospital and having seizures. OTW to the hospital my body was convulsing, and gasping for air. But I felt no pain at all. I assume that if I did take the tablet then maybe the onset of effects were delayed since it was in a capsule and I wasn't fasting. It was a very impulsive attempt, I know, but I just wanted to get out of here.

At the hospital they gave me anti-epileptics/anti-seizure medication via IV but my condition didn't improve. I was unresponsive. I had 3 consecutive seizures that lasted for 10 mins, and the doctors were no longer able to give me more meds because I would overdose if I had more. I flat lined for 5 seconds. During that moment I felt the euphoria other people have mentioned when they were dying. It wasn't painful, or scary at all. I was really ready to go, but I heard my non-affectionate brother crying beside me and hugging me (we aren't huggers). He said that he couldn't live without me, and maybe that's why I went back and tried to fight to live.
I also told the doctors that I took SN, but they had no idea what it was. I also told them that the antidote was Methylene Blue, but I think they didn't have them. They also had to look up what SN is. So, I instead had an NGT where they flushed my stomach with 1L charcoal mix. I stayed in the ICU for 3 days before I got discharged just yesterday. All my lab test were normal too, but the doctors can't figure out what caused my "seizures".

Also I have no long term damage so far. Just nausea, maybe from the 5 medications that was prescribed to me.

I don't feel guilty, maybe just a bit cause I know how it affected my siblings. I'm more embarrassed by the fact that they probably read my suicide letters and I'm still alive. My family confiscated my SN. I plan to get another one and finally be successful. At least I now know how fatal it actually is. I tried tasting a super small dose to test how it tastes, but it's just like regular salt or maybe that's just my tolerance. It also felt somewhat cold to the tongue.

I'm actually really drowsy for the past few days till now and would sleep for 15+ hours. I apologize in advance if my story telling is confusing.


Feel free to ask questions I'll try my best to reply

Wow SN is so potent. You say that you ended up in a hospital had seizured and flatlined by just 1 or 2 capsules?

Imagine if you took all 11 of them that you had prepared.

How did you feel when your soul left your body? Did it felt good and liberating?

 

[monotine]

Wow SN is so potent. You say that you ended up in a hospital had seizured and flatlined by just 1 or 2 capsules?

I was also shocked that 1-2 pills would do so much. Especially since it only contained 750mg per capsule.

How did you feel when your soul left your body? Did it felt good and liberating?

Yes it felt really good. I genuinely felt calm and peaceful, a feeling I haven't had in a long time. There was no "light at the end of the tunnel" just total darkness. I was ready to go, but I came back to my brother's voice. As soon as I woke up, that's when I felt pain.