This time feels different

[NancyVicious]

I've tried to catch the bus before. Failed overdoses. Went to the station to jump in front of a train earlier this year. I didn't do it because I was scared I'd fail at that too and end up paralysed and an even bigger burden than I already am.
Life gave me another shot, the man I love came back to me. I thought, stupidly, things could be different this time. It's all falling apart again. It hasn't happened yet but I can see it coming I just don't know when.

Other pressures are weighing down on me and I've just realised that life won't ever be good for more than a few weeks at a time. The last glimmer of hope has gone. Every time I've tried to catch the bus before, I've been hysterical, manic. This time, I just feel like there's no option. No way out. But I'm kind of calm. I'm not even fussed about putting my affairs in order. Why bother? It's not my problem if I'm not here. Anyone else feel like this?

 

[ikadasui]

I've tried to catch the bus before. Failed overdoses. Went to the station to jump in front of a train earlier this year. I didn't do it because I was scared I'd fail at that too and end up paralysed and an even bigger burden than I already am.
Life gave me another shot, the man I love came back to me. I thought, stupidly, things could be different this time. It's all falling apart again. It hasn't happened yet but I can see it coming I just don't know when.

Other pressures are weighing down on me and I've just realised that life won't ever be good for more than a few weeks at a time. The last glimmer of hope has gone. Every time I've tried to catch the bus before, I've been hysterical, manic. This time, I just feel like there's no option. No way out. But I'm kind of calm. I'm not even fussed about putting my affairs in order. Why bother? It's not my problem if I'm not here. Anyone else feel like this?

Exactly! Not our problem anymore! And really, who wants problems? Life is nothing but one giant problem. I'm 28 and beyond tired of solving problems. The problems solved don't even lead into rewards or joy anymore! You know what they lead into? Oh, you guessed it, more... PROBLEMS!! So yup. Right there with ya

 

[NancyVicious]

Exactly! Not our problem anymore! And really, who wants problems? Life is nothing but one giant problem. I'm 28 and beyond tired of solving problems. The problems solved don't even lead into rewards or joy anymore! You know what they lead into? Oh, you guessed it, more... PROBLEMS!! So yup. Right there with ya

Exactly. The highs do certainly not outweigh the lows. The rewards ain't worth the effort