a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
I can even select all

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The SS lounge
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  • Start dateFeb 16, 2020
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A
a.n.kirillov
velle non discitur

Nov 17, 20191,7292,811
Today at 9:45 PM
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Yeah I can still select text

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[IMG alt="Soulless_Angel"]https://sanctioned-suicide.net/data/avatars/l/9/9215.jpg?1591281872[/IMG]
Soulless_Angel
What is the point

Jul 10, 20192,0503,580
Today at 9:53 PM
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a.n.kirillov said:
Yeah I can still select text
I cant
Soulless_Angel said:
I cant
Nope that shit aint' happening for me!

Last edited: Today at 10:12 PM
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a.n.kirillov

a.n.kirillov

velle non discitur
Nov 17, 2019
1,831
We have reached a hundred pages btw

Postkarte 100 celebrate ml
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I am on the rum, today has been fucking weird, I did something today I ain't done for 2 yrs, the feedback is amazing, so why I am sitting really not interested, no excitement, no interest, no rush to do it again<
Yet on the outside I am having to yet again pretend all is great, I am sick of this shit!
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
I wrote my suicide note to my family and sent it to my email so that I could print it out. I am currently in bed, shaking and crying. My heart feels like it sank into the deepest portions of hell and still won't stop sinking. It is like an endless fall. Ever since I met him.. it's been like an endless fall.

When I met him, I told my sister this would be the one I died for.. Yet, I could not stop myself.

I loved that man so much that I destroyed the little that made me happy. This is all my fault. Last night was the last time he is ever going to hear from me and it hurt so bad. I have never loved a man this much.

Anyways, I will be calling my doc Monday for antiemetic. I could not leave this world soon enough. If I had a gun, I would shoot myself in the head right now. Death is scary but to stay alive without the man I love is a greater tragedy and I just want to get away from the pain. Nothing will bring him back.

I bought some of his merchandise and thought about wearing it the day I CTB but I'm thinking it would be too obvious why I did it. I just love..

I love you SO much. So, so very much. ♡ :'(
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I wrote my suicide note to my family and sent it to my email so that I could print it out. I am currently in bed, shaking and crying. My heart feels like it sank into the deepest portions of hell and still won't stop sinking. It is like an endless fall. Ever since I met him.. it's been like an endless fall.

When I met him, I told my sister this would be the one I died for.. Yet, I could not stop myself.

I loved that man so much that I destroyed the little that made me happy. This is all my fault. Last night was the last time he is ever going to hear from me and it hurt so bad. I have never loved a man this much.

Anyways, I will be calling my doc Monday for antiemetic. I could not leave this world soon enough. If I had a gun, I would shoot myself in the head right now. Death is scary but to stay alive without the man I love is a greater tragedy and I just want to get away from the pain. Nothing will bring him back.

I bought some of his merchandise and thought about wearing it the day I CTB but I'm thinking it would be too obvious why I did it. I just love..

I love you SO much. So, so very much. ♡ :'(
Wow that's pretty deep, is there no chance of reconciliation at all? I don't really know what else to say except that I'm sorry for the pain you're suffering right now :aw: :heart:
 
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Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
I wrote my suicide note to my family and sent it to my email so that I could print it out. I am currently in bed, shaking and crying. My heart feels like it sank into the deepest portions of hell and still won't stop sinking. It is like an endless fall. Ever since I met him.. it's been like an endless fall.

When I met him, I told my sister this would be the one I died for.. Yet, I could not stop myself.

I loved that man so much that I destroyed the little that made me happy. This is all my fault. Last night was the last time he is ever going to hear from me and it hurt so bad. I have never loved a man this much.

Anyways, I will be calling my doc Monday for antiemetic. I could not leave this world soon enough. If I had a gun, I would shoot myself in the head right now. Death is scary but to stay alive without the man I love is a greater tragedy and I just want to get away from the pain. Nothing will bring him back.

I bought some of his merchandise and thought about wearing it the day I CTB but I'm thinking it would be too obvious why I did it. I just love..

I love you SO much. So, so very much. ♡ :'(
Yeah, that's really sad, sorry for what you are going through.
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Well the lounge gota keep moving, I've been guilty of being a downer myself. People used to announce CTB plans in the sink and this may be the first one I've seen in the lounge.
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
Well the lounge gota keep moving, I've been guilty of being a downer myself. People used to announce CTB plans in the sink and this may be the first one I've seen in the lounge.

There is no chance for reconciliation. I fucked up big time.
I apologize. I didn't know where else to put the post. I was hesitant about writing that here since it is the lounge but then again, it didn't fit in the rage thread either.

I didn't wanna make another thread dedicated to my whining. What do you suggest? Also thank you all for stomaching that whiny post without being rude. I'm not certain where to make post like that(?)
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I apologize. I didn't know where else to put the post. I was hesitant about writing that here since it is the lounge but then again, it didn't fit in the rage thread either.

I didn't wanna make another thread dedicated to my whining. What do you suggest? Also thank you all for stomaching that whiny post without being rude. I'm not certain where to make post like that(?)
Na no worries, this is a general thread so it wasn't out of place or anything. You have 4 options really, new thread, rage thread, lounge, or Sink thread.
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
Na no worries, this is a general thread so it wasn't out of place or anything. You have 4 options really, new thread, rage thread, lounge, or Sink thread.

I had no idea about the sink thread! Thank you. ♡
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I had no idea about the sink thread! Thank you. ♡
Hey anytime I'm here to help too, you can also PM most of us if you really need to talk. I'm always open to talking to people if they need help, as long as I'm not too busy. I do wish you the best though.
 
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foreverbroken28

foreverbroken28

I've gone off the deep end.
Jul 11, 2019
124
Hey anytime I'm here to help too, you can also PM most of us if you really need to talk. I'm always open to talking to people if they need help, as long as I'm not too busy. I do wish you the best though.

Thanks a lot. I'll probably need to PM someone closer to my time to CTB. I'd also like to think I'm here to help but I'm just a whiny b***h. :')

I wish you the best too..whatever that may be. ♡
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
Thanks a lot. I'll probably need to PM someone closer to my time to CTB. I'd also like to think I'm here to help but I'm just a whiny b***h. :')

I wish you the best too..whatever that may be. ♡
Hey well I'm here and I'm sure anyone else who's a regular in the lounge could say the same. You can say bitch too btw hahaha.

Thank you for the well wishes as well!
 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I hope everyone had a good weekend.
 
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F

faraway_beach

Seawater and stardust
Dec 30, 2019
360
I received my temporary card for the MMJ registry! Now I just have to choose a dispensary that delivers to my borough.
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
Evening all
 
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Lorntroubles

Lorntroubles

Photography by Haris Nukem.
Jan 19, 2020
3,095
Dreamt about how @Brick In The Wall and I were to go enjoy the mountains before ctb. On the way, we stop by a grocery store and he goes through my belongings and looks at my ID. Safe to say I woke up mad at Brick, lol. Get outta my dreams, thank you!
 
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Soulless_Angel

Soulless_Angel

existence is futile
Jul 10, 2019
2,225
I have a unopened bottle of rum, its calling me, I must ignore.......
 
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RM5998

RM5998

Sack of Meat
Sep 3, 2018
2,202
There's a friend I've been talking to from here for some time... Trying to discuss our daily troubles. Recently, they got incarcerated in an MH facility for, for m what I can gather, no good reason. We've been trying to get through the days till we both get out of our current shitty situations. Things were difficult for them since they weren't able to appeal their forced containment.

They haven't responded for over a week. I keep wondering if they are still alive. I requested them to tell me if they decided to CTB, I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I don't know if they are just indisposed right now, or they found a way to go through with it. If they're gone, I can't find it in myself to grudge them for their decision... But I hate the fact that I've been left hanging here. I know that they probably didn't have time to alert me, but I want to not be left behind like this, with no knowledge of whether I should grieve or wait.
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
There's a friend I've been talking to from here for some time... Trying to discuss our daily troubles. Recently, they got incarcerated in an MH facility for, for m what I can gather, no good reason. We've been trying to get through the days till we both get out of our current shitty situations. Things were difficult for them since they weren't able to appeal their forced containment.

They haven't responded for over a week. I keep wondering if they are still alive. I requested them to tell me if they decided to CTB, I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I don't know if they are just indisposed right now, or they found a way to go through with it. If they're gone, I can't find it in myself to grudge them for their decision... But I hate the fact that I've been left hanging here. I know that they probably didn't have time to alert me, but I want to not be left behind like this, with no knowledge of whether I should grieve or wait.

That's one of the hardest things about this forum. Developing relationships and then not knowing what happened, or even just caring about another member even without developing a personal relationship.
 
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D

Deleted member 1465

_
Jul 31, 2018
6,914
There's a friend I've been talking to from here for some time... Trying to discuss our daily troubles. Recently, they got incarcerated in an MH facility for, for m what I can gather, no good reason. We've been trying to get through the days till we both get out of our current shitty situations. Things were difficult for them since they weren't able to appeal their forced containment.

They haven't responded for over a week. I keep wondering if they are still alive. I requested them to tell me if they decided to CTB, I wanted to be able to say goodbye. I don't know if they are just indisposed right now, or they found a way to go through with it. If they're gone, I can't find it in myself to grudge them for their decision... But I hate the fact that I've been left hanging here. I know that they probably didn't have time to alert me, but I want to not be left behind like this, with no knowledge of whether I should grieve or wait.
It's tough when something like that happens. I've had a few similar circumstances on here. No idea what what happened.
 
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